Life Lesson From My Mom


I tried so hard not to roll my eyes at my mom when she shared this bit of wisdom with me as a teenager.  In fact I’m pretty sure I almost pulled a muscle from trying not to roll my eyes in front of her. I didn’t want to be rude, but really.

What could my mom possibly know about life?

She is, well, my mom.

So on we went. She pretended not to notice the eye rolling and I pretended I was listening….

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.


Recently I was lamenting that I wish someone had told me the secret to a happy, healthy life and it hit me.

Someone had.

My mom was right.

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

If you don’t love you – and treat yourself well – how will anyone else?

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

You may be saying, “of course I love myself! Who doesn’t?”

But really it comes down to this.

Self-care is a direct indicator to how much you love you.

  • If you aren’t making your own care a priority – are you really loving you?
  • If you are constantly exhausted from putting everyone’s needs before your own – are you really loving on you?
  • If you can’t remember the last time you felt rested, relaxed, refreshed, nourished, nurtured and abundant – are you really loving on you?

The secret to a healthy, happy life is self-care. The secret to loving your life is self-care. The secret to feeling loved and nurtured and nourished is, you guessed it, self-care.


Self-care matters because WE matter.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Of course.

Before I started taking care of myself, I mean really taking care of myself, I thought I was going to have to quit teaching – a job I absolutely love and believe is my calling – because I was so unhealthy, and unhappy.

I was working all the time, not making time for friends or family or fun. I was fueling myself on adrenaline, caffeine and sugar. I was skipping exercise and skimping on sleep – while suffering from massive anxiety and insomnia – just to keep my head above water. I thought I was doing the right thing because if you constantly feel behind, you just need to work longer and harder. Right?

Fast forward to a few years into the job. I was exhausted – physically and emotionally – and when my principal finally stepped in for an intervention of sorts — he asked me if I was happy being a teacher and my answer was to sob in his office. I knew the jig was up.

I had to change what I was doing.

Enter restorative yoga.

What is restorative yoga?

Restorative yoga can be thought of active relaxation. It is different from the yoga you’ve probably experienced before. The biggest difference is that in restorative yoga we lie down with blankets, bolsters, blocks, straps, sandbags, over chairs and make ourselves very comfortable for up to 30 minutes per pose.

Yep, we lie down and relax our bodies and minds. That’s the yoga.

In other words, probably the most difficult part of the class/practice is making it there on time or actually setting aside time to do it. Or not falling asleep. Or weeping because you can’t believe how tired you are.

If you can easily get down on the floor and up again, we’re golden. We get comfy on the floor and let the props do the work. Our job in restorative yoga is to relax the body and hopefully the mind will follow.

Other people may have a more technical explanation, but I feel like lying down with the purpose of relaxing the body and brain is a good way to put it.

People have asked why I get so much out of a practice that essentially looks like I’m laying on the floor quietly doing nothing.

It does seems silly. Until you do it for a while and you realize some things about yourself.

Here are the Top Five Things I’ve Learned About Myself By Doing Restorative Yoga — click over to the Arise and Be blog to find out what I learned...

Remember what my mom said – people can only love you as much as you love yourself.

How can you show yourself some self-love today?

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