Sacramento Self-Care Event TONIGHT! {it’s FREE}

Hey you!

We are hearing a lot of talk these days about self-care and many people are left feeling like it is just one more thing to do in their already packed schedule. We know what we should do, but something is keeping us from doing it.

Join me – Tami Hackbarth – , Holly Holt and Nikki Stern for an evening discussion talking about what self-care really is and how to bring more of it into your life and how to feel good every day.

You will leave the workshop with a new way of thinking about self-care and a plan to get started right away.

Please bring something to take notes and a pen.

TONIGHT! 6-7:30 Ella K. McClatchy Library – FREE!

100% Guilt-Free Self-Care

Self-Care Now More Than Ever

Geeking Out On: Pay Attention Podcast w/Nikki + Melissa

headphones

My friends, Nikki and Melissa, started a podcast called Pay Attention and I can’t get enough of it. In fact, I am geeking out on book pairings for each episode so keep reading to find my book picks.

Why am I so excited about Pay Attention Podcast? Well, first off, these are two of my great friends talking about stuff I dig:friendship, food, generosity + gift giving, receiving, money and hope.

Nikki + Melissa’s podcast very much remind me of another lady friendship podcast I love: Joy The Baker. (I highly recommend listening to every episode of this one too – all 137 episodes!)

I thought you’d love Pay Attention Podcast too, so I’m linking to each episode with some of my thoughts added with a BONUS book recommendation for each episode.

They have no idea I am writing this post, so I hope they get a kick out of my commentary.

pay attention

Pay Attention Podcast with Nikki + Melissa

Episode 1: Friendiversary

You can listen to episode one to hear how Nikki and Melissa met and became friends. I love their business BFF story which has lead to real friendship.

I am lucky enough to call both of them friends as well! I met Nikki at It’s All Yoga about a million years ago and friended her on Facebook because I got a good feeling about her.

Do you ever do that? I recommend doing it. Yes, it feels awkward at first, but it can pay off quickly.

Anyway, once Nikki returned from the Pacific Northwest as a new mama with a kid my kid’s age, I decided we needed to hang out with our kids and so I asked her out on some mama dates and the rest is history. Turns out we have a lot in common – mostly life philosophy – and now co-host retreats together and try to hang out as often as possible.

Melissa and I met not too long after she and Nikki did. People from all parts of our lives kept asking if we knew each other and so we finally met for tea one morning where we, of course, ran into Nikki! It was clearly meant to be.

This episode reminded me of the book:

MWF Book Cover Cropped

While neither Nikki, Melissa nor I was in search of a new BFF per se, this book talks about how finding female friends post college is a challenge. And with some effort and vulnerability you can add more awesome women to your friends tribe.

Episode 2: Food

Nikki + Melissa talk about making friends with your body by listening to the messages she sends to you. And then feeding yourself kindly and with so much love.

I love this because so many women struggle with food: too much, not enough, good food versus bad food and so many messages about food and not one of them helpful or kind. I love Nikki’s philosophy about food and connecting it to mood.

This episode reminds me of this book:

Women-Food-and-Desire-Embrace-SDL801196440-1-bade7

Like Nikki, Alex is a health coach (and was the girlfriend in Super Size Me). They share many of the same ideas about food and making friends with ourselves to improve our relationship with food and our bodies.

Episode 3: Gift Giving

This episode has me thinking about gift giving and how it hasn’t played a big part in my life. And how that might need to change. Gifts are definitely NOT my love language – even though I do appreciate getting them.

This episode reminds me of this book:

gifts-of-imperfection.jpg

While this book is about a different kind of gift, I couldn’t help but include it here because Brene Brown’s work has been such a huge influence on my life as well as Nikki and Melissa’s.

If you haven’t yet read this book, please do.

Episode 4: Receive

Nikki and Melissa talk about the book The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen and how their lives have been changed for the better by learning to accept compliments and allowing others to give freely to them.

Admittedly, this book is a bit woo-woo and out of my comfort zone. Already though reading this book has changed my life in so many positive ways and I continue to dive deeper into this work.

This episode reminded me of:

power of

I highly recommend this book to women who feel they have to do it all themselves and are burnt out and tired. She includes easy exercises to bring more help and ease into your life.

Episode 5: Money

Nikki and Melissa do some real talk about how they used to deal (or not) with their money and how once they started paying attention to it, more came to them.

I love this episode because honestly I struggle around money. Not so much not having enough of it, but in being afraid of it. Being in business for myself has revealed lots of outdated and untrue stories I have been telling myself about money and I’ve spent the last couple years facing my fears (slowly).

This episode reminded me of the book:

Get-Rich-Lucky-Bitch

I have been slowly making my way through this book (and doing the exercises) in the tiniest book club (just me and one other friend) and I have learned so much about myself and my relationship with money. Whew! Let’s just say, I’ve got a lot of work to do in this area.

Episode 6: Hope

Nikki and Melissa talk about whether it is possible to be happy during sad and trying times in your life.

I can speak directly to this with a resounding YES.  There is a huge caveat, it doesn’t happen by accident.

This episode reminds me of this book:

hope dies last.jpg

I read this back when it was released in 2003 and felt a deep sense of, well, hope. I might have to check it out again.

I’d love to know what is on your mind. Please leave a comment tell me all about it.

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

Other related posts:

Featured Teacher Interview with Nikki Stern

Featured Teacher Interview with Melissa Camilleri

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2 SPOTS left for June 2016!

Winter Recipes

Hey, friend!

Do you ever wonder why I do what I do? I shared some of my thoughts here if you are interested.

One of my big self-care “secrets” is cooking and eating at home. I air quoted that secret because it’s another one of those things we all know we “should” do, but many times don’t make the time, space or effort.

I’m endlessly curious about what people feed their families, so I’m sharing what I feed mine in hopes you’ll share your favorite recipes with me.

Today I am sharing with you some of my absolute favorite winter recipes. Each of these has been road tested by my family and given a huge thumbs up.

One of the biggest criteria for a successful recipe in my book, other than being super tasty of course, is that it is easy. I am a fan of non fussy, plant-based, delicious, fast food. So rest assured each of the recipes below meet all that criteria.

winter recipe mail chimp

White Beans with Spinach and Sausage – I use Field Roast Italian sausage to keep it vegetarian friendly and this soup disappears almost as quickly as it comes together – less than 30 minutes start to finish.

Tuscan Vegetable Soup – another warm, hearty bowl of yum that comes together in under 30 minutes. I use vegan parmesan to keep mine dairy free, but my family loves using the real stuff for more flavor.

Cheesy Broccoli Soup – WITHOUT cheese! Nutritional yeast is magic fairy pixie dust and has made my dairy free life much more delicious. Again, this soup comes together in about 30 minutes and my kid claps when some ends up in her bowl. So easy! So delicious.

Red Lentil Coconut Soup – 30 minutes and this soup is perfect and ready to make your winter meal time tasty and beautiful. This is my go-to soup. I use bottled roasted peppers to avoid buying out of season and shave as much ginger into the pot as my kid will let me. This is winter comfort in a bowl. If you haven’t made this soup yet, please do. Or come to my house and enjoy some here. This is my kid’s favorite soup.

Roasty Soba Bowl – vegetables and lentils served over noodles with an easy and delicious sauce? Sign me up! I buy the steam packed ready to use lentils at Trader Joe’s to make this dish come together under 30 minutes.

For so many more tried and true recipes, please visit my Recipes to Make Again board on Pinterest.

I’m also going to share a few new vegetable recipes that caught my eye from Eat Your Beets. I haven’t tried these yet, but they sure look good!

Citrus and Honey Roasted Beets

Dairy Free Potato Leek Soup

Winter Kale Salad with Pomegranate, Almond and Cauliflower

20 Colorful Winter Salads to Eat Right Now

Butternut Squash Macaroni and NO Cheese

I’d love to know your favorite winter recipes.  Please leave me a comment and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

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Favorite Reads of the Week

If you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.

 

In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).

So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Gabrielle shares her weekly roundup she calls A Few Things and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!

favorite reads of the week

Gilmore Girls Revival is real!

How to Enjoy Work (Even When You are Busy + Kind of Overwhelmed). Good lord, YES!

10 Best Feminist Quotes of 2015 – thank you, Sarah!

The Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich. Quit it. I think I need a nap.

Why Slowing Down Your Kid’s Schedule Might Be a Good Thing. I have been thinking A LOT about slowing down this week.

6 Secrets for Warming Winter Smoothies to Help With Digestion – don’t freeze your chi!

In Order to Change Habits, You Need to Change How You Think About Yourself – THIS: Consider, ‘What kind of person am I and is this right for me?’ and not ‘This is what Steve Jobs did,’ or ‘Everybody should get up early and run.’

Pursuing change through sheer willpower is for amateurs; examine yourself, and real change will follow.

Avoiding Burnout in the Age of Busyness

7 Tips for Coping With Fewer Daylight Hours – perhaps slightly late for this year, but rumor has it we have plenty of winter left.

How to Set Boundaries from Brene Brown aka my secret BFF.

I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please leave me a comment and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

Why I Do What I Do.

Inevitably every day a woman tells me about how much she needs a break, a moment of peace, some space to gather herself, a reprieve. Some days, more than one woman tells me about how stressed she is or how tired, or how she just can’t catch a break or her breath.

It doesn’t matter the age or marital status or whether the woman is a mother, I hear from all kinds of women that their lives have become unmanageable, unhealthy, out of control and that if they could just catch their breath, things would get better.

I can totally relate. Before I became a mother, I worked super long hours as a teacher and always promised myself I would rest during the next school break. Usually what would happen is I would get sick and be forced to rest because I was too sick to get out of bed. Not exactly the break I had fantasized about, but at least I was resting finally.

Then I would start the cycle again.

In the first few months after bringing our daughter home, I exhausted myself by trying to be there for her 24 hours a day. Even when it was my husband’s time to bond with her and to take care of her, I was hovering nearby at the ready to jump in and take over…just in case anyone needed me.

As the months wore on this constant state of being ready, of anticipation of coming to the rescue, wore me down. I was left mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted and scared to death I wouldn’t be able to be a good mother (or friend, wife or daughter). I knew I couldn’t sustain this pace of life and be happy.

Something had to change. I had to do something differently, in order to feel differently in my life.

So I started with some small changes. Things we all know we need to do, but rarely actually make happen.

I started with sleep. The advice about sleeping when the baby sleeps? I actually started doing that. I took naps when she took naps, I started going to bed earlier and pretty quickly I started feeling noticeably better.

Did I have to fight the voices in my head saying I was wasting precious time sleeping? Of course I did. After a while they got a little kinder, but in a culture where being exhausted is a status symbol, the pressure is real.

Feeling a bit more empowered because this seemingly small change made such a big difference in how I felt mentally and emotionally, I started making other small changes.

I made a plan to add more movement into my life. I first had to let go of the idea that a workout had to be an hour long ordeal at a gym with expensive clothes and lots of sweat.

I had to make peace with small changes being good enough. Again, we live in a culture that only celebrates huge weight loss, 6 pack abs and tiny waists.

I started walking with another new mama most days of the week. We met super early in the morning because now that we had tiny people we were up before the sun anyway. We would walk and talk and walk and talk some days for hours. We would take the kids to the park and push them on the swings until it was time to take them home for naps.

Each day I spent sleeping more, moving my body more and talking, talking, talking to my mama friend, the better I felt.

These small changes led to more small changes and over the last few years I have added many small daily practices to my life which have helped me feel healthier, happier and more sane than ever before. Most days I feel like my life is pretty manageable – I’ve got time to move, be quiet, read, connect with friends and family. It definitely looks much more like the life I had envisioned for myself.

I share this with you today to let you know you aren’t alone if you are feeling run down, exhausted by the pace of life. Not by a long shot. So many of us have been there.

There is a growing community of women who are making small changes in their lives and noticing a big difference in how they feel. We are supporting each other in our personal growth and feeling empowered that we are not alone in our efforts.

You are invited to be a part of this growing community. What small changes can you make today to feel more space in your life?

I would love to hear from you. Please tell me about where you need support in your self-care.

Big hugs,
Tami

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Click here for more information on our April and June 2016 retreats.

Favorite Reads of the Week

This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.

In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).

So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Tracy shares her weekly roundup she calls I Love Lists Fridays (also be sure to check out her photo roundup called My Everyday Life) and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!

favorite reads of the week

7 Simple Ways to Read More This Year – check. check. check.

4 Tips to Keep Your ME Time When You Are a Momma – I definitely feel number one is my secret weapon. No woman is an island.

The Power of Restorative Yoga for a Cold – YES! At home with all the blankets and pillows you can find.

6 Feng Shui Tips To Bring Purpose, Intention + Clarity Into Your Home. – One of my college roommates teaches feng shui and has piqued my interest.

Swear Word Coloring Books – As a way to keep my hands and brain busy and to practice mindfulness around the house, I’ve taken up coloring. It worked great too as a way to pass the time int the car on a long summer road trip. I am pretty sure this will be mine! {save the date: 5/22 for a coloring date with me at It’s All Yoga}

The 15 Most Beautiful Places in California You Didn’t Even Know Existed. – I am a CA native and I didn’t know about these. Must change that stat!

Napping Office Chair – dude. Just yes.

The NOT To Do List: 15 Habits To Stop Now – What do you think?

A New Way to Increase Your Emotional Connection – would you try this?

I joined the club. Instagram made me do it!

I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

February Do Over

Dear Friend,

Real Talk: January is not my favorite. I try every year to make friends, I really do.

Then inevitably I pick up a virus, can’t shake it for the life of me and then spend the entire month telling everyone person I see that I am never going to be well again. And coughing. THE COUGHING.

Sounds hyperbolic perhaps, but at some point early in every winter I am convinced I will never feel good again.

PS – I hate this part.

So I am hereby declaring:

january is
Why am I telling you this?

Good question!

The first reason is to invite you to join me in January 2017 to just rest, hibernate and recover or staying well if you have managed to not pick up a virus.

Before you reject this idea because we’ve all been conditioned that January is the month to do! all !the! things! Please think about how you felt this January….

  • Were you rested?
  • Did you nourish yourself with food?
  • Did you love your body through movement?
  • Did you go to bed super early and wake up when it got light?
  • Did you feel soothed and loved or were you frazzled and dry coughing like a wounded seal?

This is not to shame any of us if we were the later. This is to acknowledge that our culture tells us to resist nature -and millions of years of evolution- and we rush through the winter like crazy people despite there being evidence of nature telling us to slow down.

The other reason I am telling you is because I need to remind myself and ask for public accountability.

I declare MY January 2017 to be full of:

  • excellent hand washing
  • lots of napping
  • 8+ hours every night of sleep
  • restorative yoga at home
  • endless cups of hot tea
  • soup, soup, soup
  • slow walking
  • knit hats and warm socks
  • reading books made of paper
  • lots of screen-free time (esp at night)
  • coloring books
  • and so much quiet.

So again, consider this is an invitation to join me a year from now to enter the new year – the entire month of January – as one of complete rest.

Worried you’ll forget? No need, in December I will remind us all that January is a time of rest, restoration and recuperation.

So for I hereby declare:

feb us new jan.jpg
I’d love to know what you think of my new January is month of rest and hibernation. I’d love to know how you were feeling this month. Be sure to leave a comment.

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

 

Favorite Reads of the Week

This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.

In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).

So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Jenna shares her weekly roundup she calls For Your Weekend and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!

favorite reads of the week

Do Your Insides Match Your Outsides? I love every single thing Stasia says. Please grab a cup a tea and go meet your new BFF.

Empathy Cards – Ever struggle with what to say when shit goes wrong? These will help!

29 Ways to Actually Enjoy Winter – So many good things! What’s your favorite?

29 Things Vegetarians Can Make for Dinner That Aren’t Pasta – I haven’t tried these yet, however I bet I will be adding some to my tried and true road tested recipes soon. 

7 Ways to Naturally Up Your Energy Without Caffeine – I would also add legs up the wall or Savasana for 15 minutes.

6 Relaxing Yoga Poses To Help You Fall Asleep – winter hibernation? Yes, please.

How To Recognize the Signs of Burnout Before You’re Burned Out. I could have used this a few years ago.

9 Ways To Find More Time For The Things You WANT To Do – Let’s be the boss of ourselves and make time for what WE want to do.

Favorite Reads of the Week

Dear Friend,

In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).

So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Sarah from Yes and Yes does a link roundup called Weekly Web Time Wasters and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!

This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.

favorite reads of the week

What To Have In Your Fridge Sunday to Eat Healthy All Week – This is what I aspire to do each week. I get pretty close, but the fridge photos are enviable.

Meal Prep: Week One – I have a longstanding love affair with Tracy from Shutterbean and I am total process nerd. It kills me (in a good way) to see how people create systems that work. Tracy is working on Foundation for 2016 and I think she’s off to an excellent start.

6 Questions to Ask in Every Job Interview lots of people I know are looking to make a career change in this new year. Hoping this can help you out. If you aren’t looking for a job, some of these can help with cocktail conversation at your next networking event.

My friends are awesome. Meet my friend, Keryn. She might have the coolest job ever.

How to Save $1000 Without Even Trying All great reminders.

Introducing the Book of YES (it’s FREE for now) – get it while you can.

New Year’s Resolutions for People Who Like Themselves. Kind and gentle, just like I like them. I want to read everything Asha writes.

How to Do (almost) Anything In 2016 – travel more? CHECK. get healthier? CHECK. build stronger friendships? CHECK.

A neuroscientist says there’s a powerful benefit to exercise that is rarely discussed. – I’ve been walking for about a year and loving it. I took swimming lessons this fall and fell in love. I’m in the process of strengthening my lungs to make it a regular part of my day. How do you move your body?

I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

Building Better Habits A 4-week Series with Tami Hackbarth

Sacramento: would you like to build better habits? Registration is now open.
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Live Well Women’s Retreats 2016 are in the works!
Get on the list for:  details, discounts + destinations
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My 2016 Word of the Year

Happy New Year, friend! I am popping in today because I wanted to share some good news with you!

First, I have been doing some serious soul searching over the last few months about who I work with, what they have told me they need and what I can offer in terms of guidance and support.

What I have come up with is this:

I help kickass women (like YOU) find their inner badass through 100% guilt free self-care.

Why 100% guilt-free self-care?

Because it is hard to be a badass when your life is kicking your ass and you feel guilty for taking care of yourself.

I help kickass women get in touch with what they:

  • Want more of in their life: friends, family, fun, happiness, feeling great
  • What they want less of: stress, being stuck, resentment

We work together to make a plan they can stick to and revise it until it becomes second nature.

Tada!

It is all about intentional living/lifestyle design with a side dish of rest + relaxation.

The way I work with women:

  • In person group sessions at It’s All Yoga in Sacramento
  • Private coaching sessions via Skype (so don’t be sad if you live outside of Sacramento, we can still make it happen!)
  • Weekend retreats where we make new friends, eat great food, lounge around over bolsters and take a break from our daily responsibilities.

I’ve included some links below for my upcoming series and retreats. Please be sure to sign up if these interest you. Shoot me a message by hitting reply if you’d like to talk about private coaching sessions.

The other big news is I picked my word of 2016!

Most years I wait until the end of January because December is so exhausting, but I did so well saying no to all the extra stuff I had time for my year end personal summit AND choosing my word of the year.

YAY ME!

2016 word of the year

One foot in front of the other day after day. Small steps every day will get me where I want to go with a feeling of equanimity that I desire.

Please click here to read about how I choose my words.

Rosie’s word and Jen’s word are also inspiring me this year.

I’d love to hear your word of the year. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

Want to learn how to Build Better Habits? Join me on Mondays in February at It’s All Yoga.

Registration is open.

 

Building Better Habits A 4-week Series with Tami Hackbarth

Live Well Women’s Retreats 2016 are in the works! Get yourself on the interest list to be the first to know all the details, discounts and destinations.

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Self-care Gift Guide aka Gifts Worth Giving Yourself

Happy New Year, friends! I have put together a little self-care gift guide for you just in case you have some gift cards burning a hole in your pocket.

gift guide

MY TRIED AND TRUE SELF-CARE GIFTS

Dawn simulating alarm clock. It wakes you up gradually like the sun coming up. It puts you to sleep gradually like the sun going down. This thing has made me realize how much light rules my life and how much I hate waking up to loud noises in the dark. If you want to become a morning person and actually feel good when you wake up, try this. I can’t think of a single item that has changed my life more.

Sleep mask + ear plugs – Sleep is the number one predictor of sanity in my life, so I take it pretty seriously and do what it takes to make sure I get some good sleep. Friends mock my sensory deprivation tank, but to them I say, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 White noise machine. We got one a few years ago for our kid and now I can’t sleep without one. Counter intuitive to make your sleep environment noisy, but it totally works! The ear plugs cancel the unpredictable noises and the white noise creates predictability. Have I ever told you about my sleep struggles? Well, this combo has helped me get the most restful sleep of my life. You can also download a white noise app on your phone.

Headspace meditation subscription. Regular meditation helps keep my head from talking to me while I am trying to sleep. This is one of the best investments I’ve ever made in my health.

Yoga bolster + eye pillow. My body craves rest and these tools help me give myself what I actually need. My home yoga practice really took off when I got the right props to help me. If I had to choose from all my props, I’d choose these over all else.

NEW SELF-CARE GIFTS FOR 2016

FitBit Charger HR. I might be the biggest data dork in the world. I am so excited to keep track of my sleep and my steps I can hardly stand it. Now if only I could get used to wearing it. I feel like a cat with a collar.

Hot Girls Pearls. Stasia (my personal stylist and favorite Vermont-ian) told me about these when we worked together last year. My big dilemma is I am made of fire and where I live feels like the surface of the sun 8 months a year which leaves me feeling homicidal instead of adorable – enter cooling pearls. I can’t wait to try them out!

Light Therapy Box. If the Pacific Northwest taught me one thing, it is I am a delicate flower when it comes to light. Turns out I am a bit of a sunflower and without a constant source of light, I get a bit of the depressions. A bunch of friends have been using them with great success.

Have you tried any of these? What are your favorite self-care gifts?

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

PS: Interested in my new series Intro to Happiness? Join us at It’s All Yoga Mondays in January (under the WORKSHOPS tab).

january happiness our behavior matters

Wanna join the Intro to Happiness party, but sadly live outside the Sacramento area? Send me an email – tami underscore hackbarth at hotmail and I will add you to the interest list. If enough people raise their out-of-town-hands I will put together a class online. AND IT WILL ROCK!

 

Intro to Happiness

Dear Friend,

2015 has been a year of great learning for me: how to live with loss, how to parent a preschooler, how to prioritize self-care and how to be happy even when things aren’t going well (see that living with loss part up there).

The best thing I’ve learned this year?

happiness our behavior matters

Our behavior matters.

What we do every day contributes to our level of happiness and well being.

Science finally proves it!

For decades we’ve been told our level of happiness depends on our genes and our environment, but science is now showing that our behavior matters.

Even if we were born with a lower happiness level and experienced a lot of crappy things in life, we can still be happy. Not just happier than we were before, but like someone who was born happy.

I think we can all agree that this is great news!

Back in September, I had the opportunity to hang with Oprah and friends. That day I was introduced to a fast talking Harvard guy named Shawn Achor. You can meet him here if you’d like.

Shawn studies happiness and he has uncovered what many people have known for years: our behavior matters to our happiness and well being.

Why do I keep saying that?

Because it is within our control to change how we see the world. It is within our control to change how we feel in the world. There is scientific evidence to show how our behavior can train our brains to help us be happier.

Who doesn’t want to be happier?

Shawn’s books and talks are all full of excellent information about how to be happier and the science behind it.

If you are in Sacramento and you’d like to learn more about the science behind happiness and some simple techniques for sparking happiness in yourself and to your loved ones, please join me Monday nights in January at It’s All Yoga.

It is my intention to build a happiness community in Sacramento and to have our happiness grow outward. We’ll come together to learn some of the science and to put some happiness techinques into practice each week in order to jump start our own happiness.

If you’d like to learn more on your own or live out of town – check out Shawn’s website.

Please let me know what you think in the comments.

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

Restoration Not Resolutions 2016

Hey, friend!

I wanted to make sure you knew that registration for my New Year’s Day restorative yoga + word of the year workshop at It’s All Yoga — Restoration Not Resolutions 2016 — has opened.

If you already know you want to register now – click HERE.

*BONUS! The first 6 to sign up for this workshop get a 30 minute coaching session with me to bring that word into your life in 2016 {$75 value!} – ONLY 2 bonuses left!

In the past, many people have returned and brought friends, so I’m reaching out really early to make sure you secure your spot.

restoration not resolutions 2016 writing tea

So, how DO you want 2016 to feel?

In Restoration Not Resolutions, we start the afternoon with a super restorative, quiet, gentle yoga session. We take a small break with cookies and tea before diving into choosing a touchstone word of the year. I bring some thought provoking questions, you reflect and journal.

The workshop is 3.5 hours – long enough it feels a bit like a retreat – and short enough to be able to sleep in your own bed that night comforted by knowing you are starting 2016 with intention.

Here are the details:
Restoration Not Resolutions
It’s All Yoga
January 1, 2016
2:00-5:30 pm

  • Limit 20 people (this workshop sells out every year!)
  • $75 early pricing before 12/15
  • Early*BONUS! The first 6 to sign up for this workshop get a 30 minute coaching session with me to bring that word into your life in 2016 {$75 value!}
  • $95 after 12/16

You will need to bring:

  • Your favorite comfortable stretchy outfit (cozy pajamas perhaps) including warm socks.
  • Any yoga props you have: a mat, blankets, bolsters, eye pillows (we have everything you need, so these are your favorites).
  • Somewhere to write your ideas on how you want to feel in the new year: journal, loose leaf paper.
  • Your favorite writing tool: pen, mechanical pencil, sharpies, water colors…

We’ll provide:

  • A relaxing and refreshing restorative yoga practice.
  • Yoga props.
  • Tea and dairy free treats.
  • Writing exercises to inspire intention setting for 2016.
  • A supportive community.

If you’d like to secure your place in 2016 Restoration Not Resolutions, click HERE. In order to claim your FREE 30 minute BONUS coaching session, be sure to be one of the first 6 people signed up.

Past Restoration Not Resolutions participants have said:

— Once I saw that I was going to be out of town on vacation, I made plans to come home early to participate.​ I felt it was too good of an opportunity to miss! – SG

 I had never before done a word of the year and came out with a fairly clear picture of how I wanted the year to unfold.  I am opening my own business this year and so as any fear or negating self-talk comes up, I remind myself of my word and it helps to quell my fears & put me back on track. –CC

To register now – click HERE.

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

Who are your Marble Jar Friends?

Remember when Oprah was my new best friend? Well, she’s really trying to be yours too. The entire day of speakers from the Super Soul Sessions is now online and available to watch for free!

During this extra busy and emotionally taxing holiday season, I invite you to watch Dr. Brene Brown’s talk entitled The Anatomy of Trust. In it she gives the seven components necessary for a trusting relationship. Be sure to watch until the end because she includes a twist.

who are your marble jar friends

In the meantime, I would love to hear about your Marble Jar Friends – who they are, how they earn marbles in your life and what you learned about trust from Brene.

Please leave a comment and let me know.

Sending you lots of compassion and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

By the way, the Live Well Women’s Retreat was totally relaxing + magical so we’re doing another one in the spring, if you want to get the scoop + early bird prices sign up HERE.

Oprah is My New BFF

I spent the day with Oprah last month. That may not be a big deal for you, but I am a huge fan of her show Super Soul Sunday and her magazine and her most current work.

As if spending the day with Oprah wasn’t already awesome enough, Brene Brown (of thebest TED talk in the history of life), Liz Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) and a whole bunch of other amazing speakers were going to be there too. It was set up to be kinda like a TED for personal development. In other words, I’m all over that biz.

This isn’t a humble brag (well, sort of… I mean how cool is that?), but more I want to share the story of how that day even came to be.

Have you always wondered how people end up doing cool things? I know I do! It always seemed so elusive. What are they doing differently?

How do people end up in the audience of their favorite shows?
How do people end up front row center at rock shows?
How do people make these things happen?

For me, spending the day with Oprah came to be because I kept saying YES to what I wanted – even though it would have been “easier” to say NO.

The first yes was very small: liking Super Soul Sunday on Facebook. Easy peezy.

The next yes was raising my hand when they called for audience members. <–You’d think this one would have been easy, but that’s when my NO button kept flashing. Say yes to this was surprisingly hard, guys.

Everything kept pointing to saying NO. Because saying YES meant suspending my current reality of full time caregiver to a preschooler who at that point hadn’t even returned to school, that I am a teacher spouse two weeks into the school year and living 378 miles from where the event would happen. Not to mention having a zero dollar budget for spontaneous events and who really does this kind of stuff anyway?

Even though NO seemed like the logical answer, I said YES anyway.

I figured if I kept saying yes it would either work out or it wouldn’t. The tickets to the event were free, so I’d only need lodging, transportation and the full cooperation of my entire family.

No biggie, right?

I decided to keep saying yes until I was forced to say NO.

I wanted to see what would happen when I took things one step at a time. What if I just kept saying yes?

The long and short of it, is I kept saying YES and asking for what I wanted.

On my personal Facebook, I asked for a place to stay in LA. Within 5 minutes of posting, a friend volunteered a guest room and parking spot within 15 minutes of the venue. – CHECK

I asked my friend (also a mama to littles under 5) to come with me and she offered to drive. – CHECK

I asked my husband to take one for the team and handle 36 hours of solo parenting during one of the busiest times of the year (which is a huge deal and I THANK YOU, sweetheart!) <– he said YES.– CHECK

i said yes

Here’s the thing I keep learning over and over:

When I ask for what I want, a lot of the time I get it.

If I don’t ask for what I want, I just get resentful.

What do you want to say yes to, but maybe a head full of noes is telling you can’t have it? What if you said YES and worked out the details later?

Sending you lots of compassion and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

LIVE-WELL Women's Retreat

Live Well Women’s Retreat

You. + Us.
4 days + 3 nights
All the regular awesome retreat stuff + ONE on ONE personalized self-care coaching.

Hit reply on this message for questions and to register. A $400 non refundable deposit saves your place.

Only 2 spots left!
{1 spot in the dorm and 1 semi private room}

An Experiment in Vulnerability.

A while back I wrote a post about asking for what I want and how that small act has drastically improved my life with very little effort.

Little effort except the part about opening up some vulnerability in relationships. Asking for help puts us in the position of being real and not hiding behind the curated life we show in person and on social media.

It can feel a little scary to need help or to ask for something we really, really want. By asking for help, we expose the tender bits of ourselves.

And you know what? Sometimes we get hurt. And that sucks. Like whoa.

But sometimes people are so remarkably kind and generous and wonderful we end up wishing we would have asked for what really wanted and/or needed a long time ago.

This is a chance I am willing to take.

I am ready to be vulnerable.

I am ready to ask you for something because it is what I want and/or need.

Next month I am hosting my very first self-care retreat at a beautiful place with a really good friend.

LIVE-WELL

I want to fill this retreat with awesome like-minded women.

What I mean by that is I want to go on vacation with other cool women:

  • who want to put their own self-care first (or at least on the list) or who want to learn how to do that!
  • who want to chill out and chick chat by the pool
  • who want to spend some time reading by the pool (I’m starting to notice a theme…)
  • who might want to go on an easy hike.
  • or take a nap.
  • who want to relax on purpose because there is no where to go and nothing to do (my favorite)
  • who want to be with other women who want to step off the treadmill of daily life to think about what they actually want in their life.

The good news is we already have some awesome women signed up and ready to go.

The best news is we have space for YOU to come too! 

The time to put our own self-care on the list is NOW. We have the place. We are gathering a community. All we need is YOU.

I really want you to come retreat with me.

Please click here for all the details and then shoot me an email if you have questions or want to set up a Skype to talk it through.

With lots of compassion and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

Want to Retreat With Me?

Dear Friend,

A quick post today because tomorrow I take off to Portland for a grief retreat with my BFF. It’s part of my Summer of Intentionality and I’ll share more about that later.

If you’ve ever wanted to go on a retreat, but didn’t know who or where or what, I’d love to have you join me when I host a retreat.

would you like to retreat with me

Click the photo above or here and I will send you information about upcoming retreats. As someone who raises her hand for this information this insures that you have first access to early registration and in some cases really exclusive bonuses.

Here’s a post I wrote a few years ago called 5 Reasons to Go on a Yoga Retreat. I can think of about 36 more now that I am a mama and in my 40s:

— someone else cooking delicious healthy meals for me three times a day
— SLEEP
— relaxing time with my girlfriends
–recharging my batteries
— learning how to live the life I want
–taking the time to discover how I want to feel in my life

I’d love for you to join me on retreat so be sure to sign up NOW because I’ve already got a pretty exclusive retreat in the works!

If you have questions, hit reply here and ask away.

If you know anyone else who you know would like to join YOU on a retreat, be sure to forward this message on to them.

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

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Other posts you might enjoy:

Summer of Intentionality 2015: What I am reading, learning and doing

Looking for something to read?

People Say the Nicest Things

The simplest thing

Dear Friend,

Popping in today to share my most recent startling discovery. Simple and life-changing.

First a confession: I haven’t been asking for what I want and need most. And not surprisingly, I haven’t been getting what I want and need most.
Until recently, I have been ignoring my needs and desires in order to get along with other people and to not to appear to be too much trouble. Turns out, I am a secret people pleaser (The HORROR!).

Because I haven’t been asking for or getting what I really need after lots of interactions with people, I felt exhausted and frazzled (serious introvert here) and sometimes resentful because why couldn’t my people see I was suffering?

Apparently, I have been a bit of a martyr as well despite how much I claim to hate that in others.

Well, I’m here to tell you I have changed my ways for the better. I’m hoping you can learn from my mistakes.

It all started when my mom died and I realized I couldn’t do this grief thing on my own. I need to accept the help that was being offered and to sit with myself and gently ask what I needed and then ask for help from those that had offered.
What an eye-opening experience!

People came through for me and helped me when I needed it most. So many people commented that they were so happy I was asking for help. They felt good for offering and having their offers accepted and I felt great knowing I was nurtured and nourished by those around me.

Since then I’ve been practicing asking for help on lots of things.

I say practice because that’s what it is for me, a practice.

You see, I have a really LOUD inner critic (think Merle Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada) who thinks I should be able to do everything on my own. Even things I have never done before and have no interest in becoming proficient in… which means I have been wasting a ton of time on figuring things out instead of just asking someone else to help.

I’m not against hard work, but I am decidedly against wasting time. And wasting generosity!

This not asking for help has really gotten in the way of my work, my parenting, my life – so this year I’ve decided to be courageous and ask for what I want and need most.

Sometimes that looks like delegating a task to someone else, sometimes that looks like sending a clarifying email instead of frantically searching a website for an answer myself and sometimes that looks like accepting offers when presented.

For example: On a recent trip to visit my folks in Minnesota which involved solo travel with my four year old and driving across the state (all still in a bit of a grief fog) – I decided to try something different this time.

I decided to ask for help.

Sure, I probably could have handled every detail for the trip on my own, done all the child-minding, nighttime parenting, socializing etc. But I feared it would leave me in a state of exhausted, anxiety-filled hell with a generous helping of resentment.

This time, I wanted to see if I could do it differently – connect with my family and still take care of my body, mind and spirit.

So I asked for help.

Days before we left, I sent my folks a simple text asking for help finding a rental car.

Within hours, it was handled.

We were off to a great start!

A couple of days later, after I had spent some time thinking about what kind of time I would need in order to do my daily self-care, I sent another text asking if someone could watch my daughter so I could get things done.

Moments later a reply: YES!

you get in life what you have the courage to ask for

The practice of asking for what you want and most need starts with knowing what you want and most need. For me this required getting quiet and asking what would help make each situation better and then listening for the answer. Armed with that information, I could ask for and get the help I need.

Two books that have helped me better understand asking and receiving are:

The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen

Playing Big by Tara Mohr

Oprah has it right when she said, “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”

What about you, friend? What will you ask for?

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

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Other posts you might enjoy:

Summer of Intentionality 2015: What I am reading, learning and doing

Looking for something to read?

People Say the Nicest Things

Summer of Intentionality: How To Make the Most of Your Summer

Dear Friend,

Summer is upon us. I don’t know about you, but I am ready for some fun. So far, 2015 – WHOA.

Each year I write three lists I call my Summer of Intentionality. I totally stole this idea from Rosie. She explains the background of this awesome tradition here. If you have older kids definitely go read the background post because you can get them started on their own Summers of Intentionality and never hear how they are bored again.

I started making Summer of Intentionality lists when I was still a classroom teacher because I found nothing feels worse than getting to the end of summer break and having nothing to show for it, except a lot of time having fallen down internet rabbit holes.

Spending my time in an intentional way helps me not only to be more productive than I ever thought possible, but puts fun and personal development right at the forefront of my life.

Plus who doesn’t want a To Do list full of things you actually want to do?

Without further ado, I present: The Summer of Intentionality aka How To Make the Most of Your Summer

summer of intentionality

2015 Summer of Intentionality

To Read:

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen

True Refuge by Tara Brach

The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte

Playing Big by Tara Mohr

Fat Girl Walking by Brittany Gibbons

The Bright Side of Disaster: a novel by Katherine Center

Everyone is Beautiful: a novel by Katherine Center

Get Lucky: a novel by Katherine Center

The Lost Husband: a novel by Katherine Center

Editor’s note: I read a lot. I get my books from the library. I make time several times a day to read for a few minutes. I get most of my reading done in 15 minute increments. Yes, I schedule my reading time because if I didn’t, even though it is my absolute favorite thing to do and has been my favorite hobby since I was a young child, I wouldn’t do it.

To Learn:

Website redo.

Strength train (want to join me?)

To Do List of AWESOME:

Eat breakfast outside

Read in the hammock

Bake a pie

Make coconut milk ice cream

Picnic dinner in the park with other families

See Rhett Miller and Old97s

Stand up paddle boarding

Visit Bay Area grandparents

Visit Minnesota grandparents

Visit Mendocino County grandparents

Tahoe with college friends (x 2)

Hike in San Francisco

Hike in Oakland

Marin Headlands

Take a photo on or near the Golden Gate Bridge

Visit at least one new to me Bay Area beach

Beach days at Stinson

Ride steam train in Tilden Park

Grief Retreat in Portland (yes, a grief retreat…more on that later)

Hug huge redwood trees to celebrate our 20th anniversary

Take a restorative yoga class (or five) at It’s All Yoga.

What about you, friend? Want to have a summer of intentionality?

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

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Other posts you might enjoy:

Summer of Intentionality of the past

Minimalist Parenting (good ideas – NOT just for parents!)

People Say the Nicest Things

The Sassy Agnostic Girl’s Guide to Loss and Grief Resources

Dear Friend,

Recently I shared the two key components for living through loss – read about it here. {No, really please go read that post now. This information is for NOW not later.}.

Three months into the loss of my mom and I’ve found some resources that have helped me tremendously. The crazy thing about losing someone you love is that each loss is super personal – what helps one person, doesn’t help someone else.

As someone who doesn’t practice any organized religion, I was happy to find these practical and spiritual resources to help me through the first few months.

Here’s a list of what has really helped me the last few months:

sassy agnostic girls guide to loss and grief

Books I loved:

The Five Ways We Grieve by Susan Berger. I devoured this in the days following my mom’s death. I am an information seeker by nature and this book comforted my classifying and categorizing brain like no other.

Broken Open: How Difficult TImes Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser. Either we stay stuck in not wanting anything to change (like that is even possible) or we really let ourselves get down with our pain in order to let it change us. I love this book so much I want to marry it.

The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve by Amanda Owen – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Grief is hard work and is best not done alone. It is so hard to accept help when we need it. This book can help.

Books I Haven’t Finished Yet But Came to Me HIGHLY Recommended and Will BE Finished By :

Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach

True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart also by Tara Brach

In person support group

Here in Sacramento we are lucky to have free and religion-free drop in grief support. Check for hospice or grief resources in your area if you think you might want some support. — I am a fairly private introverted person, so I was surprised by how much I wanted to attend a support group.

Just 12 days after my mom died, I went to my first session. I was extremely comforted by being in the company of others who had also experienced loss. For the first few months, I only wanted to talk to people who had experienced loss. I plan to keep attending drop in sessions and I may also go to a parent loss group as well.

Most Helpful BLOG in the entire world:

What’s Your Grief 101 –  helpful posts include:

and about a gazillion more helpful posts (where you don’t find out you are crazy, just grieving…)

What’s Your Grief Podcast – grief support for those who want to listen

People, I am a READER. Sometimes it is way easier to listen instead of reading because you are simply too tired to be bothered to read. Did I mention how exhausting grief can be?

Which brings me to the self-care piece of grief.

Holy cow, grieving people, SLEEP.
Nap.
And sleep some more.

Also practice calming things like meditation and restorative yoga.

Grief is hard work and you don’t have to do it alone. .

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

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Other posts you might enjoy:

Two Key Components of Living Through Loss

Minimalist Parenting (good ideas – NOT just for parents!)

People Say the Nicest Things

Two Key Components of Living Through Loss

Dear Friend,

Thank you for the outpouring of support over the last month. I’ve been blown away by the level of empathy, sympathy and compassion that has been shown me and my family during our time of grief.

I want to share some of the things that have helped me immensely in dealing with the loss of my mom.

But before I get into the specific resources available to support people in grief, I’d like to address two areas which are key to the process: self-care and the ability to receive.

Here’s the thing, at some point we will all experience great loss. If we are capable of human connection (which we are unless we’re sociopaths). {Please click the links. They contain super helpful information for FREE}…

Bottom line: we all face the loss of our most beloved people at some point. I don’t say that to be a downer, I am just trying to share what I’ve learned.

When my mom first had her stroke last January I reached out to my community and asked for help. Specifically I wanted to know what people who had been through aging parents caregiving did in order to take care of themselves.

The resounding response was that they didn’t take care of themselves – they ran themselves ragged, ate poorly, didn’t exercise, their sleep suffered, they gained weight, they were out of their mind with worry…

Every single one told me to did it differently then they had. These caregivers wished that they had taken better care of themselves because caregiving is hard and grieving is hard.

Every single person told me to really delve deep into my own self-care. Deep down I knew that was the answer, so I really took that advice to heart and now I am passing that on to you.

Let me be clear now:

self care is imperative

Your self-care is imperative to being able to really be there for the people you love most.

That whole put your oxygen mask on first thing is no joke.

We can kinda fake our self-care in the good times. We can kinda wing our our health, happiness and sanity.

But when shit goes down, if you don’t have a real self-care program in place, it ain’t gonna be pretty. Even with my plan in place, I still got bronchitis four times during that year of my mom’s stroke.

The second key part of the process is your ability to receive.

Sounds kinda bonkers, but I’m telling you grief is hard work. The kind of hard work that you can not do alone.

The first few days after my mom died, I was struck with how much I was going to need to rely on the kindness of others in order to get through this process.

The first order of business was feeding my family. I was pretty numb and not really worried about feeding myself, but I knew my people (and I) would need nourishment. As I sat in my chair in the livingroom I wondered how that was going to happen because truth be told, I couldn’t be bothered to leave that chair.
I was stuck.

So rather than make myself do something I wasn’t sure I was able to do (walk to the kitchen), I reached out to some wonderful local friends with little kids and asked them to please make some extra of whatever they were feeding their families and to bring us some.

Of course they did. They are part of my mama tribe, but the point is I had to know how to ask for what I needed and know who to ask. And then I had to be able to receive the gifts.

This last bit is crucial: you must be able to receive the kindness and support of others.

One of the things I did immediately when people started asking me what they could do to help my family was to make a list in my phone of who offered to do things and generally what they offered to do. I usually did this right in front of them because at that point concentration and memory were not my strong suit.

Every single one of my lovely people said they were glad I was taking their offer seriously enough to make note of it. I plan to take each and every one of them up on their offer to help. Grief takes way longer than one would hope.

In the months leading up to my mom’s death, I read a very powerful book on receiving called The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen. I HIGHLY recommend everyone read this as part of their grief bootcamp — preferably way before you need it!

So remember – grief is hard work and you don’t have to do it alone. Self-care and the ability to receive help are crucial in the grief process (and perhaps the secret to a healthy, happy sane life.

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

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My Word of 2015
19 Tips for Taking Care of Yourself While Also Taking Care of the People You Love (You Don’t Have to Do All of Them To Feel Better)

Life Lesson From My Mom

Grief and Coming Out of Hiding

Dear Friend,

Many of you already know, but I wanted to share some really tough news: on March 13th my mom died.

Exactly one month after she entered hospice.

January 2014 my mom had a massive stroke leaving her partially paralyzed and thus I began my long journey toward testing all this self-care business in the real world sense.

Since I got the news that Friday at noon, I have been experiencing many physical reactions to losing someone I love, taking exquisite care of myself and trying to still be a present parent for my 4 year old daughter.

As you might imagine, this is the hardest thing I have ever experienced.

At some point I will share some of the lessons I have learned from my grieving and how that relates to my teaching and offerings.

In the mean time, if you are curious about some of my thoughts on grief and how to be with people who are experiencing profound loss, I invite you to read Michelle’s post on coming Out of Hiding.

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 –  get email updates (it’s FREE).

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My Word of 2015

19 Tips for Taking Care of Yourself While Also Taking Care of the People You Love (You Don’t Have to Do All of Them To Feel Better)

Life Lesson From My Mom

10 Things I Loved in January 2015

Dear Friend,

I started this month feeling a bit out of sorts because new starts and dark days work counter in my head and in nature. But, as always, when I looked for places that shined, I found them.

For the last few months I have taken a break from doing these 10 Things I Love reflection posts and truth be told, I didn’t like it. So I am back!

I started doing these reflection posts after being inspired by Rosie’s posts. Taking time each month to reflect on the good things that happen each day/week/month has done wonders for my ability to actually stop and notice the good stuff.

I hope you find some useful tips, books to read and service providers to love in here. I would love to hear your favorites, so send me a message or leave me a comment and tell me all about what you loved in January.

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

PPS – If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

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Links To Love:

Books I Love: Edward Tulane and The Dirty Cowboy

Will Yoga Help With….

Downtime Is NOT Optional

_________________________________________________________________

10 things jan 2015

Things I/We Did

1.     Restoration Not Resolutions and choose my word of the year. My absolute favorite way to start the new year: in deep relaxation, then reflecting and thinking about how I want to feel in the new year. I adore the people that come to this workshop each year – some repeats and others new. We always laugh, cry and find kindred spirits.

Save the date 1/1/16 –  if you want to do this workshop next year!

2.       Hosted a brunch for local friends. Trying to be social at the dinner hour just doesn’t work for our family. We are early birds and go to bed way early, so if we want to see friends, we do it during the day. So right after new year’s we hosted a brunch for some local friends. We served this and it was delicious (just add WAY more pumpkin spice than you think is necessary and then double it – I did like 3 tablespoons).

2B.      Attended a housewarming party – AT NIGHT. This is epic. Have I ever told you about my party aversion? What about my aversion to leaving the house at night? Well, I threw caution to the wind and got myself over to my friends’ housewarming/birthday party that included karaoke (stone cold sober for me <–badass) and Cards Against Humanity. Needless to say, my sides and cheeks hurt the next day from all the laughing.

3.      I taught restorative yoga to a whole lot of parents of two year olds AKA the people that are probably more tired than anyone else on Earth. Not going to lie, it was amazing to watch their tired faces rest.
The best quote from after the class:

DUDE, I can *totally* do that kind of yoga! I thought we were going to be stretching or something. I can LAY AROUND!

Exactly my thoughts!

I love my job!

4.      Family Field Trips: both my husband and I have a deep need for solitude, so we spend a lot of time one on one with our kid so the other parent can get in their solo time. That makes the time we spend together as a family is pretty special and our daughter LOVES it. This month we went to Aviators for breakfast to watch the airplanes, to look at art at the Crocker and we asked for and received babysitting time on Saturday afternoons which make all this togetherness possible!

5.      Connected in person by showing up for friends. January was full of loss for my friends and their loved ones. I used to think showing up for people had to be a dramatic event, but really sitting in someone’s backyard and quietly holding their hand can be just what is needed. I keep learning over and over again, showing up is important to connecting to your people.

Products and Services I Dug:

6.      Genius Bar at the Arden Fair Apple Store: long story short, my iPhone battery died. I made an appointment and walked out with a new phone no questions asked. Are Apple products mind-blowingly expensive? Yes, especially for this Depression era grandma. But with customer service like that, I can feel confident in my purchase.

Also: bonus points for the wonderful people that work the store and manage to never make me feel like an idiot. Not one time. Those people are amazing!

7.     Crocker Art Museum: our preschool class was invited to do a docent led tour meant for little people. I was sceptical, but it was well done. The group size was tiny – just 3 kids and their caregivers – but man those tour guides worked their hearts out helping the kids connect to the pieces they were viewing. It was so well done, our family returned later that week. I highly recommend taking preschool age kids to the Crocker! Be sure to visit the TOT LAND – the kid’s playing space in the bottom floor. It is set up for fun!

Bonus: Sunshine Yoga and IKEA set me up for restorative props for 10 people. Now just to find some people who want to host a restorative retreat… is that YOU?

Books I Can Highly Recommend:

8.     Yes, Please by Amy Poehler. If nothing else, read the Justine Timberlake chapter and cry from laughing so hard.

9.   Yoga for Emotional Balance by Bo Forbes. Suffer from anxiety and depression? Mentally and physically exhausted? Bo’s got your back.

PS – she recommends restorative yoga and a lot of exhaling. Every.Damn.Day. Can I get a holla?

10.     Landline by Rainbow Rowell. I didn’t immediately love the characters and yet I was determined to find out what happened. Spending time with some flawed fictional people has helped me work on loving the flawed real people in my life. I love books.

+++++

So what are you loving lately? I’m always on the lookout for what is delicious in food, drink, fashion, and life. Let me know your favorites in the comments or write a post of your own and link back here.

Image Source: My Instagram!

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My Word of 2015

Dear Friend,

Each year I choose a word of the year. It started while I was teaching elementary school as a way to reflect upon and then change my teaching practice.

Back then I would return to school the Monday after the last day of school to clean my classroom and put the school year to rest. Filling the recycling bin with leftover assignments from the year and taking down bulletin boards kept my hands busy while my mind quietly reflected on the good, the bad and the ugly from the year.

Usually by the time my classroom was clean and put away for the summer, I would have decided where I wanted to focus my attention in the following year.

At the beginning of each year I would hold my word as a touchstone. Each day I would refer back to it and when situations came up where my word was relevant, I would act accordingly.

The year that everyone’s parents yelled at me, led me to not to take it personally the next year. That meant when I felt defensive about something I would exhale. A lot. And I would remember it wasn’t about me. Even when people blew sunshine up my skirt, I would remember it wasn’t about me.

The year where I was crippled by anxiety because I was unsure where I would be the following year. I decided to say yes in order to flow with the uncertainty. That looked a lot like faith and trust and letting go.

As I stepped away from the classroom to focus on raising my daughter and teaching yoga I continued choosing words to guide my years. I started using Rosie’s process to guide me to my words: connection and nurture being the most recent.

Beginning in 2013 I started teaching this word choosing process as part of The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher program and in my Restoration Not Resolutions New Year’s Day workshop.

If you’ve come to Restoration Not Resolutions, you’ve heard me talk about how part of my process in choosing my own word of the year involves thinking through the “shadow” aspect of my potential words. When I talk about the shadow I’m talking about the not so shiny, nice parts of a chosen word.

Take my word last year, nurture. Definition: care for and encourage the development of. Seems really positive, right? Who wouldn’t want encouragement and growth? Well, I’m here to let you know, that these words can really come to life and give you lots of practice with them in unexpected ways.

The year of nurture my mom had a paralyzing stroke. I love my mom, but our relationship is complicated and she lives 1200 miles away. Nurture took on an unexpected twist through this because it lead me to deeper self-care for myself, learning to accept help from friends and reaching out and leaning on family.

Nurture became a powerful force in my life last year. And I have to say when I look back at all the words I’ve chosen over the years, each and every one has played an important part of shaping who ultimately I have become.

In other words, I don’t choose my words lightly!

I jokingly refer to “auditioning words” in December and January these days. What I mean by that is throughout the year words come to me. I add them to a list of potential words for the next year and sort of meditate on them and how they could play out if I choose to take them on the following year.

Words that made the list for potential 2015 words include:

  • Play – because let’s be honest I don’t need any help with work.
  • Vulnerable – because I spent a LOT of 2014 feeling vulnerable and it was decidedly uncomfortable. Clearly, I need more practice. My girl, Brene talks a lot about how vulnerability is the birth place of creativity and innovation. And connection.
  • Adventure – because our girl is growing up and I’ve got travel fever and I was thinking of this as being adventurous and trying new (scary) things.
  • Compassion – because it is how we really connect to each other and how we can forgive ourselves.
  • Value – because I underestimate mine.
  • Seen/visible – because I’ve been hiding parts of myself. From you, from me, from the world… and it’s time to stop.

word of 2015

Luminous
Adjective

Definition: full of or shedding light; bright or shining, especially in the dark.

Going through the whole 20 question process, I feel like this word chose me. The part that sealed the deal for me is especially in the dark. The ability to keep shining even when things are grim, sad and dark is calling to me this year with the uncertainty of my mom’s health and the recent deaths of many of my loved ones’ loved ones.

I can’t wait to see how luminous comes to life in 2015.

I would love to hear from you about your word of the year, about MY chosen word of the year or about anything else you’d like to connect with me about.

With much love and compassion,

Tami xoxo

Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 –  get email updates (it’s FREE).

Other Posts You Might Like:
Who I Am  (bonus video!)
A Short List of Things I HATE
Things I SUCK At

Think Self-Care Has to Take A Lot of Time? Think Again. (video)

Dear Friend,

A quick video reminder that self-care doesn’t have to be an entire yoga class, require any money or take very much time. Either click here or on the photo for my quick tip on self-care.

Quick SelfCare Tip from Tami Hackbarth Teacher Goes Back to School/It's All YogaI would love to hear from you, so hit reply and let me know what you think!
With lots of love and compassion,

Tami xoxo

Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 –  get email updates (it’s FREE).

Other Posts You Might Like:
2014: A Year in Review
Yoga Manifesto: REST
8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Lessons Might Work for YOU

Did Someone Say Hibernate?

Dear Friend,

I do love a new year, but it sure feels like it comes at the wrong time of year. Doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it make more sense if the new year came in the spring instead of the dead of winter?

May I be honest for a moment?

December exhausts me. (If you want to read why I included the link).
Now that it is January all I want to do is hibernate.

hibernateYou too?

I’m pretty sure it is nature.

Look outside. Everything is dormant for the season. The trees don’t care about the holidays, or birthdays or workshops. The trees know it is the quiet season.

They know that in order to be ready for the spring – the time of rebirth and growth – they need to rest NOW.

Makes sense, right?

Let’s act like the trees: quiet down, go a bit dormant.

Let’s REST for a while. At least until the sun starts coming up a little earlier and the staying around a little longer.

january the month of restBut, but, but… WHAT ABOUT ALL THE NEW BEGINNINGS?!?

We’ve got plenty of time to grow and make change… in the spring… like the trees.
In an effort to offer myself some kindness and grace during this season of quiet, dormancy and rest, I am spending the whole month of January resting, reviewing, reflecting and ultimately deciding how I wanted the new year to feel.

In other words, I am going to live what I have been teaching.

Below is a list of the resources I like to use in January to help set me up for an intentional year. Please feel free to use them as well.

Jen Hoffman from Inspired Home Office writes beautifully about January. Please read here and here to see where my inspiration for a slow, graceful beginning of the year comes from.

Rosie Molinary’s Guide to Holding a Personal Summit

Rosie Molinary’s SPARK: Practices to Start This New Beginning

Rosie Molinary’s Guide to Choosing A Word of the Year

It’s never too late to start having the life that you want. Take an hour or two this week (even in 15 minute intervals) and hold your own personal summit and choose a word for the year.

I would love to hear from you, so let me know what you think.

xo,
Tami

Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 –  get email updates (it’s FREE).

Other Posts You Might Like:
2014: A Year in Review
Yoga Manifesto: REST
8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Lessons Might Work for YOU

8 Reasons Private Yoga Lessons Might Work for You

8 reasons private yoga sessions might work for you

Dear Friend,

I recently started offering private yoga sessions to women all over the country because they wanted to figure out how to feel better at the end of their work days. Some of them travel often for work, some work endless hours at a computer in their home office and others have special circumstances which make group yoga classes not a good fit for them.

What all my clients have in common is that they are looking to do something different in order to get a different result. That’s right, something different!

What I offer is that something different. I offer women customized gentle and restorative yoga practices that they can do at home on their own time frame. I teach people how to help themselves feel better than they ever have at the end of their work day. I teach people how to take breaks, work more productively and get more done without working harder.

Not sure about if private yoga sessions are for you or haven’t ever thought about it as an option?

8 Reasons Private Yoga Might Work For YOU

1. You absolutely LOVE yoga, but never find time for your favorite studio class.

2. You moved away from your beloved yoga community and haven’t found a new yoga home (I offer sessions via Skype).

3. You really wish your teacher would focus on what’s going on just with you – you’re recovering from an injury or surgery, or would like to work a lot of hips or shoulders, but always seem to go to the neck and spine class.

4. You are totally new to yoga and feel intimidated about heading into a public class without some yoga experience.

5. You really want to practice yoga at home, on your own schedule, with our own priorities. And you’d love to figure out how exactly to set up a sustainable home practice.

6. You can have the practice tailor made just for you. We can work on the poses you would like help with, we can work with meditation and/or breath work.

I specialize in working with beginners, people who need to relax via restorative yoga (everyone probably needs this more than they think) and people interested in a super gentle, forgiving, body-positive practice.

7. You have experienced a life change: a divorce, a death or illness in your family or circle of friends, had a baby, moved house or are generally feeling a little off center – yoga, especially restorative yoga can help.

8. You aren’t happy with how our body looks or feels or works and you’d like to make friends with yourself again.

If this sounds like you (or someone you know) be sure to email tami@itsallyoga.com.

If you still have questions for me about private yoga sessions, please send me a message at tami at itsallyoga.com.

Hope you are well.

With lots of love and compassion,

Tami xo

Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 –  get email updates (it’s FREE).

PS – If you find this helpful or know someone who would, please be sure to pass it on. Sharing is caring!

Other posts you might like:
FAQ about Restorative Yoga
Savasana: A Love Story

2014: A Year in Review

Dear Friend,

2014.

It was a YEAR. I started by taking the month of January to reflect on the previous year and then spent the rest of the year really putting my self-care practices to the test.

Looking through all these posts, I can, without a doubt, say I feel genuinely proud of the work I’ve put out in the world this year.

I hope you find something that helps make your life feel more healthy, happy and sane.

Please click that link over there to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 –  get email updates (it’s FREE).

Without further ado, here’s 2014 in review.

With lots of love and compassion,

Tami

xoxo

2014 a year in review

January 2014:

Looking Back in Order to Look Forward

2014 newsletter #1

2014 newsletter word of the year

February 2014:

Tips For Starting and Maintaining a Daily Meditation Practice

Tips for starting and stustaining a daily meditation practice tuesday tips

Permission to Rest (For As Long As It Takes to Feel Better)

stop light

19 Tips On Taking Care of Yourself While in the Middle of Taking Care of Those That You Love. Plus 6 Tips for Helping Others Who are In Need

taking care

10 Things I Loved In February 2014

uc davis arboretum

 March 2014

Simple Techniques For Adding Self-Care to An Already Over-Scheduled Life

self care timer

Want More Energy? Make Less Decisions.

SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA

Celebrate YOU.

it is your birthday

Featured Teacher Nikki Stern: Connecting Food and Mood

nikki stern featured teacher

10 Things I Loved in March 2014

10 things march

April 2014

 Removing Obstacles to Your Self-Care

obstacles to self-care

May 2014

The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher Home Study Program – self care isn’t just for teachers!

HHSTeacher_Color-1024x662

Books I Love

what i am reading

Please Introduce Yourself (and how can I best be of service?)

rest tami

Even Imperfect Self-Care Counts!

imperfect self care

June 2014

Summer of Intentionality Part 1: To READ

so many bookssummer of intentionality part one to read

Summer of Intentionality Part 2: To DO

summer of intentionality part two to do

Summer of Intentionality Part 3: To LEARN

summer laziness

10 Things I Loved in June 2014

10 things june 2014

July 2014

Links Worth Clicking Through

links i love summer 2014

5 Reasons to Go On A Yoga Retreat

5 reasons

9 Ways to Keep Your Cool This Summer (+ 12 More)

9 ways to cool it down summer

August 2014

Favorite 15 Minute Dinner (vegan + gluten free)

creamy vegan garlic sauce over pasta

10 Things I Loved In Summer 2014

10 things i loved summer 2014

September 2014

 Treat Yourself: 8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Sessions Might Work for You 

8 reasons private yoga sessions might work for you

Life Lesson From My Mom

Self_Care

TGBTS Cooks! Green Muffins (aka my girl’s birthday cupcakes)

green muffins

October 2014

Top 7 Podcasts of 2014

top 7 podcasts of 2014

Links Worth Clicking – Fall 2014

links i love fall 2014

All the Self-Care in the World Can’t Save You

all the self care in the world

November 2014

Can Your Smart Phone Improve Your Health?

can smart phone improve your health

December 2014

Restoration Not Resolutions the WHY behind my annual New Year’s Day workshop.

restoration not resolutions 2015 writing tea

Feel Lonely and Sad at the Holidays?

lonely sad holidays

Why Choose a Word of the Year? 

why choose a word of the year street

Why Choose a Word of the Year?

why choose a word of the year

Dear Friend,

Why choose a word for the year?

I choose a word each year because it helps to keep me focused on how I want to feel. It helps ground me in my own desires. It helps me to stick to my intention because sometimes I suffer from shiny object syndrome. It sets the tone for my year. And sometimes it breaks me open in very unexpected ways. (I’m looking at you, NURTURE).

Here are a bunch of my favorite writings about words of the year.

Why I Hated My Word of the Year from Create as Folk. SPOILER ALERT: it brought tears to my eyes.

My Word of the Year for 2014 from Be Your Own Beloved

From Vivienne: When I pick a pretty word, a gentle one that warms my heart, that feels calming to say aloud….I have a gentle year (which is usually oh so appreciated).

But when I pick a word that feels deeply uncomfortable to say aloud, let alone write about in a blog post, those are the words that change my life.  Those are the words that I need to choose to make transformations happen.

Choose One Word to Set the Tone for the Year from The Happiness Project /Gretchen Rubin

A Word to Guide The Way from Liz Lamoreux

A Word of the Year: A Practice also from Liz Lamoreux

If choosing a word for the year sounds like something you’d like to do and you’d like a gentle guide through a pretty simple process check out the link below for Restoration Not Resolutions.

If you’d like to try it on your own, check out this post from my girl, Rosie Molinary.

I hope you are well.

With lots of love and compassion,
Tami
xo

PS – If you know someone who would like this or other posts from TGBTS, please share.

Other posts you might like:

Look Back In Order to Look Forward

Treat Yourself: 8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Session Might Work For You

Sad and Lonely at the Holidays? You Are Not Alone.

sad lonely holidays

Dear Friend,

Recently a friend posted on Facebook urging others to remember that the holidays can be particularly difficult for people who have suffered loss. My dear friend lost both her parents in the last couple years and was explaining that she experiences those losses again and again over the holidays and around birthdays. She just wanted to remind everyone that the holiday season can feel particularly tender for her.

I was not only struck by her emotional honesty, but also how deeply what she said resonated with me. While I have been making my peace with the season (see below), I have quietly discovered that on the actual holiday day, I usually feel a bit sad, a bit lonely, a bit disappointed, a bit like an outsider looking in. I use the word quietly on purpose here because I am not overcome by these feelings, but I am just quietly observing them and letting them have their say.

In holidays past I used to let those feelings take up residency in my body from the day before Thanksgiving until well after the new year. Now I just watch what comes up and almost before I know it, the feelings pass. Until they come again. And if something sticks around a little longer – that’s ok because I know now that all feelings (well, everything) is temporary.

So, friend, I wish you the merriest of Christmases. And if you find yourself feeling lonely or sad for whatever reason, I want you to know you aren’t alone.

I hope you are well.

With lots of love and compassion,
Tami
xo

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

PS – If you know someone who would like this or other posts from TGBTS, please share.

Other posts you might like:

How Not to Lose Your Marbles During the Holidays

8 Self-Care Tips for the Holiday Season

How I Overcame the Holiday Humbug in 7 Steps

Look Back In Order to Look Forward

Treat Yourself: 8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Session Might Work For You

Life Lesson From My Mom

Love_Yourself

I tried so hard not to roll my eyes at my mom when she shared this bit of wisdom with me as a teenager.  In fact I’m pretty sure I almost pulled a muscle from trying not to roll my eyes in front of her. I didn’t want to be rude, but really.

What could my mom possibly know about life?

She is, well, my mom.

So on we went. She pretended not to notice the eye rolling and I pretended I was listening….

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

+++++

Recently I was lamenting that I wish someone had told me the secret to a happy, healthy life and it hit me.

Someone had.

My mom was right.

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

If you don’t love you – and treat yourself well – how will anyone else?

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

You may be saying, “of course I love myself! Who doesn’t?”

But really it comes down to this.

Self-care is a direct indicator to how much you love you.

  • If you aren’t making your own care a priority – are you really loving you?
  • If you are constantly exhausted from putting everyone’s needs before your own – are you really loving on you?
  • If you can’t remember the last time you felt rested, relaxed, refreshed, nourished, nurtured and abundant – are you really loving on you?

The secret to a healthy, happy life is self-care. The secret to loving your life is self-care. The secret to feeling loved and nurtured and nourished is, you guessed it, self-care.

Self_Care

Self-care matters because WE matter.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Of course.

Before I started taking care of myself, I mean really taking care of myself, I thought I was going to have to quit teaching – a job I absolutely love and believe is my calling – because I was so unhealthy, and unhappy.

I was working all the time, not making time for friends or family or fun. I was fueling myself on adrenaline, caffeine and sugar. I was skipping exercise and skimping on sleep – while suffering from massive anxiety and insomnia – just to keep my head above water. I thought I was doing the right thing because if you constantly feel behind, you just need to work longer and harder. Right?

Fast forward to a few years into the job. I was exhausted – physically and emotionally – and when my principal finally stepped in for an intervention of sorts — he asked me if I was happy being a teacher and my answer was to sob in his office. I knew the jig was up.

I had to change what I was doing.

Enter restorative yoga.

What is restorative yoga?

Restorative yoga can be thought of active relaxation. It is different from the yoga you’ve probably experienced before. The biggest difference is that in restorative yoga we lie down with blankets, bolsters, blocks, straps, sandbags, over chairs and make ourselves very comfortable for up to 30 minutes per pose.

Yep, we lie down and relax our bodies and minds. That’s the yoga.

In other words, probably the most difficult part of the class/practice is making it there on time or actually setting aside time to do it. Or not falling asleep. Or weeping because you can’t believe how tired you are.

If you can easily get down on the floor and up again, we’re golden. We get comfy on the floor and let the props do the work. Our job in restorative yoga is to relax the body and hopefully the mind will follow.

Other people may have a more technical explanation, but I feel like lying down with the purpose of relaxing the body and brain is a good way to put it.

People have asked why I get so much out of a practice that essentially looks like I’m laying on the floor quietly doing nothing.

It does seems silly. Until you do it for a while and you realize some things about yourself.

Here are the Top Five Things I’ve Learned About Myself By Doing Restorative Yoga — click over to the Arise and Be blog to find out what I learned...

Remember what my mom said – people can only love you as much as you love yourself.

How can you show yourself some self-love today?

Tiny Tips Tuesday: Cool It Down This Summer with a Mini Restorative Yoga Retreat

Dear Friend,

I wanted to personally invite you to my restorative yoga mini retreat workshop Saturday, July 26th. The class is limited to 18 students and we’re offering a pretty sweet deal if you register before the workshop.

If you already know you want to come, please click here to register. You will need to click the Workshops tab once you are on our online scheduling system. 

Below you’ll find all the details, but if you still have questions, please be sure to hit reply on this message and I’ll do my best to find an answer.

Hope you are well.

With much love,
Tami

If you wish you could hear from me every week with tips and tricks to help make life healthier, happier and a bit more sane, sign up for my weekly Teacher Goes Back to School newsletter HERE.

If you know anyone who you think would benefit from or like this post please be sure to forward it on to them.

cool it down details

Cool It Down – Summer Restorative Mini Retreat Workshop with Tami Hackbarth at It’s All Yoga

 When: 2:30-5pm Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Where: It’s All Yoga 2405 21st Street, Sacramento, CA 95818

Investment: $50 before the workshop $65 day of the workshop

Register now: This mini retreat workshop is limited to just 18 participants.

Beat the Sacramento heat this July with a cooling and rejuvenating restorative yoga retreat. Let’s cool it down and relax into a mini retreat right here in Midtown.

We’ll spend the afternoon in a cooling oasis of restorative yoga poses using blocks, blankets, bolsters, straps, sandbags, eye pillows, the wall and and sometimes even a chair to hold the body in deeply relaxing poses to relieve tension and stress while inducing your body’s natural relaxation response.

With the help of essential oils and chilled river rocks we’ll soothe the internal summer fire naturally bringing the body back into balance. In addition to this cooling and balancing restorative yoga practice, you’ll also enjoy some cooling and balancing treats to eat and drink.

This is a work shop of deep self-care, nurturing, healing, cooling and balancing. It promises to be a super relaxing afternoon.

A quick note about restorative yoga. It works well when you feel fatigued or stressed out, frazzled or after having a life change or hectic summer season. While the restorative poses look as though you are aren’t doing anything except laying on the floor, this is far from the truth; resting in a restorative pose deeply relaxes the body and allows the mind to settle in a state of calm and stillness.

The restorative style of yoga is appropriate for anyone, at any age, ability or experience level.  Previous yoga experience is not required.  We will provide the props.  If you want to bring your mat or any personal yoga props that you may prefer to use, please do. Dress comfortably in comfortable stretchy clothes.

 

Tiny Tips Tuesday: My Secret for Maintaining Self-Care Practices

long term self care

Dear Friend,

Recently several people have asked how I maintain a meditation practice (and a yoga practice and a writing practice). They were trying to learn my “secret” so they could add these useful practices into their own lives.

My secret is pretty simple.

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good – Voltaire

Nothing is perfect. I no longer let myself get caught up in the limiting belief that a practice has to be or look a certain way for it to “count” because if I did, nothing would ever be good enough.

Easier said than done and definitely a daily practice, but seriously life changing.

For example, for my meditation practice to happen each day I have to do it before I do anything else. Sometimes I meditate before I get out of bed to pee. Sorry for the TMI, but I’m being real here. If I really have to go, I will and then get right back in bed to start.

Is now a good time to tell you that my meditation practice takes place in my bed, under the covers and on most days laying down?

I know it’s not how meditation is “supposed” to work, but it works for me.

My yoga practice follows the same principle of not letting the perfect get in the way of the good.

In an ideal world I’d devote 90 minutes on my mat each and every day. In reality my phone reminds me every day to “DO YOGA” and my physical practice is sometimes a single restorative pose (on my bed) before I teach my class. Sometimes it is rolling out two mats -one for me and one for my daughter- and moving the dining room table out of the way so we can play. We pull out all the props, turn up some “yoga music” {usually the Freedom 90 or Queen station on Pandora) and see what happens.

Again, not how it is “supposed” to work, but it works for me.

The same for my writing practice. Ideally I would spend the first 2 or 3 hours a day first thing (post meditation, of course) writing my most perfect prose. The reality is that I write in fits and spurts daily. I brain storm and keep my ideas in Google docs and write skeleton outlines and fill in the details in my head while I push my daughter on the swing at the park. Every afternoon I spend some time writing something.

Again, not how it’s “supposed” to look, but it works for me.

Have you ever been stopped from doing something you wanted to because the perfect got in the way of the good enough?

With lots of love and compassion,

Tami

xo

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Other posts you might like:

Tips for Starting and Maintaining A Daily Meditation Practice

Meditation Mantra or How To Stay In The Moment Without Losing Your Marbles

7 Steps to Jump Start Your Meditation Practice

10 Things I Loved In March 2014

For the last few months I have been doing these reflection posts after being inspired by Rosie’s. Taking time each month to reflect on the good things that happen each day/week/month has done wonders for my ability to actually stop and notice the good stuff. 

10 things march

Ten Things I Loved In March

Things I/We Did

1.     Expanded our Family Success Team. Turns out it does take a village to raise a kid and when the closest family lives 70+ miles away, you have to get yourself an energetic teenager on your team. Woohoo! So excited.

2.     Celebrated my birthday. Toddlers bowling might just be the actual best thing. Ever. 

3.      Binged on House of Cards Season 2. If it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.

4.      The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher is back! We’ve been working all month to make it a home study program so people can get started right away and work at their own pace. To celebrate, I dove back into all the healthy, happy and sane practices myself and definitely felt healthier, happier and more sane. It works!

5.     Accountability Partner FTW! I am pretty self-motivated and goal orientated, but I do seriously struggle in a few areas of my life. I recently heard about the idea of an accountability partner – someone you share your weekly goals with in troublesome areas of your life – and they check in with you to see if you have completed what you said you wanted to do and if not how they can help you get it done. WHOA. Massive progress on months long stalled projects. 

Products and Services I Dug:

6.  IKEA milk frother.  I am not a coffee drinker and I’m highly susceptible to caffeine and I spend a fair amount of time working in cafes, so I was so happy to stumble across a dairy free caffeine free WARM drink a few months ago: vanilla soy steamer. Then I found myself wanting to work in coffee shops more because of the steamers and well that’s just a big ole waste of money. Enter the milk frother from IKEA – just over $2 and I can have all the frothed vegan nut milk my little heart desires.

7.  Kitchenaid Diamond blender – Got it for Christmas and I have used it a couple times a day ever since. Smoothies, creamy soups, shakes – every damn day. So many fruits and veggies being consumed.

Books I Can Highly Recommend:

8.   Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy by Louise Bates Ames. If nothing else, the title totally cracks me up. Also the fair warning that 3.5 might rock our world. Such good information to have going into this business.

9.    The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. Three words: NO UPPER LIMITS. Just read it. 

10.   Peaceful Parenting, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham.  Usually not one to read parenting books per say, but I was curious. It reminded me of many of the classroom management books I have read over the years. Good stuff – mostly about regulating parental behavior.

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If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

So what are you loving lately? I’m always on the lookout for what is delicious in food, drink, fashion, and life. Leave me your favorites in the comments or write a post of your own and link back here.

Image Source: My Instagram!

Nikki Stern: TGBTS Featured Teacher

Dear Friend,

Today I am sharing this month’s Featured Teacher, Nikki Stern. She is a holistic health coach who works to help people see how the food they eat contributes to their mood. On a personal note, working with Nikki helped me see how my daughter’s two year old temper tantrums usually tasted a lot like potato chips. Now they are what they are. In other words, her work is life-changing.

I would love to hear about who inspires your life and practice. Please send me a message.

With lots of self-kindness and love,

 Tami

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 Teachers.

Don’t you just love them?

I know I do.

There are those that inspire me and those that make me laugh. Some help me solve problems in my classroom and others that help me solve problems in my life.

I’d like to introduce you to some of my favorite teachers here.

Teachers in studios, classrooms and in the world at large. These are the folks you will see featured in my series of teacher interviews here at Teacher Goes Back to School.

I hope you enjoy these teachers as much as I do!

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Have you met Nikki yet? We met a gazillion years ago practicing next to each other at It’s All Yoga, reconnected after she returned to Sacramento after a brief stint in the Pacific Northwest and now she helps women all over connect how they eat with how they feel – in other words, she’s changing lives every day!

Here’s my interview.

When did you start practicing?

Hmmm, probably back in 2006

Why did you start?

Because I wanted a ‘yoga body’ What is that? I was in my early 20s and I believed that in order to be accepted I needed to look a very specific, skinny way.  A way that a girl with hips really can’t look.

Where did you practice?

Studios. Briefly at Healthy Habits and then I moved to It’s All Yoga – that’s when it “clicked” and I was hooked.

How has your practice evolved over time?

So much.  I’m no longer searching for a body type.  I let go of lots of comparisons, judgments and expectations!  They creep back in but I’m better at recognizing them. I still show up, learn and let go every time I get on the mat.

How long have you been a ‘food and mood’ teacher?

I’ve been teaching women how to connect with their bodies and discover how food and mood are connected for a little over a year now as a Holistic Health + Lifestyle Coach.

food mood

Why did you start blogging?

I decided to blog to weed through the massive amounts of often conflicting information about diets and what it means to be healthy.  I wanted people to understand that educating themselves about their bodies and how food affects them is important but that it is a small piece of the puzzle.  How we live our lives and whether we act with love or punishment – through careers, in relationships, in how we connect to the world and to ourselves – is where ultimate health is achieved.

What are your classes like?

I have just launched a group cleanse, MindBodyBliss (click here to see if you need this cleanse)and it’s all about cleansing what is not serving us and taking a few weeks to be with ourselves and discover balance and clarity.  Cleaning up our diet makes room for more nourishing foods, positive thoughts and allows old emotions to dislodge and take a hike.

This came from my own experience with cleansing, which was always more about food and losing weight and less about building up the good things in my life and addressing the emotions that came up when I wasn’t dousing them with sugar.  I wanted something more loving, less punishing for myself and my clients.  I hope some of our perceptions of ourselves and our bodies will shift during our 2 weeks and we can create a ripple effect of understanding true health and happiness, which has nothing to do with numbers.

Do you have a home yoga practice? What is it like? How often? Where?

My home practice is very loose.  I’ve accepted it for where it’s at instead of getting too judg-y with myself.  Honestly, a lot of it lives around a kid’s yoga book.  In the morning and evening my 3 year old flips through it and chooses 3 poses and we do them together.  It was mostly his idea and building it into our routine has helped tremendously with 3 1/2 year old drama (tantrums).

How’d you start and how do you keep at it?

I started long before I even did yoga, really.  I’ve always felt compelled to get down on the floor in the evenings while watching TV and stretch.  I used to be a personal trainer so I was tight and sore all of the time and it felt so great to stretch at the end of the day.  Now I’m not into that (less punishment, remember!) but still love to get down and mess around.  By doing that most of the time and not having too many expectations or parameters around it I feel more inclined to keep it up.

What’s your favorite pose? Why?

All of the pigeons.  Half, full, left, right.  My first experiences were all about escaping, but there was also something l loved about it.  I get such a deep release and feel so much tension leave my body when I hold those deep hip openers for a longtime.  I’m not a hoarder, I like letting things go.

What’s your least favorite pose?

Camel.  I took a yoga class in college and I would get nauseous and almost pass out every time we did camel pose.  For years I didn’t do it and thought there was some strange issue with camels and me.  Knowing more now, it probably had more to do with the vulnerability of it, of opening my heart and throat – or I’m just not cool with camels.  I can do it without all the drama now, but I’m traumatized and would rather not.

Do you have a meditation practice?

Yes!  I used to be a crisis meditator.  I only did it when things were really about to tank, a last ditch effort to keep my feet on the ground.  I constantly said, “I should do this more.”   Finally I did.  It was this year.  I’ve been at it for about 4 months straight.  I sometimes do it multiple times a day and that feels amazing.  I finally got past the “am I doing it right” obsession and eased into it, whatever it looks like.  I’m still struggling with how to get it done in the morning because my son will only leave me alone for about 5 minutes.  I might have to wake up earlier – if you have tips send them my way, please!

What is your blog about? When did you start? Why did you start? What is your purpose?

My blog is about connecting food and mood.  It’s about listening to your body, learning about the body, about how we treat it, what we feed it, what we say to it.  I started it when I started my coaching practice because I had information and experiences to share.  I lived a good part of my life feeling not enough (sound familiar?), hating my body, abusing my body and saw everything around me suffering.  All of my relationships, school, jobs, direction, it was crappy.  My purpose is to show women that there is another way.  We can simply shift our perspective, see who we are and not apologize, love our bodies and enjoy love, success and community.

What is your favorite post? Why?

Well, it’s probably the one I wrote VERY last minute about my husband and why I don’t want to forget how important the little things are.  Appreciation is one thing, vocalizing it can be another and when we do it can transform relationships and connections.

What other blogs do your read? Why?

TGBTS because it’s wise and funny and I am so inspired by your vulnerability and also that you tell people to lay the f*** down.  I love a good sailor mouth.

Honestly, my business is still a baby so I’m bummed to say I don’t read more blogs because there are some awesome ones.

Who and what inspires you?

Women inspire me.  Those that came before us and those among us.  There is so much wisdom, courage, compassion, fire, devotion, unity, resiliency.  I could go on, but my point is that I don’t think I’ve met a woman that doesn’t inspire me with what she is doing whether it’s staying at home to raise babies or build a business or volunteer her time to something she loves or going to school or starting a blog.  We are so hungry for purpose and wired for connection, I’m inspired when I see all of the ways we go after it.  Getting shit done.  I think we’re ready for a female president, don’t you?

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Are you interested in the MindBodyBliss cleanse and want to learn more? Click here to see Nikki’s video about how the body already does a lot of the detox work.