{source: we heart it}
Holly and Amy recently posted their best decisions and I’ve decided to join in as well.
Best Decisions of My Adult Life
1. Adoption.
When it is all said and done, I’m thrilled with how we decided to build our family.
Was it a giant paperwork pain? Yes.
Did it take way longer than anyone anticipated? Yes.
Did the process potentially take years off my life? Yes.
Lesson learned: we now have our Ruby.
Also see: Totally worth the wait.
{Interested in learning more about our adoption?}
2. Moving far enough away from home it required getting on a plane to see friends and family.
I am lucky enough to count some friends as way back as elementary school. People I have been in contact with since elementary school ie not Facebook friends. So when I decided to move a plane ride away, it was a big deal for me. I loved my peeps and wasn’t sure about why I needed more.
Making friends as an adult without the benefit of being a student and before the internet was widely used (aka the early 90s) was hard at first. I was lonely for the first time in my life which made me bitter at first, but then a wonderful thing happened.
I started doing activities that I really liked (after a serious brain storming session about what I really liked doing) and lo and behold, I met people I liked and had a ton in common with. In fact, almost 15 years later, I count these women as some of my closest friends.
Lesson learned: If I’d never left the nest, I would have never met these lovelies.
3. Changing my career in (gasp!) my 30s.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say they are too old to make a change because they’ll be xx age when they finish the training, I’d be a rich woman and could retire from teaching. (And then spend my days volunteering in the classroom).
I spent all of my 20s and the first part of my 30s hopping from job to job in a field in which I had studied and was determined to succeed in. And you know what? I was miserable about 85% of that time. But like most people who are scared to death of making change, I wavered because “I’d already invested so much time”.
Lesson learned: If you are staying in a situation (job, career, marriage, relationship whatever) only because of the time you’ve invested, GET OUT. Change is hard, but not changing will kill your spirit.
4. Marrying my dude.
Turns out, marriage is different from living together.
Who knew?
So glad I got to find this out. He’s such a keeper. Love him. We really are family now.
Lesson learned: Some things can’t be explained, you have to experience them for yourself.
5. Yoga.
What can I say? It has totally changed my life. Sounds cliché, but there you have it. Since actively practicing on and off the mat seriously for almost five years, I am finally at peace more often than not.
True story: as a kid I wanted exactly 2 things – 1) never to work full-time because that was for suckers and 2) to find inner peace.
Lesson learned: Living in the moment beats living in the past and the future. Yoga helps me remember to stay present.
6. Sticking with my blog after yoga teacher training finished.
I have made so many new friends through this crazy thing. Truly unbelievable.
Lesson learned: Putting yourself out there opens up your life and your heart to new lovely people.
7. Returning to therapy after Ruby came home and finally trying EMDR.
Parenting has brought up a lot of issues I wasn’t even aware I had and I’m glad to know when I need help. In the last few months I’ve been able to make some serious progress and feel like some things are getting resolved.
Lesson learned: Life is a work in progress. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
8. To get/stay out of debt.
Early in my adult life I had a hard time saying no to myself. I believed if I had enough striped t-shirts, life would magically be better. Turns out you can get yourself in quite a bit of debt buying t-shirts and end up pretty unhappy. Reading It’s Your Money or Your Life and learning to live well on less has made me a much happier and relaxed grown up.
Lesson learned: You can’t buy happiness. If you don’t have it, don’t spend it.
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What are your best decisions? Share in the comments or write a post of your own and be sure to link back here.
Love this list! I’m actually excited to see how marriage will change my relationship. Sometimes I feel like it will make no difference but EVERYONE says it does…so I’m kinda looking forward to that. (well, you know, when we get around to getting married. lol) Also, I very much related to having no ability to “say no to myself” in my early twenties. Man! That was a crap sandwich to get out of. But also fantastic because I also will NEVER let myself be in debt again. And that is FREEEEEEEEING! :)
It was a completely subtle change and it snuck up on me. But definitely different.
Debt is such a crap sandwich. I’m so glad I got that part over with and now know whatever I want isn’t worth that feeling.
Love all of these! I especially love your point that marriage is different than living together. It IS, isn’t it? Who knew? Not me.
One of the biggest surprises of my life quite honestly.
Fantastic list! I gotta work on that debt one myself :)
A good place to start is with Your Money or Your Life and I also love The Simple Dollar blog and another book called Get A Financial Life. It is specifically geared towards people in their 20s and 30s and is super readable.
Love this. I will try to get in on this fish fry if I can come up with some good decisions… Of course I can!! Like one or two at least. Therapy=awesomeoness. You would think I’m getting paid to talk about how good it is for all the times I’ve tried to tell people, hey, go git some couch time, yo. Seriously. I am super glad you got that Ruby because I’m a big fan. :) xxxooo
Couch time = good times.
Yay Team Ruby!
:) I can identify with some of these. What is EMDR?
it’s an alternative therapy dealing with trauma. i avoided it for years and now it has been one of the best healing practices for me.
Wonderful list, Tami! I participated in this prompt, too. It really is a great way to look back on the major life decisions we’ve made and realize the amazing places they’ve brought us to! :)
Totally identify with #3…:-)
Yay! This is such a great list. Well done on all counts.
What a great post! Ahh… the wisdom…
It seems to be true what everyone is saying then— Your 40s really are the best, most fulfilling time! And I’ve always relied on your wisdom (even when we were only 20)!
Please keep writing the inspiring words I miss getting in-person. Now that it’s me who is a plane ride away, I rely on these posts of yours! x
I am so in love with this post. It’s awesome to look back and see that some of those huge decisions we make in life turned out to be the best.
I’m with you on number 2. K and I started our married life 500 miles from our family, and are now 3,000+ miles away. Though it is hard and we get homesick (like whenever we realize our nephew is now 8 months old and we haven’t seen him since 2 months), I wouldn’t trade our new city and life for anything. It is such a humbling and bonding experience to be alone in the world with just your significant other—you really learn to depend on each other, communicate clearly, and make (big and small) decisions as a couple.