At 4:30 am I woke up from an awful dream. I was scheduled to teach a yoga class and it was at the house where I grew up. The room where I was to be teaching was longer and more narrow than I remembered, so I switched to another room only to find it stuffed full of furniture and people waiting.
There were couches and coffee table after coffee table after coffee table, and dining room tables. A bar had been set up and needed to be moved and even coffee and Danish.
And did I mention all the people?
Even my dad was there. He said he wanted to try yoga. He’d heard from someone it’s really good for you and since I’m teaching now, he was there for my class.
Are you effing kidding me?
The people just kept coming. They didn’t have their mats or their clothes or any of their yoga stuff. There was a sense of anticipation.The time kept ticking and the furniture moving was going at a snail’s pace.
When would we start? How would we ever begin with all the talking, milling about, furniture moving? How would we fit everyone there?
Everyone kept asking me questions…. thinking I was in charge. Like I knew what to do in these strange circumstances. Like I WAS IN CHARGE….
I kept reminding myself to breathe and that it would be ok.
Except I didn’t even believe myself.
I guess my Monsters are trying to tell me something.
It’s now 5am, I’m blogging and I’ve got heartburn.
I guess you could say I’m losing my freaking marbles about subbing for Michelle (my badass, seemingly perfect, rock star teacher) .
I guess you could say that I’m feeling like I need to plan the perfect class and prepare for everything that may happen.
I need to find the perfect story/poem to start the class.
I need to come up with the perfect sequence for every single person in the class.
I need to know every modification and prop to support every person in every pose.
I need to say the perfect words for every pose and have witty, but not too witty banter between poses.
Simply put, I need ME to be perfect.
Can someone talk to my MONSTERS for me?
I am having trouble getting through.
Michelle said she felt better after she let hers rant and rave for a while.
I’ve just got heartburn.