Tag Archives: truth

Noticing the Good Stuff: A Life’s Practice

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good stuff

I’ve recently gone through my archives for a project I’ve been working on and noticed that, by and large, my posts are positive snapshots of my life and about people and things that inspire me.

For some of you, the people who have known me for a long time, may be wondering who I have become – if I’ve swallowed some sort of yoga kool aid. For those of you that are new to me or only know me through this blog,  I want to be clear this is, in no way, to be taken as an accurate picture of my day-to-day life.

Lest you get the wrong impression about me and my life – everything isn’t always swell and great and easy. It is not. In fact, August was one of my most emotionally draining months ever.

But….

I’m just not interested in airing my dirty laundry on the internet or putting my still-in-progress troubles out there for the world to see. It’s not how I roll. I’m more of a work things out by myself/with a close friends/counselor kind of person.

In this space, I choose to highlight the awesome things I do every month because if I didn’t, these amazing things would go unnoticed and unappreciated. Mostly by me.

My natural tendency is to see what is wrong in a situation – to find the pieces that don’t fit and to make commentary on those (sometimes in a really funny way, if I do say so myself)- leaving my brain filled with the impression nothing in life is quite right.

Don’t get me wrong, I like this part of myself. Both for the observational humor as well as the I like to fix things part. But here’s the thing, my brain sometimes gets stuck in seeing what is wrong in life and I’m raising a kid now and I don’t want to nit pick life in front of her. Or nit pick her.

So pointing out what is going well – however small it may be – helps me notice the awesome things in my life.

Much to my surprise, I’ve also figured out that I like seeing the beauty in the smallest things. It really does fill me with a sense of wonder and gratitude (I know, I may also have thrown up in my mouth a little bit too).

Noticing the good stuff, my friends, is a practice for me. Much like yoga and meditation are things I have to practice – do a little each day in the best possible world – in hopes that some day it becomes an actual habit or something that comes more naturally.

Do you take time to notice the good stuff in life? Do you share your life online? How do you deal with this issue?

What Scares Me Most…

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Before I got my teaching credential, at my husband’s insistence, I spent some time working as a substitute teacher. One day, while working in a kindergarten classroom I heard a voice outside my head say what, up until that point, had only said inside my head.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

I paused, looked up from the group of adorable kindergarteners sitting at my knees and made eye contact with the speaker.

Huh?

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

Huh, that’s what I thought she said.

She made some hand motions and gave directions on how I could correct what I was doing.

I turned the book upside down from where it was and like magic, right.

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The important part of this story is the absolute absurdity of that sentence being said to me out loud by another adult.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

And yet, in the moments right before I fall asleep these days, this exact thought is whispered in my own head.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

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Apparently, I’m afraid I’m going to do it wrong with Ruby.

In my rational brain, I can clearly see this isn’t true. I know there isn’t a wrong way or a right way. There are just ways that work today and those that don’t. Things that work better for some kids and things that totally don’t work for that kid (and so you stop).

But it’s not my rational brain telling me YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. 

I’m pretty sure this is my inside voice, the one I’m not even clear who it belongs to.

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The other night in yoga class, Michelle, talked about the concept of satya or truth. What is true for your body today? What stories does your inner voice tell you? In other words, what kind of shit talking goes on about your limits or fears?

She said something about how the ego/bully voices are loud, aggressive and mean. The voice of truth is soft and kind, like a friend’s voice.

If you would like to listen (or play with idea for yourself, you can listen here).

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So here’s the deal on the comments today. I’m going to ask for what I need and what I don’t.

What I need: Please share how you talked yourself off this particular ledge – the abject fear of DOING IT WRONG. If you haven’t gotten off there, share that too. Knowing other people are afraid of the same things makes me less afraid.

Or you can simply tell me what scares you most.

What I don’t need: Reassurances that I’ll be a good mama, that’s not the issue, it’s the FEAR I’d like to address.