Good friends to have.

Yesterday we got some disappointing news. Our adoption wait is going to take longer than we first thought. Current circumstances are pushing our wait to the longer 24+ month wait, rather than the optimistic 18-24 month wait. Not the end of the world, but disappointing nonetheless.

It didn’t really sink in until this morning how sad I am about it.

I have been operating on the optimist time frame. I had it in my head that by next school year we’ve have our kiddo at home and instead of trying to teach everyone else’s kids how to read, I’d be home learning how to be a parent.

Not so.

I’m not sure exactly at what moment my disappointment set in, but when the tears started, I wasn’t sure they were going to stop. By the time I reached the school parking lot, I had it pulled together. I figured I’d just muscle through and then come home and continue to be sad.

I slipped through the office unnoticed and made it halfway to my classroom when I encountered some of my colleagues talking to one of my former parents in the hallway. They all greeted me with a warm good morning and my eyes immediately welled up again.

Next thing I knew, I was enveloped in a great big mama teacher hug crying like a baby. Big hugs and kind words followed. I explained what had happened and one reminded me what I already knew… that “our” kid isn’t ready for us yet and when he or she is ready for us, we’ll be there.

Their kindness helped me put our situation in perspective. So it’s going to take a bit longer than we thought, but when it happens it’ll be right.

So thank you dear friends for your support and love.

We are all alone in this world/from cradle to grave/and maybe after that. – Rhett Miller (Like Love)

A boy in my class keeps crying.  His shoulders shake, his nose runs, big wet tears fall on his desk. The other kids try not to notice. It’s quite a spectacle. He keeps telling me he misses his mom and wants to go home. I keep handing him tissues and saying that we’re just going to keep on working. Eventually the sobs subside and he resumes being a seven-year old boy vaguely interested in what we’re doing for a while and then he forgets he’s sad and he’s right in the fray. 

At recess today, he took himself to the office. He found someone to talk to. She brought him back to class and told me his family is having a hard time. I promised I’d take good care of him and after some more tears, he got back to work and forgot he was sad again.

 At the last recess I caught up with him and asked him what’s going on. He said his parents have been fighting and that his dad is going to move out. He also said that his dad has a car this time, so it’ll be better than last time. We sat down on the picnic benches in the semi-shade and chatted a bit more.

 I wondered aloud why he kept saying he missed his mom when it was his dad that was moving out. He told me it’s because he worries about her. My eyes teared up for a second. I asked him if he was the oldest kid in the family because I assumed he was taking it all in because he was the oldest. He reminded me that I had already met one of his older sisters and he went on to complain about how his older sisters were mean to him and his little brother.

 Right before he hopped up to play I reminded him we were going to have another chapter in the read aloud – Stone Fox. He just smiled and ran away.

{click image for source}

{for more rhett miller – click here}