Tag Archives: taking care of yourself

Tiny Tips Tuesday: Remove Obstacles to Self-Care

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Recently I checked in on my wellness prescription to see how well I’ve been taking care of myself and I noticed a couple of areas where I have been falling short.

Rather than beating myself up (as I would have before I found a self-compassion practice), I did a little investigation to get to the bottom of it.

obstacles to self-care

What are the obstacles that are getting in the way of practicing good self-care?

Problem #1: Not drinking enough water.

I did a little self-inquiry and kindly asked myself – why aren’t you doing this?

Answer: I hate cleaning up all the water when my cup gets knocked over.

Solution: Buy a lid with a straw for my cup to prevent spills.

 

Problem #2: I am super grumpy 3 hours after I wake up and for some reason I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet.

So I did a little inquiry and asked myself – why aren’t you doing this?

Answer: My early morning caffeine was acting as an appetite suppressant and making me forget I was hungry until I was hangry.

Solution: Eat breakfast as soon as I get out of bed and post a photo to Instagram to check in with my accountability partner.

Need some breakfast inspiration? Click here.

Problem #3: Getting myself to the gym to lift weights twice a week for 20 minutes each session.

When I asked myself the question (with all the kindness in the world) – why aren’t you doing this?

Answer: My first response was I don’t have time. I am already stretched too thin. I have so much to do. I only have so much time for myself.

Also see: defensive. Also: only 20 minutes. (Hello, Facebook).

Reality check: All sorta true. But I know there is always something buried deep in “I don’t have time” (especially with a side order of defensiveness – I’m still peeking at you Facebook), so I kept digging.

I asked myself again – super gently with genuine inquiry – why aren’t you doing this?

Same question – Different answer: – Because I don’t have anyone to go with me. Not totally true and easily fixed. I could go at the same time my family goes or find a friend to meet me there.

Still curious, I asked myself again – why aren’t you doing this?

Same question – Different answer: Because I don’t have the right sports bra to be comfortable in while inevitably looking at myself in the mirror the entire time I’m working out.

Answer: Totally true. Not really what I want to admit because I thought I was way further along in my self-acceptance journey, but still true.

Also: Don’t you love getting to the real answer?!?!

So this leads me to this – I have been wearing the wrong bra size (by about 4 CUP SIZES for my whole life – leading to double boob and back fat) and you probably have too (even if you have gotten a fitting before).

What?

I know.

All this investigation into self-care lead me down the let’s buy new bras road. And you know what?

Finally wearing a bra that fits feels like I can take on the world. Including the weight room.

I’d love to hear how you work around the obstacles in your life – please send me a message or leave a comment.

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami  xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

PPS – Side note if you don’t have boobs or don’t wear a bra, the message is really about inquiry into how to overcome the obstacles to good self-care. Also, someone you know is wearing the wrong size bra, so help a sista out and pass this on to all the women in your life.
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Links To Love:

How to Write a Wellness Prescription

Want to find out if you are wearing the wrong size bra? Check out this post: Happy Boobs – be sure to watch the video Brittany shares and get ready to be amazed.

I got my new bras at Nordstrom Rack and they are also available at Nordstrom and online at Amazon.

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

Tiny Tips Tuesday: 19 Tips for Taking Care of Yourself While Also Taking Care of Your Loved Ones

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Dear Friend,

I am not going to lie. This past week was HARD. Quite possibly one of the hardest of my life. Something about parenting a small child while being far away from my own ailing mama plus the reality of our situation settling in and really making itself known. And let’s not forget the seemingly never ending cold virus.

Today I offer you some tips on taking care of yourself while in the middle of taking care of the people you love.

[DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional and if you are in crisis please seek immediate medical attention from a medical professional.]

A vast majority of these helpful ideas were crowd-sourced from my Facebook friends, many of whom have experienced parenting while caring for their own parents through long-term illness and transitioning into end of life.

I offer these tips to you because they’ve already begun to help me. If you have a secret self-care tip to share, please message me. I am all ears.

Wishing you a week filled with love and self-kindness.
xo,
Tami
PS – If you know someone who is in need of some self-care or wants to help someone out, please forward this on to them.
taking care

And you don’t even have to do all of them to feel better.

1. Reach out. Friends, family, loved ones, your primary care doctor, a therapist, a support group. Any and all of these can be helpful. A text, a phone call, a Facebook message. Isolating yourself is not the answer. No one can go through crisis alone, so please ask for help or at least let people know you need help.

We are programmed as humans to need connection and one of our basic human needs is to tend and befriend not just fight and flight. So reach out.

The number one thing take away from friends is we can’t do it alone. Ignoring our own needs and those of our immediate family does not help anyone – not you and not your ailing loved one.

2. Accept help when it is offered.  I struggle with this, but I am trying to change that because I am finally understanding you can’t do it alone. If people offer you dinner, take it. If someone you trust offers childcare, take it.

3. Slow down. Take it one day at a time. Or one hour. Or one minute.4. Clear your schedule as much as possible.

5. Meditate.

6. Let people physically comfort you. Embracing long hugs and hand holding and letting yourself cry in front of others.

7. Recharge your batteries. Go on a walk, hit the gym, take a yoga class

8. Nap. Rest until you are better.

9. Sleep. We’re all just giant two year olds without it.

10. Laugh. Some people watch funny movies. I like to exchange ridiculous comments on friends’ Facebook statuses – usually on Friday nights. Because we old, but we are still funny as hell.

11. Stay away from negative media/the “news”.

12. Cry. Watch a sad movie and cry it out. Ugly cry on purpose.

13. Let your kid watch TV sometimes. And don’t feel guilty about it. (We’ve been loving Sid the Science Kid, Elmo’s Potty Time and Little Einsteins. Someone else recommended Kipper for its mellow vibe).

14. Keep a gratitude journal to keep perspective that not every single thing in your life sucks. Take time to add five small things that delighted you each day. I’ve been doing this on and off for years and it has made a huge impact on my happiness.

15. Silly play with your kid. We’ve been puddle splashing and mud stomping lately and while dirty (and gross) little girl has been lit up like a Christmas tree. And in turn, I’ve laughed and played and felt good about connecting with my kid.

16. Solo movie watching during the day. With popcorn. At home or the theater.

17. Eat soup.

18. Eat chocolate – if that’s your thing. Apparently it’s my peeps’ thing. Lots of chocolate on my list.

19. Read a lot.

BONUS!

6 Ways To Reach Out To People Who Are Hurting:

1. Offer to Skype with a friend if you are out of town or scheduling makes it impossible to get together face to face. While it doesn’t allow for hugging, talking to another human’s face is remarkably comforting.

2. Offer to babysit their kids. Nothing is more helpful than someone else taking your kid for an hour or two for fun. Especially if the parents are struggling with depression and fun isn’t on the forefront of their minds (but they still manage to feel terrible about it).

3. Offer to cook them a meal or pick their kids up from school or get them coffee. Families struggling with the basics of life need help with the basics. So if you’ve got an extra batch of veggie soup in your freezer, offer it up. When we first returned from picking up our kiddo, the last thing on our minds was food. And then like magic it appeared on our front porch and I never felt more loved or cared for.

4. Offer to take them to the gym or on a walk or run or yoga class. People need physical activity and to get the ickies out and yet they might be stuck in the caring for others instead of themselves loop.

5. Stop by to give your person a hug. Maybe bring a treat (or not), but hugging them longer than they want to be hugged.

6. Listen and allow people to just be sad without having an solution at the ready. Just being a shoulder to cry on.

Please leave any tips you have used in the comments below.

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

Introducing The Healthy, Happy, Sane Teacher

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Hey Rock Star Teacher!

Did your school year recently end and you are still trying to figure out what just happened to you?

Are you wondering how you got it all done because you can’t remember one second of doing it?

Is recovering from the school year going to take most of your summer?

Do you wish you could end the school year feeling as energized as you started it?

Have you already declared this the summer to finally figure out how to do things in a way that doesn’t drain you all year long?

Are you ready to press reset but have no idea where that button is?

Look no further.  We’ve got the button.

The Healthy, Happy, Sane Teacher: Sustainable Self-Care for a Successful School Year is what you need to make teaching joyful, next school year delightful, and living a balanced life not just possible but in your control.

Join me, Tami Hackbarth, and Rosie Molinary, two former teachers trying to save you from the error of our ways, and a group of other committed Rock Star teachers in a virtual workshop experience to crush the things that hold you back, learn what will move you forward, and create an action plan that will make you healthy, happy, and sane while upping the magic you already deliver in the classroom.


We are starting a movement to empower teachers to claim their self-care and live more balanced and healthy lives.

The bonus?  Nothing suffers—not your personal life and not your professional life.  In fact, it will actually make you an even bigger rock star at your school while making you happier at home.

We know what you are going through and we have been there, done that with all the “solutions” that actually made things worse. Now, we have actually figured out what makes things better and we don’t want to keep those secrets to ourselves.  That’s why we are sharing them with you this summer in

The Healthy, Happy, Sane Teacher: Sustainable Self-Care For a Successful School Year.

Imagine having teaching veterans walk you through best practices for self-care, letting go of the pressure for perfection, understanding how to name and claim your intentions, checking in with yourself when things get tough so you know how to tweak things, understanding what boundaries to set and how to set them, and the power of claiming your life.

Imagine having a thoughtful group of like-minded people with whom to share your experiences and dreams as you move past exhaustion and overwhelm and into expansion and possibility.

Imagine inspiring guidance that actually has you lay out a plan now so that you can actually do less with more when next school year starts.

We are offering you five weeks of powerful learning, action taking, and life changing reflection because, while it wasn’t covered in your certification program, it is what you most need to sustain yourself as a teacher.

HHST is a five-week virtual workshop experience for passionate teachers who do so much brilliantly but are looking for a way to continue to be brilliant while not working SO hard.

It will be fun.  It will be clear.  It will be a wonderful community.  And it will be just what you need to create a lesson plan for you to teach and work in a way that allows you to live and enjoy all of your life.

What would it feel like to know that you can start next school year with all of that hope and none of the dread?

Wouldn’t that be amazing?

It is time.

You are ready to be a healthy, happy, sane teacher if…

You are ready to be honest with yourself.

You are ready to do things differently.

You are ready to keep your promise to yourself.

You are ready to allow less effort to actually create more success.

You are ready to prioritize your own care.

You are ready to create and live the life you have imagined.

The Schedule

There are 2 Healthy, Happy, Sane Teacher Sessions.

Pick the one that is best for you!

Session 1 runs Thursdays, July 11th through August 8th from 12 pm until 1pm EST/ 9 am until 10 am PST.

Session 2 runs Thursdays, July 25th through August 22nd from 8 pm until 9 pm EST/ 5 pm until 6 pm PST.

What’s Included?

5 Illuminating Phone Workshops- Weekly one- hour phone calls on a conference call line where we’ll provide powerful guidance for you on creating a healthy, happy, sane life and map out the steps for the action plan you will be creating and putting into place.

5 Empowering Emails- Weekly inbox wisdom to guide you in your healthy, happy, sane process.

5 Powerful workbooks-  Weekly workbooks landing in your inbox with all the exercises you need to create you healthy, happy, sane life action plan and the guidance to help you put it all in motion.

A Private Facebook Group- This group will provide you with accountability and encouragement as you embark on this journey to create the professional and personal life that you desire.

Are you ready to change your teaching life so you can change your whole life?  Are you ready to be a healthy, happy, sane teacher?

Register now for Session 1 or Session 2.

$149 but get it for the early bird rate of $97 until June 15th and act fast because group size is limited in both sessions!

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So You Think You’d Like To Teach Part 2: Time Management

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Here’s part 2 of the So You Think You’d Like to Teach School series. The idea for this series came out of some questions I’ve gotten from folks interested in making teaching their profession.

Time Management

My first couple years of teaching were intense and exhausting – mentally and physically.  Changing my career in my early 30’s meant I had something to prove {at least to myself} and so I set out to be the best teacher ever.

The first few months of my new career I went to every single afternoon, evening and weekend teacher training offered because I wanted to, no, needed to KNOW IT ALL – NOW!  As a result, I worked a ridiculous number of days in a row without a break.

Something like 62. Completely nuts, I know now.

I assigned loads of homework and stressed out about the mountain of ungraded work quickly filling my otherwise empty filing cabinet. {I ended up just tossing it all in the recycling bin ungraded at the end of the year}.

Days started before sunrise and most nights I came home ravenous after dark.

I agonized over lesson planning, parent interactions, and special education plans.

Even though I had a mentor and was married to a teacher who kept telling me to slow down, to take care of myself and to understand I was still learning, I just kept going and going and going.

Looking back, I’m not quite sure how I survived.

I set out to be the best teacher ever and instead I got strep throat by Labor Day and pretty much stayed sick all year.

Strawberry Twizzlers were consumed by the pound.

I gained weight, slept horribly and developed an enviable case of stress acne.

My stomach was constantly in knots, as was my back.

My students were nervous around me, by winter break I was convinced I didn’t have the energy to finish the school year and someone’s mom called me a bitch at Open House {true story}.

Why am I telling you all this?

I hope you can learn from the mistakes I made my first years and learn how to take care of yourself while you are becoming the best teacher you can be.

How much time did I put in to teaching my first year?

All of my time. I wouldn’t let myself have any fun. I just worked. I barely had time to groom myself because I was completely obsessed with school work.

My friends told me they felt like school year widows because they never saw me anymore.

Would I do it like that again?

I would hope not! Old perfectionism habits are hard to break, but my aim would be to not run myself ragged.

Here’s the thing, teaching is like a marathon – slow and steady really does win the race. It is physically, mentally and emotionally impossible to sprint a marathon.

Time Management Tips for New Teachers

Do not expect to know it all right away (or ever). That is ok. You are human and a beginner. Be nice to yourself.

Look beyond your school for help and community. You may find kindred teaching spirits online, so develop your tech muscles. Twitter has changed the way I think about teaching. I no longer feel completely dependent on those people I know in person to give me some direction in my classroom.

Ask for help in your classroom – what can you delegate to parents? Some really do want to help.

Suggestions for things in the room and ideas for things for them to take home:

  • grading quizzes
  • filing your papers (if you choose to handle your papers like this)
  • updating your class website or blog
  • updating classroom bulletin boards
  • writing your class newsletter (edited by you, of course)
  • making copies
  • making academic posters for your room
  • organizing class parties/field trips/class speakers/libraries
  • teaching art lessons
  • coordinating the garden project you’d love to do, but simply don’t have the time to do all by yourself
  • reading one-on-one with students
  • running a math center station
  • tutoring students with specific gaps – addition/subtraction facts, fluency.

Ask yourself what can you do LESS of? Grading homework? Having perfectly crafted bulletin boards may look lovely, but it is worth your sanity?

Decide what you how you will handle your papers before you get your classroom keys- I was astounded my the sheer volume of papers coming into my classroom. Please for the love of god, whatever you do, don’t just pile it on the corner of your desk or dump it in a filing cabinet. Take it from me, you’ll want to make it a priority to only handle papers once. Also: get a huge recycling bin.

Seek out a mentor who you admire their work/life balance – again, you may find this person online rather than at your school site.

Set a time limit for the number of hours you will work each day and then stop. Finally in my third year I decided I had to leave school by 4:00. I could work a little at home and on the weekends, but 4 was my school limit. I found after that I was just spinning my wheels, chatting with other teachers and generally not getting much accomplished anyway. I promise, the work will wait for you.

Exercise daily. Can you combine obsessive teacher talk (we’ve all got it at some level) with a brisk walk? One of my friends walks every morning before school with her grade level partner thus killing two birds with one stone.  Absolutely brilliant if you ask me!

Go to bed early. About 5 years ago while trying to battle yet another illness, I started going to bed in the 9 o’clock hour instead of 10. Changed my life! So much less need for caffeine and sugar when I am properly rested.

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Did I miss anything? If so, leave me a note in the comments.

Stay tuned for upcoming topics in the series: Classroom Management, Taming the Homework Beast, Parents: Friend or Foe?

In Case You Missed It Edition, Volume 16

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Each week I’ll give you links to posts that made me laugh, cry, think or at least raise an eyebrow. Please click the links and check out the posts. You may find something that rocks your world too.

Leave me some feedback in the form of comments below on what you liked, what you hated and what you’d like to see more of. I’m here to help you find the best of what is online.

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My Best Of…

Teaching Simplicity got it right with Nurturing the Nurturer – teachers take note. Take the time to take care of yourself. Of course, we need to take care of ourselves when we’re sick but wouldn’t it be nice to nurture and nourish ourselves so we don’t get sick?

Another reason to get more zzzzzzzs…. to look prettier! It’s scientific.

Having a hard time thinking of things to add to a gratitude list? This blogger writes a thank you note a day and some of what she is thankful for is not the usual. Love, love, love it.

Are you a sunflower too? I find I perk up like a blossom with the lengthening days. Here’s a sunlight calendar to help keep track of your daylight minutes.

In Praise of Slowness by Carl Honore {one of my favorite reads of the last few years} – he talks about it here. Slow down and stay awhile…

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Cleanse update:  a cold takes away a lot of desire to cook nourishing food. I really wanted someone to cook for me.

So I ate out.

Twice.

I didn’t follow all the rules, however I didn’t give in to all my comfort food throw backs either. I wanted a cheeseburger (I know, huh?). Instead I had a burger sans cheese. I ate some of the bread and threw the rest away.

The next day I went to a pot luck and skipped the dessert and soda table – my usual favorites.

The bowl of M&M’s sitting right in front of me didn’t go untouched, however after I realized I was eating sweets (the cold medicine made me really, r-e-a-l-l-y s-l-o-w), I hid them behind the centerpiece on the table and promptly forgot about them.

Baby steps.

Things I have noticed: comfort food isn’t just about the food when I am sick, it’s also about someone else cooking. Processed foods are convenient, but don’t taste nearly as good as not processed foods. My cold isn’t nearly as devastating as ones I’ve suffered from in recent years. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

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That is the In Case You Missed It Edition for this week, folks.

Remember to click the links and leave some comments. This is a conversation, you know.

In Case You Missed Edition Archives -click it to see them all.