Profound Moment – Paying Attention to the Details

Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

My first instinct when approaching this prompt was to retell the stories of the really hard parts of my year. If you’d like to read about them you can – here and here. Oh sadness, why are you so vivid?

My next instinct was to get all “yoga” on you and say something like,<insert breathy voice here> “every moment I feel alive”  – because I’m just that good at being in the moment.

Ha!

Then I wanted to punch myself for being so pretentious and figured that wasn’t the direction this post would take if I wanted to keep my readers.

So I’ll talk about something that has made me all misty-eyed and proud.

Drum roll, please….

I noticed – on several different occasions – the trees changing color.

What the big effing deal about that?

For starters, just about every tree in Sacramento changes from green to Technicolor yellow, orange, red. It is like an explosion of color and so different from the evergreen trees around where I grew up. You would pretty much have to be blind not to notice.

And until last fall (during yoga teacher training), I didn’t ever notice the beauty.

How can that be you ask?

Usually I’m stuck in my head and mired in how to get from here to there or how to get this group of people to do what I want them to do when I want them to do it and for them to think it was their idea – instead of paying attention to the details of life around me.

Not this year.

This year, I am paying attention to those damn leaves.

I’ve even picked out my favorite trees – they are twins.

They live across the street on the corner a couple of blocks down the street from me.

I found out recently they are ginkgo biloba trees. They are at least 10 feet tall, slender and right now have bright yellow flower petal shaped leaves covering them.

There is also a pile of leaves on the sidewalk and street. I’m hoping to see the flurry of leaves falling when the wind kicks in.

I hope I don’t miss it.

Why do these leaves make me so heart-swelling happy?

Because I am finally noticing the little details of life. I think they call it living in the moment. I have heard this is where the peace and the happiness live.

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Has there been a moment that took your breath away this year?


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Today’s prompt is from:

Author: Ali Edwards
Memory Keeping Idea Books
@aliedwards

Matt the Cat

rest in peace

Our cat, Matt, died yesterday.

He was 11 years old. We’re not sure why he died, but we are totally gutted by it. Losing a pet unexpectedly is about as much fun as you’d expect it to be.

His brother, Ian is still meowing a lot (very unlike him – his nickname is Roberto Silencio) and looking around smelling everything.

I think he’s looking for Matt.

Right now, he’s hanging out by the kitty door. We think he’s waiting to see if he can catch him.

Matt’s never missed a meal.

Until now.

Today when I went to work I wasn’t sure what to expect.

I feared people wouldn’t understand how I was feeling.

I was afraid I’d get the dreaded, “He was just a cat.”

It took about 3 steps into the staff room before I was bawling my eyes out telling everyone who was there what happened. Immediately I was surrounded by friends offering hugs, condolences and sharing their sad pet stories. {I have the best co-workers}

Later I shared my sad news with my class and in their own third grade way, helped me deal with my sadness. They wanted to know all about him and have a chance to then talk about their sad pet stories. {big hugs to my little co-workers too – love them}

So my wonderful friends and readers, this is how my week has been.

And I’ve got a spring cold. Or the worst allergies known to mankind.

Since I’m here, does anyone have any words of wisdom on grief?

Anyone have any experience with animal grief?

Ideas to help Ian?

Adoption is not for the faint of heart

We talked to the owner of our adoption agency today after months of weirdness with our case worker in the satellite office.

Here is a list of things I learned from today’s conversation.

  1. Our dossier – fancy name for paperwork – just got sent to Thailand a week and a half ago.
  2. Our “waiting clock” of 12-13 months started when our dossier got sent to Thailand.
  3. We thought our dossier had been sent to Thailand in the spring of 2009.
  4. What we thought of as almost a year of waiting patiently, apparently was just practice for more waiting patiently.
  5. Now our expected time to travel is Summer 2011.
  6. I’ll be working next year.
  7. Working with satellite offices – not so much.
  8. I really appreciate hearing the words “neglected”, “mishandled” and “miscommunication” immediately followed by the words I’m sorry.

 Since no one is quite sure how to react to this situation, please let me ask for what we need and to tell you what we definitely don’t need.

Let’s start with the DON’T LIST in case you are short on time:

  1. “This exact same thing happened to my (fill in the blank)” …. I’m sorry to hear that, but right now I don’t care. It’s happening to me now. Focus, people.
  2. “Everything happens for a reason”…. I know and my supreme disappointment is directly attributed to someone misinforming me at best and lying to me at worst. So unless the universe is trying to tell me not to trust people – save it.
  3. “But you’ll be such great parents…the kid will be lucky and …. it sucks that “good” people don’t have kids, but “those” people do.” – Quit judging us and them. You aren’t making anyone feel better.
  4. “There are plenty of kids here to adopt”  -Since you don’t know our situation,  keep this kind of not so veiled judgement to yourself as well.
  5. “I wish I could just make it happen for you”  -We do too, but you can’t.

Now for what we actually need:

  1. Hugs.
  2. Lots of tissue.
  3. Quiet time to be sad.
  4. Some fun. Please feel free to take us out to dinner, the movies, shows – whatever – we’re easy that way.
  5. A vacation. Feel free to offer any and all frequent flyer miles and vacations houses. We’d love to get away this summer. Hell, maybe even this spring.