The Comparison Blues

Truer words have not been spoken.

Friends, I’ve been quietly suffering from a serious case of Internet envy as of late and it’s made me a bit quiet and introspective.

This Twitter friend is buying a house! That Twitter friend is training for a half marathon! Those Twitter friends are having babies!

And just what am I doing?

Where is all my BIG LIFE EXCITEMENT? {I wonder very judgmentally.}

The interesting thing is I already have all those things. I bought a house (holy crap! over a decade ago), trained for a half (and almost made it to the race) and I HAVE a baby.

So what is up with the envy?

After spending many nap hours pondering this question, I’ve come up with an answer for myself which I will share with you.

The life I’ve chosen to live these days is a pretty quiet one. I’m not documenting every minute and sometimes it feels like don’t have much to say because people all over the world have kids and clearly what we’re doing over here isn’t revolutionary or mind-blowingly different from what everyone is doing. I didn’t invent motherhood and I’m clearly not pretending I did.

When I do try to document our little life my main partner in crime is either trying to smack my camera Sean Penn style, swatting at my iPod when I’m trying to tweet and yelling no, or running away from me.

In other words, I just can’t document my life and really be present with Ruby. Lesson learned.

Also, I’m not sure my readers, besides my mom (hi mom!), really care about the moment to moment action of me and the little bear.

This, I assure you, isn’t a cry for comments about how you really, really do want me to live-tweet my action packed mornings or write about the wackiness of new motherhood (more than I already do). I am just trying to get my head around my recent comparisons and the resulting bout of jealous gloominess.

To be honest, I feel better just admitting I was comparing my life to other people’s. Life is moving at a baby’s pace right now and won’t be like this forever, so I better slow down and enjoy it while it lasts. ┬áNot in that everything is precious way, but in they are going to make me go back to work at some point and I will only get to hang with the little one after school and clearly I am so not ready for that.

Do you ever get the comparison blues?