Tag Archives: Dharma

Inspiration for Self Acceptance Self-Study

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definition of self acceptance

This month in class, I’ve been asking students to explore the concept of self-acceptance and have been met with nervous giggles,  sighs of knowing recognition and blank stares. I’m pretty sure most people starting or returning to yoga in January thought we’d be talking about “real” resolutions like losing weight or starting a fitness program and finally sticking to it.

Instead I’ve been asking people (myself included) to practice being ok with what is, right now. Seems simple. Until you try it and are met with various layers of distraction or resistance.

I know these intimately because I’m practicing this too! So today I’ve decided to share my resources for self-study on self-acceptance for this month.

Podcast:     I love a good dharma talk. Recently I’ve discovered Tara Brach, an American Buddhist teacher/author of Radical Self-Acceptance, and I’m inspired. Finding True Refuge is definitely worth a listen.

Do you have any dharma talks that you love? Please let a comment so I can listen too.

Book:    Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance by Rosie Molinary.

Friends, I have been “trying” to read this book for years. Fact: It’s been sitting on my to-read self for years. Basically, I’ve read every other book on every other shelf and avoided this book.

What’s been the resistance? The daily practice part – I’m only now learning to love that learning is a process rather than something you either do or are.

The self-acceptance part. Truth: I felt I didn’t need it. I believed I loved myself. Or at least that’s what I defensively told myself, dammit. And then I got quiet and realized I struggle with feeling good enough. It’s a very quiet, but extremely pervasive voice.

Adding to this crazy is how I absolutely devour all of Rosie’s blog posts and our adoptive mama correspondence. I love her. She has so much wisdom and I have learned so much from her.

So I’ve been soaking up all the daily lessons. This time just reading, but I think this will turn into a journaling practice. Or maybe a series of posts and reader challenges.  There is some damn good stuff in here.

As it turns out, self-acceptance – at least how Rosie defines it – isn’t so scary after all!

Favorite exercises so far include:

Name Your Inner Critic – I’m thinking Blanche.  As in, “For god’s sake Blanche, just shut it all ready.” We’ll see.

Realize That Your Dissatisfaction Is Not About Your Body

Banish “Have You Lost Weight?” From Your Vocabulary — my friend Rebekah wrote about this here.

Have A Comeback

Consider the Time You Have Lost

Quiet Your Critic

Go To Bed Earlier

Schedule Breaks

Are you intrigued? Want to have a book club with Beautiful You? We totally could do one online. Leave me a comment if you are interested.

Blog:     Curvy Yoga is always on my must read list. I love Anna’s list of 15 Books that Shaped My Body Lovin’ Journey.

I highly recommend reading:

Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (really all her books).

Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott (really all of her books)

A Path With A Heart by Jack Kornfield (my favorite is The Beginner’s Guide to Forgiveness)

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

I want to read:

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

Mega Yoga by Megan Garcia

Yoga From the Inside Out by Christina Sell

Do you have any acceptance or yoga books to recommend?

Tell me – how is your resolve to be with what is going?

Image source: Pinterest

Is yoga a religion?

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I wanted to title this post, “I used hate all religion and now I only dislike some.” Catchy, huh?

Day Three

The Dharma talk. Uh oh.  The Dharma talk is the part where the yoga is going to recruit me into the cult. It will invade my brain and change how I view the world, God and myself.

God, I hope so.

Let me start at the beginning. I was raised to be a good Lutheran. Or at least that was the intention. My peeps are originally from Minnesota and as Garrison Keillor can attest, the place overrun with Lutherans. My father moved to California when he was three; however he brought those good Lutheran values with him on the ride.

Here’s the truth though. I went to the weekly classes and was confirmed a Lutheran when I was in eighth grade.   As it turns out, I was that kid. I was the questioner. I was the doubter. I was the pain in the ass with all the philosophical questions and then with the follow up questions which always ended with the pastor sighing audibly and replying, “You just need to have faith.”

Since being confirmed as a real life Lutheran, I have been to church exactly three times. When I go to church wedding, I worry that my lack of faith will somehow cause the architectural destruction of the church. Seriously, I worry that I’m going to ruin the wedding because the church falls down around us. I’m pretty sure the pastor at my church is still clapping gleefully every week when I am absent from his congregation. The dude looked a little panicked when he spotted me in the pews at my Grandma’s funeral. “Oh no, not that kid.”

“You just need to have faith.”

How could I have faith in something I saw as punitive and hypocritical? How could I have faith when there is so much suffering and injustice in the world? How could I have faith when I don’t see myself like these people?

“You just need to have faith.”

But it didn’t. In fact, for a very long time, I had the opposite of faith. I had scorn for those that blindly followed the flock and didn’t question. I looked down on them for their ignorance of what was real – evolution, science, fun. Needless to say, my spiritual life suffered greatly because of my rebellious attitude toward my family’s chosen religion.

“You just need to have faith.”

Then it happened. I started to question my questioning. I started to feel like something was missing in my life. I had a new very fulfilling job I was passionate about, a very supportive partner, amazing friends and yet something was missing. Did those JC lovers know something I didn’t know?  Damn them. Were they right?!? Did I just need to have faith?

So I went on a journey to find my spiritual self. Of course I mocked the hell out of the wonderful person that suggested I do that. Poor thing, just a sweet Buddhist shrink looking to help me find my way. I think I owe her an apology…

I didn’t go to yoga to find my spiritual self or any new ideas about the world. I was looking for a good workout and that post class feeling. That peaceful feeling. That feeling that was absent except right after class. So more yoga = more good feelings, right?

As it turns out, the real yoga comes after you leave your mat, your head and find your own inner goodness and peace. As it turns out, it’s the turning inward and looking for the divinity in yourself when all the goodness happens. It’s the Dharma that brings out the faith. The faith in the inner goodness in all people, the faith in the impermanence of all – good, bad, indifferent, the faith in the present moment.

Through the regular practice of asana and listening to the very wise IAY teachers, I have finally found my faith.