Category Archives: A Yoga Story

43 Books: A Short Guide to A Happy Life by Anna Quindlen

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As part of my 43 Before 43, I’m reading 43 books.

A Short Guide to A Happy Life is a very quick read that gave me pause.

Let me start with what I liked about the book:

  • The title. So many key elements for wanting to read this book: short, guide and happy.
  • It mostly felt fresh and heartfelt.
  • She talks about being in sole custody of your life. – In my mind both daunting and exhilarating.
  • She talks about living a full life beyond work, school, achievements and developing your soul. – I couldn’t agree more. There is so much more to life than working.
  • I read it in less than half an hour – (plus I could add another read to my list!) – and it left enough of an impression I wanted to tell others about it.

An excerpt and my favorite part: 

But you are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on the bus, or in the car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account, but your soul.

A couple of things that weren’t my favorite:

  • In some places it felt a bit dated (published in 2000). Post 9/11 writing has a different feeling.
  • The quotes definitely have been used a lot since publication – example:  “No man ever said on his deathbed I wish I had spent more time at the office.” – Paul Tsongas

The all important question – would I want to be friends with the author?

Yes. She seems to have a lot to teach (and so many books for me to catch up on).

Should you read A Short Guide to a Happy Life?

Yes. I think most of us could use a bit more happiness in our lives and development of our souls.

Have you read A Short Guide to a Happy Life? What did you think?

Taking Nonviolence One Step Further

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Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence, but also internal violence of spirit.  You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.

– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

We have been exploring the concept of self-acceptance all month in class and last week I reminded students of the first yama (rule) of yoga- ahimsa or non violence.

When most people think of violence, images of war or fist fighting come to mind, but when it comes down to it listening to your inner critic can also be considered a form of violence.

Wouldn’t life be so much happier if we all stopped hating ourselves and other people and started accepting ourselves and others for who we are?

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Want some tips to get you started on your self-acceptance journey?

Image source: Wikipedia

Inspiration for Self Acceptance Self-Study

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definition of self acceptance

This month in class, I’ve been asking students to explore the concept of self-acceptance and have been met with nervous giggles,  sighs of knowing recognition and blank stares. I’m pretty sure most people starting or returning to yoga in January thought we’d be talking about “real” resolutions like losing weight or starting a fitness program and finally sticking to it.

Instead I’ve been asking people (myself included) to practice being ok with what is, right now. Seems simple. Until you try it and are met with various layers of distraction or resistance.

I know these intimately because I’m practicing this too! So today I’ve decided to share my resources for self-study on self-acceptance for this month.

Podcast:     I love a good dharma talk. Recently I’ve discovered Tara Brach, an American Buddhist teacher/author of Radical Self-Acceptance, and I’m inspired. Finding True Refuge is definitely worth a listen.

Do you have any dharma talks that you love? Please let a comment so I can listen too.

Book:    Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance by Rosie Molinary.

Friends, I have been “trying” to read this book for years. Fact: It’s been sitting on my to-read self for years. Basically, I’ve read every other book on every other shelf and avoided this book.

What’s been the resistance? The daily practice part – I’m only now learning to love that learning is a process rather than something you either do or are.

The self-acceptance part. Truth: I felt I didn’t need it. I believed I loved myself. Or at least that’s what I defensively told myself, dammit. And then I got quiet and realized I struggle with feeling good enough. It’s a very quiet, but extremely pervasive voice.

Adding to this crazy is how I absolutely devour all of Rosie’s blog posts and our adoptive mama correspondence. I love her. She has so much wisdom and I have learned so much from her.

So I’ve been soaking up all the daily lessons. This time just reading, but I think this will turn into a journaling practice. Or maybe a series of posts and reader challenges.  There is some damn good stuff in here.

As it turns out, self-acceptance – at least how Rosie defines it – isn’t so scary after all!

Favorite exercises so far include:

Name Your Inner Critic – I’m thinking Blanche.  As in, “For god’s sake Blanche, just shut it all ready.” We’ll see.

Realize That Your Dissatisfaction Is Not About Your Body

Banish “Have You Lost Weight?” From Your Vocabulary — my friend Rebekah wrote about this here.

Have A Comeback

Consider the Time You Have Lost

Quiet Your Critic

Go To Bed Earlier

Schedule Breaks

Are you intrigued? Want to have a book club with Beautiful You? We totally could do one online. Leave me a comment if you are interested.

Blog:     Curvy Yoga is always on my must read list. I love Anna’s list of 15 Books that Shaped My Body Lovin’ Journey.

I highly recommend reading:

Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (really all her books).

Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott (really all of her books)

A Path With A Heart by Jack Kornfield (my favorite is The Beginner’s Guide to Forgiveness)

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

I want to read:

Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

Mega Yoga by Megan Garcia

Yoga From the Inside Out by Christina Sell

Do you have any acceptance or yoga books to recommend?

Tell me – how is your resolve to be with what is going?

Image source: Pinterest

A Resolution for Self-Acceptance

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reloveution

In preparation for planning my yoga classes for the month of January, I settled in on the notion of resolutions or the need for change. I, myself, have made countless promises to myself to finally get it right this year.

Each New Year, I promise myself and set out to to become the new and improved version of me, one with no more of those pesky flaws I tend to worry about when no one else is paying attention. I suspect they may be too busy running themselves into the ground to worry about me.

As most of us have made resolutions each year and wholeheartedly and with great enthusiasm pursued our freshly flossed teeth, countless miles on the running trail and ingesting everything green in the grocery store, only to burn ourselves out by February and return to our previous state of unflossed teeth, couch/channel surfing and emotionally eating comfort foods because we have once again failed to change ourselves for the “better”.

What if we decided to do it differently this year?

What if we resolved to spend all our enthusiastic January energy into accepting ourselves for how we are, flaws and all?

What would life feel like in February?

In Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance, author Rosie Molinary, challenges readers to Accept Your Imperfections  and to “give up the perfection facade and just be who you are.”

This, my friends, is my challenge to you this month. And by you, I mean me.

Can we just practice letting things be as they are and learn to finally accept who we really are?

What are your thoughts or resolutions and self-acceptance? I would love to connect, so please let me a comment.

Also, if you’d like to practice letting things be, I am teaching restorative yoga at It’s All Yoga on Sunday afternoons from 4:30-5:45.

Image source: pinterest

Word for 2013

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This time of year, a lot of people are setting intentions and making resolutions, myself included most years.  As it turns out, I’m less good at resolutions than one would like. So rather than doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, I’ve decided to try something different.

This year I’ve decided to go with a single feeling/theme I would like to cultivate in my life and not just another list of do’s and don’ts.

This feeling idea had been floating around in my head all month and was solidified when I overheard some yogi friends talking on Twitter about their year words {listening and compassion}, when Ashlee posted hers, Amy posted hers and Rosie posted this.

The feeling I most want to cultivate this new year is CONNECTION.

Connection – just the word brings up warm and fuzzy feelings for me. I am imaging a year full of new holiday traditions, lots of hugs and hand holding, cooking and eating with friends, snuggles under the covers with books and movies, book club meetings, phone/Skype dates, road trips/vacations, meeting friends for tea, lunch and movies, communing with nature as much as possible and finding time on my mat just being quiet.

What about you? What comes to mind when you hear the word CONNECTION? What word or theme speaks to you this year?

Image source: We Heart It

How I Overcame the Holiday Humbug In 7 Steps

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image source: we heart it

I have a long history of hating the holidays. All of them, but especially the ones the last six weeks of the year.

Yes, even as a kid.

Maybe it was the high expectations for fun or the knowing one side of your family was disappointed because you were with the other or the shuttling from place to place to place…

In any case,  the holidays used to fill me with dread and a heavier dose of SAD than the average gal.

That is until recently.

Three years ago, I signed up for a Yoga for Holiday Stress workshop at It’s All Yoga with my good friend, Madeleine. I thought if nothing else, I will have a nice day of yoga with one of my favorite teachers, but what I ended up with was nothing short of revolutionary.

The best take away from Madeleine’s workshop: if the holidays get you down, find new traditions that make your heart sing.

New Holiday Traditions Maybe You’d Like to Try:

1.    Take a yearly workshop in December – mine is yoga, but maybe yours is cooking, crafting or reading. Do something fun for yourself either with a friend or on your own. You may even make new friends there.

When will you find the time in an already stuffed full calendar you ask? I started saying no to things that weren’t working for me any longer (or never had and I had been doing them because of tradition or other people’s expectations). Once I started saying no, I was able to find time to do activities that made me happy.

Was it uncomfortable at first? Oh, yes! Disappointing people isn’t my strong suit, however, the trade off ended up being worth it.

2.   Listen to holiday music that doesn’t make you cringe – mine is the Do They Know It’s Christmas (best.song.ever) station on Pandora. They played lots of Wham’s Last Christmas and Bruce Springsteen and Bing Crosby and Elvis. Even the Waitresses made the cut. Now when little Ruby hears Christmas music she pumps her little fist in the air and dances along.

As cute as you might expect.

3.   Make a different kind of tree each year – seems like a lot of work I know, but knowing my little monkey will climb anything and every thing the idea of putting a tree in my house just seemed completely nuts. Plus I’m less into the 3D tree than most. Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at them a lot – in public places and at your house…. kinda like how I love other people’s dogs.

4.   Saying no to shopping – what???? I know. But hear me out.We have a really small house and we’re trying to keep the clutter monster from eating us alive, so not bringing more gear into the house ourselves helps toward that end.

The Hubs and the Girl’s birthdays are in December so those two are presented up right before Christmas. We usually make a present of some sort of the grandparents (which requires us to get our act together way before December) and we decided years ago to forgo presents for each other so we can have less stress and get better birthday gifts. We see it as a win, win. Plus our girl is tiny right now and doesn’t really get the present thing, so…. we’ll check in later on this business. But just know, for now, it totally works for us.

5.      Saying yes to experiences – the zoo on Christmas Eve morning, White Christmas on the big screen, walking around midtown looking at Christmas lights. I’m hoping to add seeing the Nutcracker and ice skating once little girl is a bigger girl. I figure we are saving lots of time cutting out baking, shopping, and wrapping, so we might as well have fun.

6.     Healthy eating and walking daily – this one is new this year and I feel so much better because of it. Every morning this month I’ve been drinking warm lemon water as soon as I get up (before !) and drinking either a green smoothie or vegetable soup to start the day with lots of vitamins and fiber. What a huge difference this has made! I don’t know about you, but when I start my day in a healthful/intentional way, that’s usually how my day goes. I think I’ll keep it up after the holidays.

7.    Stay mindful. Or at least keep coming back to the moment. This is a good practice all year long. Most moments are pretty darn good, if I’m leaving the past and future where they belong. A mindful practice can look like a formal meditation sit, but usually looks more like a nature walk in the early morning or washing dishes for the thousandth time.

Tell me about the holiday traditions and winter activities that you love. I’m always interested in adding new fun winter activities to our calendar.

10 Ways To Practice Self Care

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Earlier this fall, Ashley of Our Little Apartment – wrote a post called How I Practice Self-Care and I have been inspired to share my self-care regimen.

Before we get to the good stuff, can we all have a collective groan/shutter/giggle at the phrase self-care? I am not a fan, but it is what it is. Being able to take better care of ourselves so we can really be there to take care of others is what is up. Like it or not.

Without further ado, 10 Ways To Practice Self Care.

10 easy ways to practice self care today

1. Go to yoga class. I go even when I don’t want to. Especially when I don’t want to. I find the more resistance I have to going – too tired, too cranky, too busy, too…, the more I need it. My people thank me for going. Yours probably will too.

Classes can be expensive, but there are ways to work around that. Practicing at home on your own, with a video or podcast. Attending community classes or classes with new teachers. One studio in Sacramento is by donation only. When I wanted to go to more classes than I could afford, I started volunteering at the front desk at my yoga studio in exchange for classes. It never hurts to ask.

2. Lay down often. Sometimes on my yoga mat with props (and I feel very virtuous for practicing restorative yoga on my own) and most days with my daughter in her bed for a couple of hours. There are days (usually in a row) when I am so tired by nap time I sleep with her and wake up with her patting my face and other days when I watch Netflix or catch up on my blog reading.

Most nights I am in bed ready for sleep in the nine o’clock hour. Going to bed on time is a struggle and I know it’s early, but I’ve got to be rested in order to keep up with the baby.

How much sleep do we really need? Probably more than you think.

3. Cook at home. I derive a huge amount of accomplishment from having cooked, so there you go. Plus I am allergic to dairy and oh so many other foods that eating out or packaged foods is a pain. Feeding myself well and gold stars? Sign me up!

I live a dairy-free life and am always in search of yummy recipes. If you are interested in my treasures, check out my Food Finds Board for recipe ideas.

4. Read a book every day. Some days it is just a few pages, but I make sure I do it. Reading is what makes me happy.

Looking for something good to read?

5. Go for a walk. Usually with Ruby in the stroller or Ergo, although recently I’ve been having her walk to wear her out for her nap. In any case, my feet are hitting the pavement every day and I feel so much better for it.

Need help getting started? 

6. Connect with friends. Park dates, walks with kids, brunches, yoga classes, texts, phone dates, Facebook messaging – I make time for connecting with people I love.

The upshot of 50 years of happiness research is that the quantity and quality of a person’s social connections—friendships, relationships with family members, closeness to neighbors, etc.—is so closely related to well-being and personal happiness the two can practically be equated. People with many friendships are less likely to experience sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, and problems with eating and sleeping.   Source: Happiness Is Being Socially Connected

7. Kid-free time – daily. Luckily my husband is a teacher and can come home in the afternoon to take care of little girl before dinner. Mama needs some time to herself. Most of the self-care tips mentioned here aren’t for toddlers.

8. Couple time – this is new. Very, very new. And may become my new favorite thing. Thanks, Grandma!

9. No television news or women’s magazines. I’ve learned I’m a pretty delicate flower prone to depression, so I keep the visuals of depressing things to a minimum. I get my news from NPR and Twitter. I’m fancy that way. My ears do not betray me the same way my eyes do.

Body acceptance is always a work in progress and so keeping women’s magazines full of air-brushed images and “tips” for “improving” me out of my life also helps.

According to one study conducted by researchers at the Uni­versity of Missouri, after just one to three minutes of exposure to the types of images routinely found in women’s magazines, young women hate themselves more than they already do. Source: Excerpt from Airbrushed Nation found on Rosie Molinary’s blog.

10. Ask for help where I need it and live with good enough rather than seek out perfect. Recently someone posted on my Facebook wall a card saying “Cleaning house with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.” Um, yes. So twice a month California Green Clean comes and cleans while I take the tiny mess maker out of the house. It usually lasts until the next meal, but it is totally worth it for my sanity alone.

Does the mothering olympics make you crazy? Check out Good Enough Is The New Perfect.

So tell me, how do you take care of yourself?

How Restorative Yoga Healed My Body Image – A Guest Post from Anna Guest-Jelly of Curvy Yoga

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How Restorative Yoga Healed My Body Image

Let’s party like it’s 1999.

Or, let’s at least go back there in our minds. Picture this: I’m a curvy gal in my first year of college. I’m away from home. I have terrible migraines (this is nothing new). I hear that yoga can be good for pain, so I somehow get my hands on a Rodney Yee VHS tape and start practicing.

Only when my roommate is in class. Always with the door locked.

As I practice, I like it. I love it, in fact (which is weird because I have never liked any form of anything that looks remotely like exercise). So I want more of it — but I want more of what I see on the videos.

More tone on my body, more gymnast-like flexibility, more speed — more, more, more.

More to Less

As the years went by, I did get more of that — mostly the speed and flexibility. But then things shifted in my body: my curves got curvier, and I couldn’t go as far into poses as I used to.

To say this was a hit to my already fragile body image was an understatement.

I think I took about a year off practice at this point. I was so discouraged that I couldn’t do the poses I used to that I thought I shouldn’t bother. I thought I had finally reached that point where I was just “too big” for yoga, so it was time to move on.

Except, of course, I couldn’t. I still found myself surreptitiously doing poses — but “just to stretch,” of course. Not yoga.

Gimme Gimme

During my more, more, more days, no one could have convinced me to do a restorative yoga pose. One of my teachers would teach Savasana and then leave the room; students could leave whenever they wanted. The intention was to give people the space to take their time.

I took it as the opposite, though. I usually reached for my car keys while we were getting into position. Then I would politely wait as long as I could and bolt for the door. I’d say on my more restrained days that this took approximately 42 seconds.

I just didn’t see the point.

But then one day after my self-induced yoga break, after feeling particularly stressed from work and school, I decided to indulge myself in a full restorative workshop. What possessed me to do this, I’ll never know. (I think I thought of it more like a massage than yoga, so that made it okay with me.)

All I know is that after the careful precision of set-up, the internal (and sometimes external) groan of delight after settling in and then fully letting go into the poses, something shifted.

I felt relaxed, grounded and centered. And, yeah, I wanted more again — but this time it was totally different.

Me Time

You see, restorative yoga is all about y-o-u (or, in this case, m-e). Everyone’s set-up is slightly different.  This is really the goal of all yoga, but restorative invites you into it differently. The goal is to make yourself as fully comfortable and supported as possible. This was new to me as I’d been “raised” in a yoga environment where competition wasn’t explicitly encouraged, but it also wasn’t exactly discouraged.

This restorative yoga was about meeting yourself exactly where you are — and loving every minute of it.

When I realized that, I felt a marked turn in my relationship toward my body. For the first time, rest, ease and letting go entered the equation. For the first time, self-care became my priority, not what I tried to avoid.

After that, you couldn’t get me out of a restorative pose if you wanted to (but who would want that anyway?).

Thank goodness.

Want the low-down on Anna’s restoratives? Click here to download the Restoratives chapter from her book, “Permission to Curve,” for free!

Meditation Mantra Or How To Stay In The Moment Without Losing Your Marbles

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Does your mind become really active and agitated in quiet yoga poses and when you sit in meditation? Like there is a pack of wild cracked-up monkeys living it up in there?

Me too.

My secret to not losing my marbles during quiet times is to give my brain a job to do while I am in a restorative pose or sitting for meditation. My now employed monkey mind brain can do a job while I keep my focus on the present moment – where the happiness lives.

What I say:

May I be filled with lovingkindness

May I be well

My I be peaceful and at ease

May I be happy.

I repeat this until my mind settles down or until my sit/pose is finished. Some days I am still saying it when the timer goes off and other days I am able to settle in and focus.

Why focus on my own well-being instead of wishing these things for others?

It’s exactly like what they say when traveling with someone who needs help on an airplane, take care of yourself first so you can take care of others.

When I say it:

I use this mantra during my sits and long stays on my mat. I also say it while I am driving somewhere stressful or on my way to work in the car or when I am wanting to punch the person at the grocery store in front of me in the head. These words also come in handy when I am lying down with my daughter wishing more than anything that she’d go to sleep already.

Basically when I feel my body get stressed out because of modern life, I try to quiet my monkey mind by repeating this mantra.

How to spread the love into the world:

After I feel all full of love for myself, I substitute the name of a person I love dearly where I had been saying I. Now that I’ve been practicing with this mantra for a few years, I am able to send some lovingkindness to others. Needless to say, it took me a really, really long time to get there.

That’s how I stay in the moment without losing my marbles.

What’s your secret? How do you stay in the present? Do you use a mantra? 

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Based on teachings from Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron and Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg

Image source: We Heart It.

All Together Now….A Long, Steady Exhale

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{via}

Michelle wrote an excellent piece about breathing called Epidemic Inhale. Please go read it.

No, really.

Go.

Read.

It.

Ok, while you were there did you follow her directions for a long, slow, steady exhale?

Feels good, doesn’t it?

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This is what yoga is for me now: one giant exhale.

A time and a place to just LET.IT.BE.

Reminders to pause, yawn, and be conscious of my breathing and how my body feels.

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It hasn’t always been this way.

I’m pretty sure most people are thinking I’m making funny shapes with my body when I’m “at yoga” and for a long time that is exactly what I did. The more difficult the class, the better.

I was ‘doing’ yoga, damnit.

But now, I’m focusing on the not doing. Letting things go. Asking myself what my body really needs in this moment.

More often than not, my body is craving rest.

And exhaling.

As a culture we spend so much going, going, going. Always pushing forward and racing from one project, meeting, soccer game to the next.  I am totally do this too. Even as I sit here with seven open tabs on my computer – including three email accounts, Twitter and Facebook.

So I rest.

You can too.

Ready?

All together now:

A long, steady exhale.

7 Steps to Jump Start Your Meditation Practice

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1. Read every meditation book you can get your hands on.

2. Think about meditation. A lot.

3. Sign up for a group meditation.

4. Collect meditation accessories – bolster, block, blankets, scarf, cushion, timer, candle, mantra, essential oils, CDs.

5. Check Facebook, Twitter and Google Reader to see if you are missing anything.

6. Check your phone. In case you missed a call.

7. Sit down, set the timer, press start.

SIT. {Really the ONLY step necessary}.

5 minutes daily to start.

We can do anything for 5 minutes a day. Even listen to the crazy people screaming in your head.

Image Source 1: We Heart It

Image Source 2: We Heart It.

Clearly this is my reminder to myself to sit.

Do you have a meditation practice?

Do tell me all about it.

You may also like: Tips and Tricks for Starting and Maintaining a Daily Meditation Practice.

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

Don’t Take It Personally and Other New {School} Year Resolutions

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New years just beg for resolutions in my opinion. Since my brain works on the school year calendar, new years start in the fall. By January I’m all resolutioned out.

Last {working} school year, my mantra/resolution/intention was to Not Take It Personally. This pretty much changed everything about my life.

In my quest to not take things personally, I managed to listen more than I talked, I quieted down, really listened and let other people be the expert (pretty major for a know-it-all like me) and I let go of things that weren’t working for me.

Work relationships got easier, parent interactions (something I struggled with in the past) were more clear, professional and well, easier.  Even my personal life felt lighter and more fun.

Since school just started in this house, I’ve been recently thinking about what my intention for this school year will be. I know I’m not in the classroom, so why have one? To be honest, since I’ve started having an intention for the school year my professional life has greatly improved in the areas where I put my focus. Plus  I’m already thinking about next school year and I’m getting a bit anxious.

Where will I be teaching?

What will I be teaching?

Who will I be teaching?

Will I secure a job share?

Where will Ruby spend her time while I’m at work?

See what I mean? So many unanswered questions with so many possible answers. So many, in fact, I’m not quite sure how to wrap my brain around all the possibilities and all these loose ends are already making me tighten and grasp and grab at answers. I don’t know about you, but I’m sure my best decisions are not made while totally stressing about the outcome.

So, what’s a teacher/planner/mama/not-so-secret-control-freak to do?

I’ve decided my intention for this school year is to say yes.

For me,

  • Saying yes means I am open to all the possibilities, even the ones I am not sure exist yet.
  • Saying yes, means not having to know right now what will happen next school year (or even next week).
  • Saying yes means not getting mired in the details and letting the unknown suck the fun out of life right now.
  • Saying yes means finding ease instead of grabbing, grasping and holding.

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So, friends, how do you handle the big unknowns in your life?

Do you make resolutions or set intentions during times of transitions?

Do you have any words of wisdom for a current stay-at-home-mama needing to send her bebe to childcare in the relatively near future?

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Image source 1: We Heart It

Image source 2: We Heart It

Awesome Yoga Happenings In Sacramento and Elsewhere

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Labor Day weekend. You are all invited. There is a good chance I’ll be teaching and I am totally going to class too. Join me?

Be sure to “like” Sacramento Free Day of Yoga on Facebook to get all the details.

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I wish I had a dime for every time someone asked about a book club. And don’t get me started on the scheduling!

Meredith from the Pondering Yogini has the answer: Online Yoga Book Club!

Join me?

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I know this isn’t happening until October, but I’ve already signed up. Anna is such an inspiration to me and I am thrilled to have a chance to practice with her.

Please join me and sign up today.

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Tell me about the awesome yoga happenings/events in your life.

Mother’s Day Gift Guide for the Yoga Momma

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Mother’s Day in the United States is Sunday, May 13th and I’m so excited because it is my first.

It’s recently come to my attention, thanks to Twitter, that Mother’s Day gifts need not be heart-shaped jewelry or flowers. Not that there’s anything wrong with those gifts (if you like those sorts of things), but not all mommas are into them.

So if you have a yoga momma in your life or if are a yoga momma yourself, here are some Mother’s Day gift ideas.

Photo credit: Vanessa Vitchit-Vadakan

Idea#1 – A Yoga Workshop

If I were to pick a workshop, I’d choose Mary Paffard’s Circles, Cycles and Spirals: Yoga and Ayerveda for Women’s Health.  It’s being co-taught by Mary and her daughter, Cyd on Sunday, June 3rd.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of taking a workshop with Mary, I highly recommend it. She’s wickedly, yet understatedly funny, infinitely knowledgable and is a huge proponent of rest. Clearly a teacher after my heart. Plus she has a British accent!

Idea #2 – A One Day Yoga Retreat

One of my 43 Before 43 was to attend a yoga retreat. I’ve already been to two in the last six months. I’m telling you, this is the absolute best spa day ever. Way better than actually going to a spa.

Michelle’s retreat (July 22nd) includes restorative yoga poses, journaling, silence, a delicious vegetarian lunch and a whole lot of heartwarming community. I couldn’t recommend it higher. Simply the best way to spend a day.

Idea #3 – A Private Yoga Session

Have you ever wanted to get pointers on a pose that just isn’t quite working for you? Do you have an injury or are you recuperating from an illness? Have you ever wanted the teacher in a regular class to focus on a particular area of the body?

Those are some of the reasons to have a private session with a favorite yoga teacher.

 Idea #4 – At Home Yoga Practice with MY favorite teacher

Sometimes life gets in the way of going somewhere else to practice. Wouldn’t it be nice to have what you needed to get on your mat at home?

Not sure where to start?

My favorite teacher, Michelle, has some videos for what ails you.

Work on your computer too much? Try this heart openers class

Feeling scattered and like your feet aren’t quite touching the ground? Try this grounding class.

Idea #5 – Yoga Props for Restorative Yoga at Home

I’m not going to lie, these props make me a happy, happy momma.

Click on the image for purchase information.

This list turns out to be MY real Mother’s Day wish list. Obviously not everyone is in Sacramento and able to come to workshops at It’s All Yoga, but there are studios close to where you live that your yoga momma might want a gift from.

Happy Mother’s Day!

What’s on your wish list?

The Comparison Blues

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Truer words have not been spoken.

Friends, I’ve been quietly suffering from a serious case of Internet envy as of late and it’s made me a bit quiet and introspective.

This Twitter friend is buying a house! That Twitter friend is training for a half marathon! Those Twitter friends are having babies!

And just what am I doing?

Where is all my BIG LIFE EXCITEMENT? {I wonder very judgmentally.}

The interesting thing is I already have all those things. I bought a house (holy crap! over a decade ago), trained for a half (and almost made it to the race) and I HAVE a baby.

So what is up with the envy?

After spending many nap hours pondering this question, I’ve come up with an answer for myself which I will share with you.

The life I’ve chosen to live these days is a pretty quiet one. I’m not documenting every minute and sometimes it feels like don’t have much to say because people all over the world have kids and clearly what we’re doing over here isn’t revolutionary or mind-blowingly different from what everyone is doing. I didn’t invent motherhood and I’m clearly not pretending I did.

When I do try to document our little life my main partner in crime is either trying to smack my camera Sean Penn style, swatting at my iPod when I’m trying to tweet and yelling no, or running away from me.

In other words, I just can’t document my life and really be present with Ruby. Lesson learned.

Also, I’m not sure my readers, besides my mom (hi mom!), really care about the moment to moment action of me and the little bear.

This, I assure you, isn’t a cry for comments about how you really, really do want me to live-tweet my action packed mornings or write about the wackiness of new motherhood (more than I already do). I am just trying to get my head around my recent comparisons and the resulting bout of jealous gloominess.

To be honest, I feel better just admitting I was comparing my life to other people’s. Life is moving at a baby’s pace right now and won’t be like this forever, so I better slow down and enjoy it while it lasts.  Not in that everything is precious way, but in they are going to make me go back to work at some point and I will only get to hang with the little one after school and clearly I am so not ready for that.

Do you ever get the comparison blues?

A Reminder

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Recently I’ve been plagued by a serious case of the worries ranging from something life threatening happening to Ruby to future school yard bullies and everything in between.

A few minutes into my most recent session with my therapist and she reminded me what I already knew – when I focus on the here and now – life is pretty damn great.

So I’ve decided to make a choice to not worry now and to deal with stuff as it comes up.

Yes, I know this isn’t revolutionary. I needed the reminder and thought I’d save you some therapy bucks.

What’s on your mind lately?

 

 

 

Self Acceptance Through Yoga: aka Back Off Beeotch

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image: WeHeartIt

Today you’ll find me guest posting on Rosie Molinary’s blog. Please check it out and be sure to leave a comment to let me know you stopped by. Yes, it’s a reprint…one worth repeating if you ask me.

While you’re there please be sure to poke around in Rosie’s archives. She’s got a bunch of excellent work on self-worth, beauty, self-acceptance and adoption.

43 Books – Learning To Breathe: My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm to My Life

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As part of my 43 Before 43 I’m reading 43 Books.

photo credit: ponderingyogini.org

After a lifetime of panic attacks, author Pris Warner decided she would like the brain of a monk and all that comes along with it – peace, tranquility, compassion, loving kindness, wisdom and patience.

In Learning To Breathe, she takes a year to discover the path to peace.

Friends, I loved almost everything about this book.

I immersed myself in the author’s story and admired the author for facing her fears. I found her immediately likable and I really cared whether she would be relieved from her panic attacks in the end. Reading quickly over three days I was reminded of my own lifelong desire for inner peace.

Hmmm, maybe I need to get myself back on the cushion.

My only issue is I found it to be a bit tidy. What do I mean by tidy? The author decided she wanted the brain of a monk and next thing you know she’s on the path to a daily 20 minute meditation practice.

I have been struggling with adding meditation to my life for years, so I wonder how this happened so effortlessly. She didn’t feel any resistance or forget just plain forget? I need some of that!

That was my only beef with the book.

I sped through each chapter which covers a month and a spiritual practice aimed at resolving her panic attacks.

While I don’t suffer specifically from panic attacks, I do suffer from complex PTSD  and as a result have also used many of the therapies the author experiences in my quest to find a more peaceful existence.

The one hold out for me has been EMDR. As a result of reading about the author’s success, I decided to give it a try.

I may or may not be writing about that experience later, but I am hopeful that I will be able to move forward because if this treatment.

Do I recommend this book? Without a doubt.

Would I want to be friends with author? Yes, if for nothing else, to get some meditation tips.

Have you read Learning to Breathe? What did you think?

43 Books – Poser: My Life in 23 Yoga Poses by Claire Dederer

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As part of my 43 Before 43, I’m reading 43 books.

I am totally conflicted about this book. I didn’t put it down until I was finished despite having just come home with a new baby and a serious case of insomnia. And yet, I was irritated the whole time I was reading it.

Let me start with what I really liked about the book:

  • The title. I would have argued with the publisher to leave off the 23 poses part.
  • Each chapter is a pose name and the ones where the author tells about her childhood are called child’s pose – clever and it only took me half way through the book to figure that out. {see insomnia/stupidity}
  • The author and I each suffer from mama anxiety and use yoga as a way to find our sanity or at least a way to ease some of the pain in our aching backs.
  • Like most people, we both started out with a really physical practice and learned to quiet it down.
  • We are about the same age so our cultural references are spot on – apparently we love the 90’s.
  • The Pacific Northwest! I lived there (in the 90’s!) and could picture the setting perfectly.
  • Claire explores the others limbs of yoga besides asana and gets to the down and dirty of why yoga can be such a life changing practice.

So what was my problem?

I think I identified a little too closely for my comfort with Claire. This book could, in a lot of ways, be mine. Although at points it just sounds whiny and precious and all first-worldly and I wanted to smack both of us and quite frankly I’m not sure I wanted to tell this story yet (or ever), so it was shocking to see it on the page.

Claire’s yoga story is so similar to mine,  with all it’s twists, turns and complaints, I felt like she’d some how inhabited my most annoying self and decided to let that cat out of the bag. It just isn’t the easy breezy side I’ve been trying to cultivate for the world to see and I’m at once horrified to see all “my” crap out there and secretly thrilled I’m not the only one with this particular brand of crazy.

In a completely petty side note, the mention that her brother was in a band that was super popular in the 90’s (and she named the band!) bugged the holy hell out of me. Why? I guess because it seemed all star-f*ckery and it totally wasn’t relavent to the story. Brother? Yes. Name of band? No.

The all important question – would I want to be friends with the author?

Absolutely. At the very least we could talk about how great the 90’s were.

Should you read Poser?

Yes, if you are someone exploring yoga beyond a Saturday morning exercise class or is interested in a brief look into the history of the other limbs of yoga.

Have you read Poser? What did you think?

Hard Life Lessons From a Cowboy

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“It’s not really about the horses, is it?”

No, no it’s not.

That’s the thing about this documentary about a boy horribly abused by his father who grows up to embody compassion, kindness and generosity of spirit. It’s not really about the horses. It’s about the resiliency of this man.

I sobbed my eyes out watching the documentary Buck.

Like some serious ugly-cry crying. Thank goodness for Netflix Watch Instantly – boy, this would have been much uglier in public.

What can I say? Kindness of this degree brings me to my knees.

We have a lot in common, me and this guy. Childhood harms that could have turned us into monsters {or at the very least really damaged people continuing the abuse} and yet we both have sought a path to change how the harsh world operates.

At one point, Buck says, “Horses are the mirrors to our souls.”

Not being a horse girl {though my eight year old self would have loved to have been} I would argue so are children. They hold up a mirror to all of our ugly places and unflattering traits, the ones the other adults in our lives rarely see because they are too caught up in hiding their own.

Children (and horses) just keep giving us lesson after lesson about kindness, compassion, generosity and living in the moment. In other words, the lessons we need to keep practicing until they become second nature.

So while on the surface this seems to be a horse movie, it really is about making a life worth living.

Finding My Voice As A Parent: Also See STFU

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Alternate post title: Quit effing telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing with my kid.

Three months in and I’m already over people’s “helpful advice”.

Some advice for advice givers, just don’t.

Commiserating about being tired is welcome, but telling me things that start with “you should” or “you shouldn’t” or “don’t ever” isn’t welcome or helpful. What works for you and your family works for you. All kids, parents and families are different.

Including mine.

Recently someone asked me how I was and when I replied that I was exhausted because Ruby had been kicking me, hitting me and or bumping into me all night {while she was sound asleep}, the woman replied, “You shouldn’t be sleeping with your baby!”

My eyes stung with tears (from exhaustion and let’s be honest, being admonished). I said through clenched teeth – “Well, we are. It is our decision to continue bonding with our newly adopted baby throughout the night. We have made our decision about what works for our family right now and when you are parenting an adopted kid please let me know.”

In case you are wondering, I’m still pissed.

This comment implies I haven’t thought carefully about this (and every other) decision we’ve been making in regard to parenting Ruby. I have been weighing my loss of sleep and the rage that accompanies it (which is a whole other issue unrelated to Ruby) and wanting to make up for those nine and a half months she wasn’t with us {also see: the dark ages}.

I’ve agonized over the “cry it out” people telling me I could train her to self-soothe by letting her sob alone in her crib. Dude, I’m not going to do it.  So stop telling me how well it worked for your kid.

Friends, I’m new at this parenting thing and Ruby is a special girl with lots of people interested in her well-being. In other words, we’re doing this thing kind of more publicly than I’m comfortable with. Usually I like having at least a basic handle on things before I share them with the world. That doesn’t work in parenting. It changes by the moment and so does what works for your family.

It’s a lot like yoga in that way. What works for your body in this moment is what is right for you. Who am I to tell you are wrong because it looks different than what I would do?

I’m working on finding my own voice as a parent. As a natural worrier and as someone prone to deep feelings of shame over being “wrong”, please be kind and thoughtful in your comments about what I “should” and “shouldn’t” be doing.

Nobody likes when you do that.

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So tell me, how do you handle unsolicited advice?

Attitude of Gratitude Re-Cap

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Day 1 – thankful for Ruby and adoption for making us a family.

Day 2 – thankful for Jed – best husband and father.

Day 3 – thankful for sometimes waking up before the baby.

Day 4 – thankful for books. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t read and watching Ruby play with hers is the best gift.

Day 5 – thankful for healthcare coverage for my entire family and a clean bill of health for all.

Day 6 – thankful for sweater dresses and boot socks.

Day 7 – so thankful for my It’s All Yoga family.

Day 8 – thankful for generous friends.

Day 9 – thankful for a union job and parental leave so we can be at home to bond with our baby without worrying about our jobs.

Day 10 – thankful for massage.

Day 11 – thankful for the people in the armed services and their dedicated service to this country.

Day 12 – thankful for social media because it keeps me in touch with the outside world.

Day 13 – thankful for year round farmer’s markets.

Day 14 – thankful for long, hot baths after the baby goes to sleep.

Day 15 – thankful for music that inspires me to sing out loud.

Day 16 – thankful for the restorative powers of showers.

Day 17 – thankful for uninterrupted sleep in a way I never dreamed possible.

Day 18 – thankful for daily account summaries from my bank which remind me I’m not completely broke.

Day 19 –  thankful for warm cozy blankets for naps on cool days.

Day 20 – thankful for central heat (and air).

Day 21 – thankful for early morning walks with lovely friends.

Day 22 – thankful for all the blogs I read and the Google Reader to keep them organized.

Day 23 – thankful for my yoga props: bolster, eye bag, strap, blankets, mat.

Day 24 – thankful for Ruby’s birth family. Our family wouldn’t be complete without their generosity.

Day 25 – thankful for the middle path.

Day 26 – thankful for whole days with nothing planned.

Day 27 – thankful for free shipping.

Day 28 – thankful for our house cleaning fairies.

Day 29 – thankful for YOU, my readers.

Day 30 – thankful for It’s All Yoga for the Attitude of Gratitude inspiration.

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A special thank you to Amy Shearn over at The Oprah Life Life blog for the Attitude of Gratitude post.

Want to see where it all started?

What are you thankful for?

Me Vs. Sunday

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I’ve always hated Sundays.

For me, Sunday marked the death of my freedom and were a weekly reminder of my responsibilities. Each week I’d dread the eventual coming of Sunday because it marked the end of doing what I wanted to do and began the obligatory chores: laundry, meal planning, food preparation and after a my career change, lesson planning.

I felt like my life was a series of Must-Dos instead of May-Dos.

Each week, I’d mourn the loss of my freedom.

Crazy as it sounds, some weeks I’d start feeling the loss on Friday night. You know, because the end of the weekend was right there, especially if I had a lot of things planned over a weekend. Even if they were fun plans, the cloud of dread hung over my head.  A feeling of dread was my constant weekend companion.

So what happened to change my feelings about Sunday?

First, I quit my former career. The perpetual stomach ache disappeared, my insomnia lessened and my stress level decreased dramatically. Nothing like dropping an ill-suited career to bring a person back to life!

Starting my career in teaching was exhilarating and for the first couple years I was running on 100% adrenaline – even on Sunday. Nothing to dread because I was too busy still working.  Nothing could stop my perpetual forward motion, except of course, for every single virus that walked into my classroom. Needless to say, I spend the first few years of teaching is  a constant state of frazzle or on my deathbed sick.

As my husband told me over and over again (in regards to teaching)- you can’t sprint a marathon.

Three years ago, I started attending the Church of Yoga class held on Sunday mornings at It’s All Yoga. {It’s not really called that, but that’s what it feels like to me}.

90 minutes of glorious yoga community connection: poetry, asana, meditation.

It is a beautiful thing.

Recently, I’ve been attending the Church of Quiet.

{Sometimes not even on Sunday.}

So what’s this Church of Quiet?

The tiny spa in the basement of my gym houses a steam room, dry sauna and whirlpool tub.

{Shhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone. Hardly any one ever uses it.}

Once a week (if I’m lucky) I sneak down into the basement wrapped in my blue sarong I bought in Thailand (I’m modest that way) without my glasses and I get myself a cup of cold water and step into the steam room.

The hot, wet heat rises from the floor and envelopes me into its quiet. And I breathe.

When I run out of water or can’t stand it any more, I open the door and feel the relief of the cool room.

Another cup of water and I go into the dry sauna. For some reason I can’t figure out, I love the smell of the sauna. Laying down on the dry warm wooden bench, I close my eyes and breathe.

When I run out of water or can’t stand it any more, I open the door and feel the relief of the cool room.

After filling my cup once again, I turn the dial on the wall around the corner from the whirlpool.

I kick off my flip-flops and step into the deep, hot water. Letting my head rest back on the tiles, I close my eyes and breathe.

I know it is time to get out and head to the shower when the bubbles come to a rest.

All told this little spa day takes less than an hour, but restores me to better than new.

What about you? What do you do to restore yourself?

Letting Go of What Used to Be and Embracing What Is

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Today I have plagued with a touch of sadness of what used to be. I’d get up, get ready, go to work and come home and do whatever I felt like doing. Sometimes going to yoga, sometimes watching TV and sometimes talking for hours on the phone with girlfriends in other cities.

I’d also work on school projects and connect with other teachers about lessons for my class and respond to emails from families.

Connecting with others through blogging and social media online and in person were some of my favorite things to do. Who doesn’t love a long lunch or an extended happy hour?

The only thing controlling my time and how I spent it was me.

Even my husband didn’t make a lot of demands on my time. We somehow fell into a comfortable flow of me time, them time and our time over the course of our decade and a half long relationship.

Fast forward a month + into parenthood and it’s dawning on me that I’m not the one in charge anymore. In order for me to meet the needs of my family I need to simply be available to them when they need me. And for now, they need me most of the time.

While I am no longer able to be spontaneous and available to others, I am answering the call of a little dependent person. Something I’ve never done before.

I feel like I am disappointing others because things are not what they used to be and I’m sad to have to let go of my identity of always reliable go-to friend and feel a bit disappointed in myself for not being able to have things like they were.

And yet, really happy to have my new role as mama.

For now  – I am increasing my tolerance for other people’s disappointment. {The words of my lovely friend Michelle from Love Wasting Time}

So I am trying to let go of what used to be and embracing what is and trying not to contribute to my own suffering for wanting things to be any different than what they are.

I am hoping this isn’t sounding like a whiny rant or a plea for sympathy, I am just noticing a huge, yet subtle change in my life and thought I would share.

How do you embrace change in your life?

How did you transition into your role as a parent?

Today We Rest

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The Nap Taker

by Shel Silverstein

No – I did not take a nap –
The nap – took – me
off the bed and out the window
far beyond the sea,
to a land where sleepy heads
read only comic books
and lock their naps in iron safes
so that they can’t get took.

And soon as I came to that land,
I also came to grief.
The people pointed at me, shouting,
“Where’s the nap, you thief?”
They took me to the courthouse.
The judge put on his cap.
He said, “My child, you are on trial
for taking someone’s nap.

“Yes, all you selfish children,
you think just of yourselves
and don’t care if the nap you take
belongs to someone else.
It happens that the nap you took
without a thought or care
belongs to Bonnie Bowlingbrook,
who’s sittin’ cryin’ there.

“She hasn’t slept in quite some time –
just see her eyelids flap.
She’s tired drowsy – cranky too,
’cause guess who took her nap?”
The jury cried, “You’re guilty, yes,
you’re guilty as can be.
But just return the nap you took
And we might set you free.”

“I did not take that nap,” I cried,
“I give my solemn vow,
and if I took it by mistake
I do not have it now.”
“Oh fiddle-fudge,” cried out the judge,
your record looks quite sour.
Last night I see you stole a kiss,
Last week you took a shower,

“You beat your eggs, you’ve whipped your cream,
at work you punched the clock,
You’ve even killed an hour or two,
we’ve heard you darn your socks.
We know you shot a basketball,
you’ve stolen second base,
and we can see you’re guilty
from the sleep that’s on your face.

“Go lie down on your blanket now
and cry your guilty tears.
I sentence you to one long nap
for ninety million years.
And when the other children see
this nap that never ends,
no child will ever dare to take
somebody’s nap again.”

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Today we rest. I’ll be at It’s All Yoga, but feel free to join me in spirit while you are at home.

Also, if you’d like to come try a class during November, send me a message or leave me a comment and I’ll get you a card.

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How are you resting today?

Free Yoga In Sacramento During November

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Interested?

All you have to do is ask me for a complimentary class card *** and promise to USE IT during November 2011. It is good for any class at It’s All Yoga, not just mine.

Why am I doing this?

A) Free yoga is good for everyone.

B) The teacher with the most new people coming in to the studio with their cards wins a massage with Kate Sullivan at Anatomy of Massage.

Win, win!

*** – cards are for new people only (or people who haven’t been to the studio in a year or more)

Sorry for those friends and students who already go to the studio. I’ll come up with some other giveaway or contest later.

Promise.

Attitude of Gratitude

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On Tuesday It’s All Yoga posted on Facebook:

For the month of November, we’re launching an Attitude of Gratitude campaign. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, you’re invited to dedicate one Facebook update per week to write what you’re thankful for.

We’ll go first: “We’re thankful for the beautiful ginkgo trees in front of the studio whose butterfly leaves will turn their signature golden yellow in just a couple of weeks. (It’s All Yoga Attitude of Gratitude)”

What do you say, will you join us in cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude? Be sure to tag It’s All Yoga in your posts so we can “hear” you. :)

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Well, I misread that as sharing what you are thankful for EVERY DAY. I guess the Twitter #30DaysofThankfulness hashtag seeped into my brain and now I’m in.

Ever since reading Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project {3 times!} I’ve kept a one sentence journal. While I don’t write in it every day, when I do go back and reread it I am once again filled with gratitude.

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At the end of the month I think I’ll compile my list and publish as one post. For now, I’m posting daily on Twitter and on Facebook.

Want to join me? Just post to Facebook or Twitter and be sure to tag me.

Happy November!

At Home Yoga Retreat {and Mini Restorative Yoga Class}

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This coming Sunday, November 6th, instead of teaching my regular Sunday Snooze restorative class at It’s All Yoga, I am lucky enough to be able to participate in the Emotional Rescue Retreat with Michelle from Love Wasting Time. {Don’t worry regular Snoozers, I’ll be back in the first Sunday of December}.

Check this out.

The purpose of the retreat is to:

• restore
• be pampered
• be in silence
• slow down, tune in, and align with your higher purpose
• reflect on the upcoming holiday season
• give yourself permission to take a day, just for you

A day of restorative postures, journaling, breath-work, discussion, meditation, an organic lunch and the support of a circle of women. Held in the sanctuary of the It’s All Yoga studio.

Sounds good, huh?

Want to join me in this day of retreating in the comfort of your own home?

What you’ll need:

45 to 90 minutes {or whatever you can do}

a quiet spot where you can be alone or with other retreaters

comfy, warm yoga clothes

yoga mat

pillows

blankets

eye pillow or dark scarf

ear plugs

blocks, bolster and straps if you have them {no biggie if you don’t}

quiet alarm

Or if you find this list to be too much, just yourself and a way to keep time.

To begin:

Turn off your phone, unplug your computer and shut off the TV.

Bring mat and all your props with you – including your quiet alarm.

Lie down in Constructive rest – flat on your back with knees bent and feet flat on the floor hip distance. Knees can be hip width or rest toward each other – whatever feels comfortable for your body. Hands can rest where they are comfortable.

Stay here and breathe normally 10 minutes.

When your alarm sounds, bring your knees to chest and gently rock side to side.

Find your favorite savasana (corpse) position using all the props you’d like. Some suggestions: knees over a bolster or pillow and covered up with a blanket, legs up the wall, a bolster running the length of your spine and soles of feet together with pillows/rolled blankets under the knees for support.

The idea is to make yourself as comfortable as possible so you can just relax. {For more information on restorative yoga}

Stay here and breathe normally for 30 minutes.

Yep, 30 minutes.

What if you fall asleep? You are probably tired.

What if your to-do list is suddenly in the fore front of your mind and you feel as if you must get up NOW? Let it go and know it will wait for you.

What if your mind jumps from topic to topic to topic? Just notice the breath coming in and out of your body and try to watch your mind instead of hanging on to each story.

When will the 30 minutes be over? In 30 minutes.

When your alarm sounds, gently awaken your body. Wiggle fingers and toes, slowly roll ankles and wrists, stretch arms over head and catch a deeper breath and maybe a yawn.

Wake yourself as if you’re sleeping in a really nice hotel and you have absolutely nothing to do.

Roll to the side – and rest – before you use your arms to push yourself to a comfortable seat on the floor.

Write about your experience while drinking a warm cup of your favorite tea and enjoying a healthy lunch.

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Have you ever taken a day for restoration? How did it go? Please share your tips, fears and thoughts.

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At Home Yoga For New Mamas

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In my pre-baby life I read somewhere that only doing yoga in a class setting was like exclusively going places by being driven around in a limousine. At some point, you are going to have to learn to drive if you want to get where you want to go.

Enter the home practice.

Friends, I’m not going to lie. Practicing yoga at home is hard, especially when you’ve been spoiled with excellent teachers like I have.

Where do I start?

What should I do?

What poses do I do?

How long do I do it for?

What does my body need right now?

What the hell does that even mean?

When practicing at home was first brought up in my yoga teacher training I may have actually guffawed. The joke is now on me.

I now have a home practice. I’m pretty sure it looks different from yours or his or hers, but I have one.

What changed?

I started teaching restorative yoga regularly (first Sunday of the month and needing to feel what I was teaching) and getting myself a baby thus limiting my time outside the house alone.

What does my home practice look like?

Depends on the day and what hurts or needs my attention.

Sometimes, like say when my brain is on overload or I’m so tired I can hardly stand it,  I simply lay in Savasana (corpse) with Ruby on my chest while she has a nap. Since I usually don’t fall asleep, I just rest and try to quiet my mind without obsessively checking my Google Reader.

Sometimes, if my back hurts from all the constant forward bending and lifting from chasing an active 10 month old around,  I will lay in Savasana with a bolster under my shoulder blades while she’s snoozing with Papa. If I don’t have a bolster around I use a rolled up blanket, towel or pillow. When my back is particularly sensitive, I’ll keep my knees bent and feet on the floor to have the stretch be a bit more gentle.

To come out of the heart roll, be sure to roll to one side off the support and rest for a minute or two before using your arms to help you up.

Other times, I’ll sneak in some gentle neck rolls, an easy twist or a puppy while playing on the floor with her

Every so often, I’ll let Ruby lead and we usually end up in Happy Baby.

What about you? How do/did you take care of yourself when your baby came home?

What Scares Me Most…

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Before I got my teaching credential, at my husband’s insistence, I spent some time working as a substitute teacher. One day, while working in a kindergarten classroom I heard a voice outside my head say what, up until that point, had only said inside my head.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

I paused, looked up from the group of adorable kindergarteners sitting at my knees and made eye contact with the speaker.

Huh?

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

Huh, that’s what I thought she said.

She made some hand motions and gave directions on how I could correct what I was doing.

I turned the book upside down from where it was and like magic, right.

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The important part of this story is the absolute absurdity of that sentence being said to me out loud by another adult.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

And yet, in the moments right before I fall asleep these days, this exact thought is whispered in my own head.

YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

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Apparently, I’m afraid I’m going to do it wrong with Ruby.

In my rational brain, I can clearly see this isn’t true. I know there isn’t a wrong way or a right way. There are just ways that work today and those that don’t. Things that work better for some kids and things that totally don’t work for that kid (and so you stop).

But it’s not my rational brain telling me YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG. 

I’m pretty sure this is my inside voice, the one I’m not even clear who it belongs to.

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The other night in yoga class, Michelle, talked about the concept of satya or truth. What is true for your body today? What stories does your inner voice tell you? In other words, what kind of shit talking goes on about your limits or fears?

She said something about how the ego/bully voices are loud, aggressive and mean. The voice of truth is soft and kind, like a friend’s voice.

If you would like to listen (or play with idea for yourself, you can listen here).

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So here’s the deal on the comments today. I’m going to ask for what I need and what I don’t.

What I need: Please share how you talked yourself off this particular ledge – the abject fear of DOING IT WRONG. If you haven’t gotten off there, share that too. Knowing other people are afraid of the same things makes me less afraid.

Or you can simply tell me what scares you most.

What I don’t need: Reassurances that I’ll be a good mama, that’s not the issue, it’s the FEAR I’d like to address.

Teacher Goes Back To School Turns Two!

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To celebrate Teacher Goes Back to School’s 2nd birthday today, Jenna from This is My Happiness suggested I participate in the My 7 Links project.

Before I share my favorites, I’d like to say thank you for all the support and love {and comments} over the past two years. What a joy it has been. I’ve made connections with new friends and deepened connections with old friends. So much love.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So without further ado..

The most beautiful post:

How honest is too honest?

The most popular post:

Meet Ruby: 32 Months In the Making

The most controversial post:

Yoga Isn’t All Fucking Sunshine and Rainbows

The most helpful post:

It Could Happen To You

The post whose success surprised me:

Profound Moment  — Paying Attention to the Details

A {series of} post{s} I felt didn’t get the attention it deserved:

Yoga Manifestos

The post that I am most proud of:

Pregnant for 21 Months and Counting

So those are my picks, dear readers.

What are your favorite TGBTS posts?

FREE Restorative Yoga – TODAY at 4:30

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Dear Sacramento Friends,

Surprise!

I’m teaching a bonus yoga nap class today at It’s All Yoga and you are all invited!

It starts at 4:30 and goes until 5:30. Coming to the studio a few minutes early to get set up would be lovely.

No yoga experience needed.

Not sure what I’m talking about when I say “yoga nap“? Click the link to find out all about it.

Leave work early and come on by.

You’ll probably want to sign up online to make sure to reserve your spot.

See you soon!

Love,

The Teacher

Celebrate National Library Week! Books I Love: Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood

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Here at TGBTS, I’ve been anxiously awaiting the arrival of this book. For years, I’ve been curious about working mothers and how they do it all. It turns out the answer depends on the woman.

While not yet a mother, I am a woman born between 1965 and 1980 looking for greater happiness and balance between work and home.

Are you?

If so, you need to read this book. It’s written for women just like us.

Hollee and Becky surveyed more than 900 women and conducted in-depth interviews with over 100 of them about their thoughts on working and parenting. This book is the result of their research as well as expert research on marriage, feminism and business. Hollee and Becky’s personal stories are intertwined throughout the chapters.

The unexpected twist? For me, it reads like part my own personal history book (my neck hurts from nodding my head in agreement) and part yoga book.

Yoga?

Yep, possibly an unintended consequence, but I kept thinking about my own yoga practice of self-compassion, kindness and letting go while I was reading this book.

Some examples of the yoga in Good Enough is the New Perfect:

You can do anything – this doesn’t mean you have to do everything. 

(Yoga translation: What does your body need in this moment?)

Delegate: say no.

(Yoga translation: Did someone say pull up a bolster and rest?)

Knowing when to move on means knowing yourself; the answer is different for each of us.

(Yoga translation: there is no right way to do a pose).

Consider your history when making your choices – but don’t let guilt or other women’s choices dictate your own.

(Yoga translation: Keep your eyes on your own mat. Who cares what is happening on the mat next to yours?)

There’s nothing wrong with “easy” – just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s more valuable.

(Yoga translation: fancy side arm balances don’t make you a better person, or yogi)

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Want to read this book? Click on the picture above for pre-ordering Good Enough is the New Perfect on Amazon.

Want to learn more about Becky and Hollee? Check out their blog.

On Twitter? You can follow Hollee and Becky.

Want to meet Hollee in person? Sacramento friends, stay tuned for details!

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A GIVEAWAY! Have you entered to win Tales from the Yoga Studio yet? Click here to see how to be entered.

In Case You Missed It Edition, Volume 26

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Each week I’ll give you links to posts that made me laugh, cry, think or at least raise an eyebrow. Please click the links and check out the posts. You may find something that rocks your world too.

Leave me some feedback in the form of comments below on what you liked, what you hated and what you’d like to see more of. I’m here to help you find the best of what is online.

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I had the opportunity to take a two day workshop with my teachers’ teacher, Mary Paffard, this weekend. We worked on the 5th and the 3rd chakras. It was delicious.

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My Best Of…

“If there is one thing I pride myself on is my common sense, my complete imperviousness to all things zany and new age.” – from Listen to the Quiet Within by Tim Parks. Ed. note: Did I write that?

Mary Paffard has been teaching for over 25 years and she still gets the wobblies at times. This article is her attempt to share ways of working with the wobbles and to see how one can explore this “asana’ just like every other yoga challenge to enhance ones practice and self-reflection. — Heebie Jeebies of Teaching – brilliant.

Other articles from Mary include: Breathing into the Feet, Bobbling the Head: Balancing the Head on the Spine, and Befriending the Belly. – Get some, friends.

Want to take a class with Mary, but you aren’t in California? You can! Here’s the link for her DVD and a review.

“Paffard, a long time yoga teacher in Northern California, expands on the familiar with her meditative approach to yoga practice….Her instructions are clear, detailed and thoughtful, informed by her many years of Buddhist Vipassana meditation…” – Richard Rosen – Yoga Journal, June 07

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Curvy yogis Photoshoot/ Yoga Journal Talent Search Update:

The Perils of Success – Madeleine kicks out more brilliance this week, friends. Oh my.

Anna from Curvy Yoga has posted the Curvy Yogis Gallery of Greatness (my name for it). Have you checked it out yet? So.much.beauty.

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Speaking of curvy (and not) Northern California/Sacramento friends – are you coming to the nextSwapAsana?

{April 23rd- start saving your swapables now.}

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That is the In Case You Missed It Edition for this week, folks.

Remember to click the links and leave some comments. This is a conversation, you know.

In Case You Missed Edition Archives -click it to see them all.


Yoga Journal Talent Search – It’s Time to Vote!

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Are you ready to see the photo I sent into the Yoga Journal Talent Search?

Click HERE to see.

While you’re there, feel free to vote for me!