The Final Countdown: One Week Til Ruby.

I keep resisting the urge to dwell on all the “lasts” I’ll be having this week. The last Sunday morning yoga class with Michelle before Ruby {so grounding}. The last Duran Duran concert with Jeannie before Ruby {true story, going tonight!}. The last drink at the Shady Lady before Ruby {uh, I guess I need to still make this plan}…

You get the picture.

Next Monday our life changes forever.

We finally meet this little one.

The last few weeks I’ve been feeling really excited and ready to get the Ruby show on the road already – a mix of anxiety and anticipation with a side of exhaustion. Is this what pregnancy is like the last few weeks?

We travel this week.

Try not to be jealous of our crazy trip {or at least what we think our trip will look like}.

We fly to Taiwan late Friday night, experience what I’m sure will be the most excellent Saturday of my life whilst on the plane and land in Taipei early Sunday morning.

Monday morning we hop the high-speed rail and finally go pick up the Rubes{!!!}.

By Monday evening our new little family returns to Taipei.

Tuesday morning we bring Ruby with us for the paperwork Olympics.

Sometime between Tuesday afternoon and Thursday night when we fly out, we pick up our completed paperwork.

As for the rest of our trip, we’re going to let it unfold. We’ll be sure to take lots of pictures.

How do you deal with anticipation?

Adoption Update: We’re Picking Up Ruby!

Exactly six weeks ago, our agency called to say we got first decree.

Today we received our travel dates.

We will finally meet Ruby the first week of October when we travel to Taiwan to pick her up.

We’re obviously over the moon with the news and are excitedly preparing for our trip and Ruby’s arrival.

Thanks for all your love and support!

Adoption Update: We Travel in Six Weeks!

{via}

Much to our amazement, we got THE CALL yesterday morning telling us we’ll be traveling to Taiwan in about six weeks. This wasn’t just surprising because we’ve been on the receiving end of so much bad news surrounding our adoption, it is surprising because we were expecting to travel at the end of the calendar year.

So. Many. Changes.

So. Many. Emotions.

I’m thinking this is our first lesson in parenthood – plans, shmans.

If you’d like to help us prepare for welcoming our girl home, please read the following links. Rosie has done an absolutely brilliant job at getting to the point of what we’ll be needing from you all in the coming months.

Dear Friends And Family

We Are Family

18 Ways to Love The New Family or Family Member In Your Life

Meet Ruby: 32 Months In the Making

After what seems like an eternity, we finally got a referral!

(In English means we were matched with a baby).

We’ve decided to call her Ruby.

Projected travel time: 6-8 months from now (lots of paperwork and time in court).

Not to worry, we have about 10 bazillion house projects to do and finally a reason to do them.

We will keep you all updated with new pictures as they come in and updates on travel as we find out.

Thank you for all your support and love over the last 32 months.

Saturday Senses

tasting :: sautéed zucchini, chickpeas and tomatoes with israeli couscous.

hearing :: willie nelson’s demo sessions.

smelling :: peanut butter from my waffles this morning.

seeing :: when i see the amount we have paid so far for our adoption plus what we still need to pay – about $35,000 in all – my blood pressure rises. working on a grant application put this all in front of my eyes this week. hello, stress!

feeling :: squeezed/tight/constricted. spring break is still far enough away i don’t believe it is actually going to happen and i’m finally worried about money for adoption – i guess my long-held denial may be coming to an end.

wishing/hoping :: we can all find a little peace and calm this long week before spring break.

What about you?

What are your senses this Saturday?

Looking back, how was your week?

Leave a comment and tell me all about it. I’d seriously love to hear about your week. Now’s not the time to be shy.

This weekly tradition inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

Don’t forget to click the links!

Saturday Senses

tasting :: nothing

hearing :: your current adoption wait time: 2-3 more YEARS. {unless we switch to another country}

smelling :: nothing

seeing :: through a lot of tears.

feeling :: gutted, but well-loved and supported. super delicate and very much in need of a soft touch.

wishing/hoping :: for some time and space to just be sad. some clarity on what we will do. kindness to self and from others.

What about you?

What are your senses this Saturday?

Looking back, how was your week?

Leave a comment and tell me all about it. I’d seriously love to hear about someone’s week that didn’t totally suck. If your week sucked, tell me about it anyway. I’d love to have some company.

This weekly tradition inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

Don’t forget to click the links!

Pregnant for 21 Months…and Counting

Pregnant for 21 Months… and Counting 

{This was first published at Becky and Hollee’s blog back in June 2010.}

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Today we are pleased to welcome a California mom-to-be who shares how she’s coping with the a very long journey to motherhood.–Hollee

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Can you imagine being pregnant for 21 months and counting? Welcome to the world of international adoption!

During the fall semester of 2008 (we’re both public school teachers), we began our very long journey toward becoming parents. Every second that fall was filled with adoption paperwork. We answered essay questions about why we wanted to adopt and it all came down to this:

There are children in the world who need families and we want to raise a child.

We both believe families are made, not born.

Tami and her husband

 

Autobiographies were written. Fingerprints were cleared by all possible agencies. We wrote a child care plan, divulged tax information, ran financial reports, found guardians for our future child and talked about discipline. Home studies were completed, doctors were consulted and notaries notarized every single scrap of paper.

Through this process I have learned a lot about my husband. I admire his ability to stay hyper-focused and organized, strengths I don’t share. His desire to become a parent has deepened my feelings for him in ways I never expected. Maybe this is what people talk about when they say they fall in love again after their children are born.

In large part, our application was completed in record time because of his determination to make this happen. We turned it all in to our agency and patted ourselves on the back.

Then there was nothing to do — except wait.

Did you hear anything yet?
Why does it take so long?
Did you hear anything yet?
Are you sure this is all legit?
Did you hear anything yet?
I’m sure you’ll get pregnant, now that your paperwork is finished.
Did you hear anything yet?

No, we haven’t heard anything yet. We’re hoping (fingers crossed) that it will be next summer when we travel. For now, we simply have to wait our turn and figure out how to fill our time while we wait.

As you can imagine, it’s not always easy to just wait. As a culture, we are fairly accustomed to immediate gratification.

So how are we spending our paper-pregnancy time?

We’re reading adoption books (Adoption is a Family Affair: What Relatives and Friends Must Know is a favorite), general parenting books (we’re always looking for recommendations) and cultivating relationships with other waiting/adoptive families. There is nothing like the support of people who have gone through or are currently going through the same experience.

We’re taking classes to make sure we’re at the highest salary possible when our child arrives, making some much-needed home improvements, and now re-doing lots of paperwork because it needs to be renewed annually.

But mostly, we’re just waiting.

Our friends and family are all trying to be patient and supportive, only occasionally raising the when question. This experience is new to them, too, and they want to stay involved and help us in our wait. Love is all around.

Sometimes though, they admit that they forget that we’re expecting. They apologize and ask about the timeline and procedures. But truth be told, sometimes I forget too. There is no baby bump or physical change, no big nesting urge or due date. At this point, we don’t even have a referral, so there isn’t even a picture of our waiting child.

Right now, our pregnancy is still a completely paper one.

Through this process, I’m learning a lot about myself. For starters, I am slowly developing the ability to not need to know what is going to happen next and to not feel defensive because I don’t have all of the answers. My faith in what is to be has been repeatedly tested and I haven’t come completely undone.

My heart is opening in unexpected ways: I’ve been able to accept the support of friends and family, and to look inside for acceptance of who I am without judgment. I know I’ll need these skills once I become a parent.

Yoga is actually helping the most. By practicing living in this moment, not trying to anticipate what will happen, the waiting becomes much more bearable. I’m trying to cultivate the feeling that life unfolds and to remember that forcing or pressing adds to the suffering.

Building your family through adoption is a long process that requires a lot of love, compassion, support and patience. I’m happy to know I’m not on this journey alone.

Tami Hackbarth is a full-time public school teacher in Northern California. When she’s not bossing kids around, she also teaches yoga to people who think it’s not for them. She is pursuing an advanced degree in resting, storytelling and social media. She can be found on Twitter and at her blog: Teacher Goes Back to School.