Talking Adoption on Yes and Yes

Today I am guest posting about adoption over at one of my favorite of all times blogs – Yes and Yes. If you are curious about the hows and whys of our adoption journey, this is where you’ll find some answers.

Sarah Von is a world traveling former ESL teacher with a love of Taiwan and a contagious laugh.

I hope you stop over to read my post and while you are there stay awhile and get to know Sarah a bit.

Adoption Update: We’re Picking Up Ruby!

Exactly six weeks ago, our agency called to say we got first decree.

Today we received our travel dates.

We will finally meet Ruby the first week of October when we travel to Taiwan to pick her up.

We’re obviously over the moon with the news and are excitedly preparing for our trip and Ruby’s arrival.

Thanks for all your love and support!

Saturday Senses

tasting :: nothing

hearing :: your current adoption wait time: 2-3 more YEARS. {unless we switch to another country}

smelling :: nothing

seeing :: through a lot of tears.

feeling :: gutted, but well-loved and supported. super delicate and very much in need of a soft touch.

wishing/hoping :: for some time and space to just be sad. some clarity on what we will do. kindness to self and from others.

What about you?

What are your senses this Saturday?

Looking back, how was your week?

Leave a comment and tell me all about it. I’d seriously love to hear about someone’s week that didn’t totally suck. If your week sucked, tell me about it anyway. I’d love to have some company.

This weekly tradition inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

Don’t forget to click the links!

Pregnant for 21 Months…and Counting

Pregnant for 21 Months… and Counting 

{This was first published at Becky and Hollee’s blog back in June 2010.}

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Today we are pleased to welcome a California mom-to-be who shares how she’s coping with the a very long journey to motherhood.–Hollee

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Can you imagine being pregnant for 21 months and counting? Welcome to the world of international adoption!

During the fall semester of 2008 (we’re both public school teachers), we began our very long journey toward becoming parents. Every second that fall was filled with adoption paperwork. We answered essay questions about why we wanted to adopt and it all came down to this:

There are children in the world who need families and we want to raise a child.

We both believe families are made, not born.

Tami and her husband

 

Autobiographies were written. Fingerprints were cleared by all possible agencies. We wrote a child care plan, divulged tax information, ran financial reports, found guardians for our future child and talked about discipline. Home studies were completed, doctors were consulted and notaries notarized every single scrap of paper.

Through this process I have learned a lot about my husband. I admire his ability to stay hyper-focused and organized, strengths I don’t share. His desire to become a parent has deepened my feelings for him in ways I never expected. Maybe this is what people talk about when they say they fall in love again after their children are born.

In large part, our application was completed in record time because of his determination to make this happen. We turned it all in to our agency and patted ourselves on the back.

Then there was nothing to do — except wait.

Did you hear anything yet?
Why does it take so long?
Did you hear anything yet?
Are you sure this is all legit?
Did you hear anything yet?
I’m sure you’ll get pregnant, now that your paperwork is finished.
Did you hear anything yet?

No, we haven’t heard anything yet. We’re hoping (fingers crossed) that it will be next summer when we travel. For now, we simply have to wait our turn and figure out how to fill our time while we wait.

As you can imagine, it’s not always easy to just wait. As a culture, we are fairly accustomed to immediate gratification.

So how are we spending our paper-pregnancy time?

We’re reading adoption books (Adoption is a Family Affair: What Relatives and Friends Must Know is a favorite), general parenting books (we’re always looking for recommendations) and cultivating relationships with other waiting/adoptive families. There is nothing like the support of people who have gone through or are currently going through the same experience.

We’re taking classes to make sure we’re at the highest salary possible when our child arrives, making some much-needed home improvements, and now re-doing lots of paperwork because it needs to be renewed annually.

But mostly, we’re just waiting.

Our friends and family are all trying to be patient and supportive, only occasionally raising the when question. This experience is new to them, too, and they want to stay involved and help us in our wait. Love is all around.

Sometimes though, they admit that they forget that we’re expecting. They apologize and ask about the timeline and procedures. But truth be told, sometimes I forget too. There is no baby bump or physical change, no big nesting urge or due date. At this point, we don’t even have a referral, so there isn’t even a picture of our waiting child.

Right now, our pregnancy is still a completely paper one.

Through this process, I’m learning a lot about myself. For starters, I am slowly developing the ability to not need to know what is going to happen next and to not feel defensive because I don’t have all of the answers. My faith in what is to be has been repeatedly tested and I haven’t come completely undone.

My heart is opening in unexpected ways: I’ve been able to accept the support of friends and family, and to look inside for acceptance of who I am without judgment. I know I’ll need these skills once I become a parent.

Yoga is actually helping the most. By practicing living in this moment, not trying to anticipate what will happen, the waiting becomes much more bearable. I’m trying to cultivate the feeling that life unfolds and to remember that forcing or pressing adds to the suffering.

Building your family through adoption is a long process that requires a lot of love, compassion, support and patience. I’m happy to know I’m not on this journey alone.

Tami Hackbarth is a full-time public school teacher in Northern California. When she’s not bossing kids around, she also teaches yoga to people who think it’s not for them. She is pursuing an advanced degree in resting, storytelling and social media. She can be found on Twitter and at her blog: Teacher Goes Back to School.

21 Months and Counting – Guest Post

Today I have a guest post over at BeckyandHollee’s blog about our journey to parenthood via international adoption. If you are interested in international adoption, please check it out.

If you haven’t met Becky and Hollee yet, they are the authors of a soon to be released book called: Good Enough is the New Perfect. I don’t know about you, but the title alone makes me want to read it!

Bittersweet Travel Planning

Until recently I thought we would be traveling to Thailand this summer.

That fantasy was burst and I’ve pretty much made peace with the situation.

Until I started planning for our actual summer trip.

In doing research on Munich and Croatia (yay European travel!), I started with Rick Steves and quickly remembered how much I don’t want to travel with him.

I can’t even make it through an entire episode without wondering how he has this job.

Don’t get me wrong, he seems like a nice guy….. but are you kidding me?      

y-a-w-n

  

Enter my favorite travel guide: Tony Bourdain.

The foul-mouthed drunkard chef?

Yep, that one.

Anyway, in my search of No Reservations episodes in Netflix Watch Instantly, I came across a Thailand episode.

Of course, I watched it.

The dude even stopped what he was doing to come join me in my office.

I’ll spare you the details, but ultimately watching Tony eating his way through Thailand made me sad.

I really wish we were going to Thailand this summer.

Adoption Isn’t Just What You Read About in the Headlines

Enough with the bad news already.

It seems every time I turn on the news recently there is a story of an adoption gone wrong.

There is a reason it is news:

Because it is rare.

Lots of people adopt every year and there isn’t one news story on all the families made complete through the process.

Except for this one.

Please take a minute to read it.

The author’s name is Eric Weiner. He is a former reporter for NPR and author of The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World.

I think he’s got it right.

+++++

The latest on our adoption?

We are in the process of renewing all of our paperwork which included a recent visit with our social worker. She came by the house on Sunday for a check in. It was lovely to see her. We’re lucky. We really like our social worker.

The best part?

We are one step closer to becoming parents.

Click here for a general timeline for our adoption.