Life Lesson From My Mom

Love_Yourself

I tried so hard not to roll my eyes at my mom when she shared this bit of wisdom with me as a teenager.  In fact I’m pretty sure I almost pulled a muscle from trying not to roll my eyes in front of her. I didn’t want to be rude, but really.

What could my mom possibly know about life?

She is, well, my mom.

So on we went. She pretended not to notice the eye rolling and I pretended I was listening….

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

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Recently I was lamenting that I wish someone had told me the secret to a happy, healthy life and it hit me.

Someone had.

My mom was right.

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

If you don’t love you – and treat yourself well – how will anyone else?

People can only love you as much as you love yourself.

You may be saying, “of course I love myself! Who doesn’t?”

But really it comes down to this.

Self-care is a direct indicator to how much you love you.

  • If you aren’t making your own care a priority – are you really loving you?
  • If you are constantly exhausted from putting everyone’s needs before your own – are you really loving on you?
  • If you can’t remember the last time you felt rested, relaxed, refreshed, nourished, nurtured and abundant – are you really loving on you?

The secret to a healthy, happy life is self-care. The secret to loving your life is self-care. The secret to feeling loved and nurtured and nourished is, you guessed it, self-care.

Self_Care

Self-care matters because WE matter.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Of course.

Before I started taking care of myself, I mean really taking care of myself, I thought I was going to have to quit teaching – a job I absolutely love and believe is my calling – because I was so unhealthy, and unhappy.

I was working all the time, not making time for friends or family or fun. I was fueling myself on adrenaline, caffeine and sugar. I was skipping exercise and skimping on sleep – while suffering from massive anxiety and insomnia – just to keep my head above water. I thought I was doing the right thing because if you constantly feel behind, you just need to work longer and harder. Right?

Fast forward to a few years into the job. I was exhausted – physically and emotionally – and when my principal finally stepped in for an intervention of sorts — he asked me if I was happy being a teacher and my answer was to sob in his office. I knew the jig was up.

I had to change what I was doing.

Enter restorative yoga.

What is restorative yoga?

Restorative yoga can be thought of active relaxation. It is different from the yoga you’ve probably experienced before. The biggest difference is that in restorative yoga we lie down with blankets, bolsters, blocks, straps, sandbags, over chairs and make ourselves very comfortable for up to 30 minutes per pose.

Yep, we lie down and relax our bodies and minds. That’s the yoga.

In other words, probably the most difficult part of the class/practice is making it there on time or actually setting aside time to do it. Or not falling asleep. Or weeping because you can’t believe how tired you are.

If you can easily get down on the floor and up again, we’re golden. We get comfy on the floor and let the props do the work. Our job in restorative yoga is to relax the body and hopefully the mind will follow.

Other people may have a more technical explanation, but I feel like lying down with the purpose of relaxing the body and brain is a good way to put it.

People have asked why I get so much out of a practice that essentially looks like I’m laying on the floor quietly doing nothing.

It does seems silly. Until you do it for a while and you realize some things about yourself.

Here are the Top Five Things I’ve Learned About Myself By Doing Restorative Yoga — click over to the Arise and Be blog to find out what I learned...

Remember what my mom said – people can only love you as much as you love yourself.

How can you show yourself some self-love today?

Tiny Tips Tuesday: In Case You Missed It Edition! Volume 49

Dear Friend, 

I’m off again! This certainly has been the summer of travel. So while I am out of town, please enjoy some posts I have loved in my Feedly lately. These are the best of the blogs I read, so please click the links and enjoy!

in case you missed it vol 49My Grandpa’s Matches and Why You Shouldn’t Save ‘the Good Stuff’. Such a great reminder that now is the time to live your life and that you are worth ‘the good stuff’.

How to Say NO. I am pretty sure we could all use a little more practice saying no to things we don’t want in order to say yes to ourselves.

How to Change Other People. Wouldn’t that be nice?

If You Want to Write a Book, Go to a Boring Place

Give Yourself a Break This Summer: Buy Two of Everything. So simple and yet…

Let Amazon Help You Better Navigate Your Local Library. If I bought every book I read, I’d be really poor and have no where to sit.

How to Live a Perfect Life in Three Easy Steps. I like how there is really only 2 steps and they are both spot on.

Talking You Into NO. What can I say? People have been talking to me A LOT about needing to figure out how to say no to things lately.

How to Say NO to Everything Ever. More tips. Take them if you need to.

How to Get Back on Track When You’ve Totally Lost the Plot. I love her colorful choice of words.

Penny in Your Pants. I posted this on FB but in case you haven’t seen it yet.

For Habits: the Strategy of Accountability – the research behind creating new habits. God, I love Gretchen Rubin.

We Must Say NO In Order to Say Yes. Ahem.

But Seriously, Stop Being an A$$hole to Yourself. It doesn’t help anyone. Especially you.

Ready to Break Out of Negative Thinking?

Hope you are well.

With lots of love and compassion,

Tami

xo

PS – If you find this helpful or know someone who would, please be sure to pass it on. Sharing is caring!

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

Other posts you might like:

The Secret to Being a Happy Classroom Teacher

Learning to Set Boundaries and Getting More Comfortable Being Less Agreeable

Road Map for Resilience: 8 Steps to Get You Back on Track

Tiny Tips Tuesday: Cool It Down This Summer with a Mini Restorative Yoga Retreat

Dear Friend,

I wanted to personally invite you to my restorative yoga mini retreat workshop Saturday, July 26th. The class is limited to 18 students and we’re offering a pretty sweet deal if you register before the workshop.

If you already know you want to come, please click here to register. You will need to click the Workshops tab once you are on our online scheduling system. 

Below you’ll find all the details, but if you still have questions, please be sure to hit reply on this message and I’ll do my best to find an answer.

Hope you are well.

With much love,
Tami

If you wish you could hear from me every week with tips and tricks to help make life healthier, happier and a bit more sane, sign up for my weekly Teacher Goes Back to School newsletter HERE.

If you know anyone who you think would benefit from or like this post please be sure to forward it on to them.

cool it down details

Cool It Down – Summer Restorative Mini Retreat Workshop with Tami Hackbarth at It’s All Yoga

 When: 2:30-5pm Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Where: It’s All Yoga 2405 21st Street, Sacramento, CA 95818

Investment: $50 before the workshop $65 day of the workshop

Register now: This mini retreat workshop is limited to just 18 participants.

Beat the Sacramento heat this July with a cooling and rejuvenating restorative yoga retreat. Let’s cool it down and relax into a mini retreat right here in Midtown.

We’ll spend the afternoon in a cooling oasis of restorative yoga poses using blocks, blankets, bolsters, straps, sandbags, eye pillows, the wall and and sometimes even a chair to hold the body in deeply relaxing poses to relieve tension and stress while inducing your body’s natural relaxation response.

With the help of essential oils and chilled river rocks we’ll soothe the internal summer fire naturally bringing the body back into balance. In addition to this cooling and balancing restorative yoga practice, you’ll also enjoy some cooling and balancing treats to eat and drink.

This is a work shop of deep self-care, nurturing, healing, cooling and balancing. It promises to be a super relaxing afternoon.

A quick note about restorative yoga. It works well when you feel fatigued or stressed out, frazzled or after having a life change or hectic summer season. While the restorative poses look as though you are aren’t doing anything except laying on the floor, this is far from the truth; resting in a restorative pose deeply relaxes the body and allows the mind to settle in a state of calm and stillness.

The restorative style of yoga is appropriate for anyone, at any age, ability or experience level.  Previous yoga experience is not required.  We will provide the props.  If you want to bring your mat or any personal yoga props that you may prefer to use, please do. Dress comfortably in comfortable stretchy clothes.

 

Tiny Tips Tuesday: Stop and Notice the Little Things AKA 10 Things I Loved in June 2014

Dear Friend,

I am shocked how fast June went by and how absolutely exhausted I was by the end. When I looked back on the month I was surprised to find I had slept 10 of 30 nights in a bed other than my own – crazy for a homebody like me. No wonder I felt ungrounded and if I’m being honest, a bit grumpy. Well, that and several days over 100 degrees.

July is already shaping up to be a busy month as well, but I am on notice to take especially good care of myself. Hot weather brings up the irritable, nothing is going well feelings if I’m not careful, so I’m making special note to practice some cooling restorative yoga, drink some fancy coconut milk drinks and not turn the oven on.

How’s your summer going so far? I’d love to hear how you keep yourself cool and comforted in the summer – please send me a message.

With lots of self-kindness and love,

Tami xox

PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.

PPS – If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

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Links To Love:

Books I Love: Edward Tulane and The Dirty Cowboy

Will Yoga Help With….

Downtime Is NOT Optional

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For the last few months I have been doing these reflection posts after being inspired by Rosie’s posts. Taking time each month to reflect on the good things that happen each day/week/month has done wonders for my ability to actually stop and notice the good stuff.

10 things june 2014

Ten Things I Loved In June 2014

Things I/We Did

1. Curve Camp. 3 days of body positive yoga, three life-changing workshops with Rosie Molinary, Dyana Valentine and Vivienne McMaster, a photo booth, friendship bracelet making, tons of great food and so many laughs. I can’t wait to go again next year!

2. Kicked Summer of Intentionality into high gear. I am happy to announce I finished five books in June. That pleases me because reading makes me happy and I can get sidetracked and miss out on one of my life’s simplest pleasures. So happy to have made reading a priority again!

I’ve been making headway on the new website (OMG- so excited!), I am signed up for a Be Your Own Beloved summer class to gain some insight into liking what I see in my photos, we’ve been swimming lessons and hanging in the pool and our backyard dining table has been getting a lot of use.

Travel was definitely a theme in June. In fact, I slept 10 out of 30 nights in a bed other than my own. June felt like it went by really fast and now I know why!

3. Coached my first teacher in The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher. By now I’m sure most of you have heard about my and Rosie’s sustainable self-care program, but did you know we’re now offering live coaching services too? I did my first session in June and I LOVED it. Working one-on-one with people on their goals makes me happy. People can move so quickly toward where they want to be with a little support. It’s so exciting! Please send me a message (tami_hackbarth at hotmail) if you want more information or want to schedule a session.

4. Art Journal class with Brene Brown using the Gifts of Imperfection. Last fall I took part of of this class and did not finish it. I have a long story I tell myself about how I “never” finish anything and I won’t bore you with the details, but I was determined to not continue down this path. Instead I blocked time out of my schedule and made working on the extremely pleasurable exercises non-negotiable. Because who doesn’t have to MAKE themselves do things they really LIKE to do? God, please tell me I’m not alone…. Anyway, I decided to use my one bite of the apple technique to get through all the exercises in the class and I’m happy to report I FINISHED and I had fun and I felt accomplished. Plus now I have this really, really beautiful journal filled with exercises from one of my favorite books. I enjoyed the art part of the class so much I made watercolor and hand-lettering part of my Summer of Intention.

5. Connected in person. Can we all agree we love the internet and how we always know what is up with our favorite people? Can we also agree that people aren’t really showing us the whole story on social media and seeing faces and sharing hugs and meals and entire stories is really what life is about? Note to self: more face to face time. More hugs. More tears. More hand holding. More time together. Showing up matters. That PSA is a reminder to all of us, especially me.

Products and Services I Dug:

6. Gizeh Sandals by Birkenstock – I wear these so much I might just need to get rid of all of my other shoes. If you are on the fence because you just aren’t sure you want to wear Birkenstocks, just do it. They are so comfortable and you’ll constantly be high fiving all the other cute ladies wearing theirs. PS – I might need an intervention. I want them in every color.

7. Nordstrom Rack for bras. A while back I shared I have been wearing the wrong bra size (by THREE cups) for my whole life and so I went in search of ridiculously gigantic new bras. Add insult to injury because these new gigantic bras are also really expensive. Enter Nordstrom Rack (I love I’m getting my rack taken care of at The RACK)… you get all the expensive brands at significant discount and you get to try them on before you buy. I tried going the Amazon route (which wasn’t terrible), but I had to return every single bra I bought. Again, not the worst thing in the world because they make returns super easy, but I love some instant gratification of walking out of a store bras in hand. So if you find you are in need of some new bras, check out the RACK.

Books I Can Highly Recommend:

8. Flora & Ulysses by Kate DiCamillo

9. A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson

10. Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding

Bonus: Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

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So what are you loving lately? I’m always on the lookout for what is delicious in food, drink, fashion, and life. Let me know your favorites in the comments or write a post of your own and link back here.

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

Image Source: My Instagram!

Sustainable Self-Care (and 90 minutes of FREE coaching)

Dear Friend,

It’s here.

The real secret behind my sustainable self-care – The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher Home Study Program has finally arrived.

And it’s not just for teachers… it really can be for anyone who is looking to refine their self-care program and to feel more at home in their life.

We see summer as a chance to unwind from the rapid fire nature of the school year.  A chance to finally release all that tension in your shoulders.  A chance to decompress before the “every day feels like Sunday night” anxiety of the August back to school countdown clock kicks in.

change your life

We know you love your work.  We know you are living on purpose.  But we also know that how you are living while living your mission is probably not all that good for you.

Skipped meals.  Lack of sleep.  Too long to do lists.  An overworked mind frantically holding onto all the details.

What if it didn’t have to be that way? 

What if you could have a whole new way of being in the world WHILE still doing this work that you love?

What if you could set it all into place this summer so that next school year is a completely different experience than ever before?

It is time for you get to healthy, happy, and sane with

The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher: Sustainable Self-care for a Successful School Year Home Study Program.

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The idea behind The Healthy, Happy, Sane Teacher program is that with a bit of a time investment up front, your schedule – YOUR LIFE – will feel less overwhelming.

In the same way that long-term – semester or whole year – planning can help guide your academic year with your students, HHST can help you finally embrace self-care in a way that makes you happier and even more successful in the classroom.

How?

Just that – long-term planning.

The reality is taking time RIGHT NOW to plan for your health, happiness and sanity can help create a healthier, happier, saner school year and LIFE.

Here’s your chance to change how your school year goes, to start and end the year with enthusiasm and energy. To feel healthy, happy and sane.

With the home study program, you will get:

5 Illuminating Audio Recordings: One-hour recordings where we provide powerful guidance for you on creating a healthy, happy, sane life and map out the steps for the action plan you will be creating and putting into place.

5 Powerful Workbooks:  Weekly workbooks with all the exercises you need to create you healthy, happy, sane life action plan and the guidance to help you put it all in motion.

And the opportunity to join a private HHST Facebook group for additional support.

AND THERE’S AN INCREDIBLE BONUS OPPORTUNITY!

THE FIRST FIVE PEOPLE to sign up for The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher Home Study Program by July 1st will receive 90 minutes of coaching (to be done in either three 30 minute or two 45 minute phone/Skype sessions) from either Tami or Rosie.

Here is what every good teacher knows: nothing changes unless you decide to change it. It would be our honor to offer you support on your journey!

Click here to register today.

With lots of love and compassion,

Tami

xo

PS – If you find this helpful or know someone who would, please be sure to pass it on. Sharing is caring!

Other posts you might like:

The Secret to Being a Happy Classroom Teacher

Learning to Set Boundaries and Getting More Comfortable Being Less Agreeable

Road Map for Resilience: 8 Steps to Get You Back on Track

Tiny Tips Tuesday: Summer of Intentionality – To Learn

Dear Friend,

Have you started your Summer of Intentionality lists yet? I am super excited to report lots of people have reached out to say they are starting to think differently about how they spend their summer time and want to use their time a bit more intentionally. Please leave a comment or send me an email (tgbtsblog AT gmail) and let me know what you want to read, do and learn this summer!

A few friends contacted me to say my lists were kinda stressing them out because my reading and to do lists are pretty long. This is such a great point! My lists {especially the fun ones} are long on purpose.

I spend a great deal of time (as do you) dealing with the seriousness of grown up life that when I have some free time rather than having fun on purpose or spending time getting lost in a good novel I find myself at the bottom of a Facebook rabbit hole wondering where the last two hours of my life went. {Please tell me I’m not the only one….}

These lists are mostly a reminder to myself that fun doesn’t have to be super planned or time consuming, it can be as simple as eating our meals outside away from all the screens or laying on a blanket in the backyard reading another Mercy Watson book out loud to my daughter.

There is probably no way possible for me to finish all the items on my lists. In fact, that’s part of the project for me – to see what I actually do by the end of the summer. So much of my life has been productivity driven, at least for the summer months I want to be sure to mix in some fun. And to let go of the idea that if something makes my list that I am obligated to finish it.

I say BOO to that business. Summer is for fun! And reading! And learning! Without further ado…

to learn

TGBTS/Tami’s 2014 Summer To Learn List:

  • Webby things. It is my intention to have a sparkly NEW WEBSITE to reveal by Labor Day.
  • Instagram is my favorite social media site. I would like to learn how to use it effectively.
  • How to look good in a photo to myself. I will let you know when I figure it out. I think the answer might be different than we first think.
  • Positive Discipline techniques for my professional three and a half year old. It might involve locking myself in the bathroom.
  • How to prepare vegan salads (you’d think that would be a given….) that I want to eat every day of my life. I will share what I learn.
  • How to do some basic hand lettering and water color. Ever since I took an art journalling class I’ve been a little obsessed with water coloring and I’ve recently fallen down the let’s pin all the hand lettering pins rabbit hole.

I do hope you decide to make you own Summer of Intentionality lists. If you’d like to take a peek at some of my lists from the past click here.

With lots of love and compassion,

Tami

xo

PS – If you find this helpful or know someone who would, please be sure to pass it on. Sharing is caring!

Other posts you might like:

Leisure Stress Defined

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar (aka Cheryl Strayed

10 Things I Loved In March 2013

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).

Tiny Tips Tuesday: Make the Most of Your Summer – Part 2

Dear Friend,

Have you started your Summer of Intentionality lists yet? {Missed last week’s Part One: To Read post? Check it out here for details}…

summer of intentionality part two to doToday I share with you my Summer of Intentionality To Do List aka my list of fun things I want to be sure to experience this summer.

TGBTS/Tami’s 2014 Summer To DO List:

  • Take my daughter on vacation alone – Portland in June, Truckee/Tahoe in July, Minnesota in August. So I can go to Curve Camp in Nashville all by myself!
  • Ride the steam train in Tilden Park
  • Take my daughter on a city bus, a light rail and a train. She’s totally into things that go right now.
  • Read 100 picture books with my girl – already well on our way!
  • Make {dairy-free} ice cream
  • Kayaking at Lake Natoma
  • Read outside – at the park, at the pool, at the beach, in the hammock.
  • Attend at least 10 yoga classes at It’s All Yoga and use my Curvy Monthly classes at home.
  • Host a neighbor get-together – homemade ice pops me thinks.
  • Return to weekly meal planning
  • Daily meditation – already started!
  • River Cats baseball game
  • Family bike ride
  • Complete the library reading program with the little one. I sign up every year and have yet to finish.
  • Splash in a splash pad.
  • Swimming pool most evenings (and swimming lessons for the little one – already signed up)
  • Watercolor with the little one – already started. We both LOVE it.
  • Art days: paint outside on easel, paint vistas outside
  • Drive in movie
  • Fishing with the grandparents.
  • Wash car – at home and at the car wash.
  • Picnic lunches with post lunch rinse offs in the water table – already have done several days and everyone feels better.
  • Breakfasts outside with our lonely cat – such a great way to start the day! We’ve been eating outside for a week and I’ll be sad when it is over.
  • Patio dinners with friends.
  • Farmer’s markets on every day of the week – meaning go to new ones around town.
  • Play in the sprinkler
  • Go to the beach and play in the waves
  • Fly a kite at the beach and at the lake house.
  • Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge
  • Investigate the Crocker Art Museum
  • Visit Mendocino County grandparents
  • Visit Bay Area grandparents
  • Visit Minnesota grandparents
  • Build a sandcastle at the beach
  • Make sidewalk paint/chalk
  • Walk 100 miles
  • Drink fruit infused water – cucumber, lime, watermelon, pineapple. YUM!
  • Take a wagon ride
  • Family hike somewhere cool.

Are you noticing a pattern? Not a typical to-do list! A list of fun things that would get lost in the day to day of life (or in the air conditioned house watching endless hours of Sprout) unless we are intentional with our time.

I do hope you decide to make you own Summer of Intentionality lists. Please leave a comment or send me a message and tell me all about it. If you’d like to take a peek at some of my lists from the past click here.

With lots of love and compassion,

Tami

xo

PS – If you find this helpful or know someone who would, please be sure to pass it on. Sharing is caring!

Other posts you might like:

Teacher Travels: De Yound Edition

Teacher Travels: Academy of Sciences

Meet the Teacher

If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).