Lots of folks these days are sharing what they love at this moment. Not feeling it today. So instead you get my current bitch list and I invite you add your own list.
1. Bad music which everyone seems to love except me. See: Train, John Mayer, Katy Perry. {heel of hand squarely to forehead}… Oh my god, people, please stop. I would like to listen to the radio again some day. Don’t make me become even more of an NPR nerd or community radio snob.
2. Boobs, boobs, boobs. Ladies, please when in public, keep the girls dressed. Is it really necessary to put on your mascara with just a towel around your waist? Allergic to your shirt? Get ready at home. Also included: too much cleavage when you do finally get dressed.
3. Locker room surprises. Hey lady wrapped in a tiny gym towel, please DO NOT BEND OVER.
4. Crying at the silliest little things. Little tiny red gingham shirt? Check. Adorable mini red double-breasted coat? Check. A hand-me-down wooden rocking horse from a neighbor kid now called “Big Ruby” ? Check.
5. Loud grunting noises from someone’s boyfriend in the weight room. Dude, save it for the bedroom. And while we’re talking, can you stop staring at yourself in the mirror and hogging all the machines?
6. Endless Sun Salutations in yoga class. Honestly, I’m thinking you didn’t want to plan your class and you just want to wear us out. It’s been a while since I’ve been tortured by relentless salutations {thank you IAY’s fabulous “peak pose” planners}, but if this is you and you think you are fooling anyone, you are not.
7. Petty thievery. Did I mention someone stole one of our dining room chairs? Yes, it was on our front porch, but come on. One?
8. Dairy. It is found in most things I would like to eat. Not the over the top slathered in cheese or creamy sauce {although I’m still not against those things}, but in sneaky places like bread, marinara sauce, and other foods you’d think would be cow juice free. Thank god for food labels.
9. My inability to complete a thought or project. Enough said.
Now you. What’s twisting your panties today?
Teacher Goes Back to School 
1. top 40 music
2. that my son will only listen to top 40 music. that eminem /bruno mars song makes me want to drive into the river.
3. people who equate their bullying with being a strong person.
4. exuberant bank overdraft charges and late credit card payment fees.
5.sarah michelle gellar. sorry I just do.
6. dumbshits who use exuberant when they mean exorbitant.
7. not being able to edit when you have been an internet dumbshit.
95 degree days. effing sick of it.
runners or cyclists that run/ride side-by-side and take up the bike path. i don’t want to hit you but i effing will, you keep that shit up.
flies in my house. they are the devil.
unexpected ancient twisted karma moments. i had that old (like from grade-school) feeling that a friend “likes” another friend more than me come up out of the blue from a *comment on facebook.* totally surprised me. i’m 41, does that shit really have to matter still??
People who make up words or mispronounce words. I do not now and never will work in a “liberry” and nor do I use “bookmarkers” because there are no such things.
HARDCORE. I cannot help lovin’ me some Katy Perry. Do I live vicariously through her? Do I want to kiss a girl and see if I like it? Do I just like to shake my butt? Sure. And I’m a fan of boobs. I can’t help myself. I like cleavage but I don’t like *too* much cleavage. There’s a fine line there and I know sometimes I’ve crossed it though I try not to. Well, and then there’s the drunk flashing of said boobs but that’s a whole other post…
Girlfriend, I hate to tell you this, but your crying over the silliest little things ain’t even done started yet. Better stock up on the Kleenex.
As usual, you make me want to do a post. I will possibly go ahead and steal your topic. Thanks!!
This.
Also a bunch of other things that I won’t list because I know they probably make me petty and judgmental but absolutely drive me bonkers.
And I totally agree on the music. I loved at least being able to listen to the Buzz and having it be stuff that was older and, therefore, usually not as irritating as new stuff. Now they’re just like all the other stations and I spend all my drive time pushing buttons because, maybe, just this once, ONE of the radio stations will be playing something that doesn’t COMPLETELY suck.
Woo! Crabby. It’s going around.
Stupid criminals who refuse to take responsibility for their criminality. Seriously dude you are going to deny those are your drugs when we have you on video throwing the s@*t from the car???
People who tailgate you on the freeway and then when you get over so they can pass, slow down and never pass you so you are stuck in the slow lane. No wonder I now stay in the fast lane : )
1.) incorrect grammar usage ( i was a teacher so i’m obsessive about dangling participles and excessive use of “it is” “that is”)
2.) pomposity, arrogance or thinking you are the shiznit. hate. hate. hate.
3.) excessive holdings of shoulder intensive poses. NO ONE has strong shoulders. sorry, they’re all faking it and hurting themselves. period.
4.) filing the gas tank, making coffee. love the outcomes: driving & drinking, hate the process
5.) sappy modern country music
6.) copy cats. sorry this should have been #1 BE YOURSELF PEEPS!
7.) any word that starts with “p” and ends in “y” i.e. pussy, panty, pouty
OMG cannot stop.. so much fun!!!! thanks