Do you have someone you trust to help you in times of transition? Someone you can call to help you sort through personal and/or professional issues?
According to Rosie Molinary in Beautiful You: A Daily Guide To Radical Self-Acceptance:
Every woman should have a person she goes to when she needs understanding, perspective, comfort or commiseration….sharing problems helps you put worries into perspective, offers you fresh solutions and can help halt the cycle of negative thoughts.”
So hand-to-the-forehead simple! I couldn’t agree more. My friends are smart, funny, ass-kicking and most importantly, think I am too.
So why haven’t I calling them more often?
My word for 2013 is connection.
One of the reasons I chose this word is because I’ve gotten out of the habit of reaching out to friends and co-workers when I need them because everyone is so busy, the false sense of connection through social media and if I’m being really honest, I didn’t want to be any trouble. {Whaaat? I know. Probably deserves its own therapy session.}
Anyway, I am currently confronting a situation which has lead to much hand wringing and early morning wake-ups. I haven’t been getting very far on my own so I decided to rally my troops.
In a recent call with one of my Go-To Girls, I was able to not only run through various scenarios from worst-to-best case, I was able to write a timeline of action and quickly come up with a list of people I need to connect with in order to solve said issue. My Go-To Girl, not only helped me problem solve, but also reminded me what a fighter I’ve been in the past and how she had great confidence in me and my abilities. I got off the phone feeling pretty damn great about the situation and myself.
Left to my own devices I’m pretty sure I’d still be wringing my hands and plotting revenge fantasies.
One of my best self-care practices is reaching out when I’m in need. I may have to get a tattoo of this one to remind me when I’m down.
Do you have a Go-To Girl? Are you someone’s Go-To Girl?
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Read this when it came in my email but didn’t have a chance to comment right then…but definitely you make a great point about the relationships that we have online and the importance of having a go-to-person who is always there, without judgment. I have that with my best friend, whom I haven’t seen in a very long time now (she lives in MN). She and I met in college and lived together in the Czech Republic, and I know I can tell her anything and that she is there for me. Hoping your feeling better about what was on your mind…
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Just today, I sat down with one of my mentors to plan her future. And one of the things we did- because she is terrified about striking out on her own professionally- was write down her secret team– all of her go to girls that she just has to call to feel less alone and to have help in thinking through things. Suddenly, creating a new career for herself post-retirement felt less scary. Go to girls are so important. Glad you reached out to one of yours to help you make way out of what you are currently facing. Hugs to you as you navigate forward.
What a good read. A lot to think about.
Since I moved up north I haven’t found that close girl connection. And somehow moving away, in my mind, meant that I couldn’t burden my old friends (down south) with my hand-wringing problems.
Connection is a good, strong word.
Were it not for my Go-To Girls, I would be completely sunk. I have had the same bestie since 1982, but a few years ago I reconnected with a couple of awesome girls and now the four of us have this circle of awesomeness… we are always connected via email (because yes, we be HELLA BUSY), and we try to see each other every few weeks. If I did not have this group I would lose. My. Mind. Like, totally be crazier than I am. And then there is a larger group of girls with whom I’m also able to share and vent and ask for advice and vice versa.
My true number one Go-To Girl, however, is probably my mom. She has been putting up with my lunacy for nearly 43 years. And she’s amazeballs. Writing this makes me feel like one lucky mofo for sure. Obviously, I believe very much in the importance of the Go-To Girl(s).