It’s been a long time coming, but my new website is finished.
Please come over to tamihackbarth.com and take a look around my new home. I can’t wait to see you there!
Thank you to Meredith Carty Sutherland for the branding, photos and website design.
Hey you!
We are hearing a lot of talk these days about self-care and many people are left feeling like it is just one more thing to do in their already packed schedule. We know what we should do, but something is keeping us from doing it.
Join me – Tami Hackbarth – , Holly Holt and Nikki Stern for an evening discussion talking about what self-care really is and how to bring more of it into your life and how to feel good every day.
You will leave the workshop with a new way of thinking about self-care and a plan to get started right away.
Please bring something to take notes and a pen.
TONIGHT! 6-7:30 Ella K. McClatchy Library – FREE!
Self-Care Now More Than Ever
Each week in 2017 I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. I love clicking through links in the round up posts of my favorite bloggers each weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!
An Introvert’s Guide to Handling Conflict – yes, please. I need all the help I can get. You?
How Yoga and Body Acceptance Can Guide Your Whole Year – I am currently reading Anna’s new book Curvy Yoga and shaking my head in agreement on every page. The biggest take away so far is body neutrality will get women to the point where they can stop caring about the size of their thighs and have the bandwidth to change the freaking world.
Want to Feel Happier at the End of the Day? Here’s a menu of actionable items to start today.
Women, Work, Creativity, Leisure and Time. Because Time is a Feminist Issue – 43-48 minutes. That’s why.
The Invisible Workload that Drags Women Down -….It’s just that her willingness to do it allows everyone else the freedom not to. We need to let our families have the chance to do more of the thinking. At my house I tell my hubs and kid that I “don’t want to hog all the good jobs” which is code for I don’t live here alone – pull your weight.
Women Still Do More of the Thinking At Home – second shift and the toilet paper fairy. These links remind me that I’m not crazy. I am just doing a whole lot of unpaid work.
I am taking my energy and making my views known – especially on Tuesdays – hence #takebacktuesdays
Here’s the background as to why I am talking about politics and the election (and, of course, also talking about self-care).
I grew up in a very diverse area of the SF Bay Area (Richmond) in the 80s and I studied political science and African American Studies in college. From age 20 – 31 I volunteered and worked on staff for: Planned Parenthood, Oregon NARAL, Pro-Choice America, a US Senator, a US House Representative, a CA Assembly Speaker, a statewide ballot measure about reproductive rights and more. I was a burnt out staffer and left politics to do direct service as a teacher in a high poverty school.
I am a lifelong feminist and activist at heart. Today’s reads are to inform and to soothe the soul.
Please take this as an invitation to learn more and GET INVOLVED in what is important to you.
“Our constitutional democracy
demands our participation,
not just every four years
but all the time.”
— Hillary Clinton, November 9, 2016
Indivisible: A Practical Guide for Resisting the Trump Agenda – put together by former staffers to get Congress to listen.
Weekly Acts of Resistance – need some guidance for your activism? I’m getting mine here. SO good I am including it again every week.
Call the Halls Guide – Contacting Your Representative the Right Way
I Worked for Congress for Six Years – Like an insider’s playbook in the form of tweets. Which turned into….
How to Effectively Lobby Your Congressperson – Calling your representative’s DC office might feel more natural because they are the office primarily responsible for managing legislation. However, the state office staffers are usually from your state and part of the community you live in—they are truly local. Also, state office numbers are less likely to be busy or have a long hold. Significant volumes of calls in a state office also require coordination by the DC and district office staff and get noticed right away.<–YES
This Is What Happens When We Stop Paying for Quality Journalism – Asha rocks it with some simple, actionable steps for further education.
The Day I Was Told to Leave America. It Was Last Week. – Christine talks about white privilege and gives a list of organizations that can use our support.
White Privilege: Unpacking the White Knapsack – I was first exposed to this at 21 (and it has recently been pointed out that most white people have never seen or heard of this) and was shocked how much privilege I enjoy in America based on the color of my skin. You might be surprised as well.
Post Election Plan from Edit Your Life Show – my favorite take away is programming my Congressional representatives district office phone numbers into my phone, so it makes it that much easier to make my weekly (or more frequent) calls. Super easy and actionable!
I’d love to know what you are reading (+ watching) and listening to these days.
I look forward to seeing you soon!
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I look forward to seeing you soon!
As part of my Summer of Intentionality I am committed to learning new things.
This summer I am committed to learning a lot for two reasons:
1. I am talking to as many women as possible about self-care and where they struggle for my 100 Women Project.
2. I am starting a new chapter of my personal and professional life. I just started working toward myCoaching for Life and Work Certification from UC Davis Extension.
As I start my new adventure I’d like to start talking to you about coaching: what it is, how it is different from other professions, and ask you what you’d like to know about coaching.
So….What IS a Coach?
According to the UC Davis Professional Coaching for Life and Work program, coaches partner with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires clients to maximize their personal and professional potential.
The International Federation of Coaching adds that coaches:
This process helps clients dramatically improve their outlook on work and life, while improving their leadership skills and unlocking their potential.
In my own experience with working with a coach, this is exactly what happened!
A few years ago I was stuck and feeling like old thought patterns were getting in the way of moving forward in life and business. I knew I needed help because what I had been doing wasn’t working anymore and I wanted to make changes in my life and business, not just stick to the status quo. I wanted to do my life differently than I had seen anyone else do it.
Luckily this was a time when my coach, Nikki Stern, came back into my life. We had met years before and during her time in the PNW, she became a certified coach. I was super curious about what she did and so I immediately signed up with her for a few sessions.
Before our first meeting Nikki asked me to write some answers to prepared questions to really clarify what I wanted to work on and during our in-person, phone and Skype sessions (all depended on our availablity). During our sessions, she asked me thought-provoking questions which lead to some pretty big epiphanies for me. And those epiphanies lead to some small changes that lead to huge shifts in my personal and professional life.
I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I hadn’t worked with a coach and I’m excited to learn how to help others in this way.
According to the IFC some of the benefits of working with a coach are:
– fresh perspective on personal challenges
– enhanced decision-making skills
– greater interpersonal effectiveness
– greater confidence
– increased productivity
– greater satisfaction in life
– setting and reaching goals
How is coaching different from other professions ie therapy, consulting, mentoring, training or athletic development?
Again, according to the IFC:
– Therapy deals with healing pain, dysfunction and conflict within an individual or in relationships. The focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past….
– Consulting: Individuals or organizations retain consultants for their expertise. While consulting approaches vary widely, the assumption is the consultant will diagnose problems and prescribe and, sometimes, implement solutions…
– Mentoring: A mentor is an expert who provides wisdom and guidance based on his or her own experience…
– Training: Training programs are based on objectives set out by the trainer or instructor…
– Athletic Development: Though sports metaphors are often used, professional coaching is different from sports coaching. The athletic coach is often seen as an expert who guides and directs the behavior of individuals or teams based on his or her greater experience and knowledge…
Coaches:
Coaching supports personal and professional growth based on self-initiated change in pursuit of specific actionable outcomes. These outcomes are linked to personal or professional success. Coaching is future focused. While positive feelings/emotions may be a natural outcome of coaching, the primary focus is on creating actionable strategies for achieving specific goals in one’s work or personal life. The emphases in a coaching relationship are on action, accountability, and follow through.
With coaching, the assumption is that individuals or teams are capable of generating their own solutions, with the coach supplying supportive, discovery-based approaches and frameworks.
The coaching process does not include advising or counseling, and focuses instead on individuals or groups setting and reaching their own objectives.
Though objectives are clarified in the coaching process, they are set by the individual or team being coached, with guidance provided by the coach. Training also assumes a linear learning path that coincides with an established curriculum. Coaching is less linear without a set curriculum.
Professional coaches possess these qualities, but their experience and knowledge of the individual or team determines the direction. Additionally, professional coaching, unlike athletic development, does not focus on behaviors that are being executed poorly or incorrectly. Instead, the focus is on identifying opportunity for development based on individual strengths and capabilities.
What else would you like to know about coaching?
So many questions for you:
– Are you inspired to start a Summer of Intentionality – what do you want to read, do and learn this summer?
– Have you or would you ever work with a coach?
– What questions do you still have about coaching?
I’d love to hear all about it. Hit reply and let me know.
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Hi! I’m so glad you are here.
If you are new, welcome! It’s nice to meet you.
And you you have been here a while, THANK YOU for being here again. I love that you are back for more.
When you join me, you can expect an essay on self-care on Wednesdays and on Sundays I send a roundup of self-care links delivered right to your inbox.
My friends, Nikki and Melissa, started a podcast called Pay Attention and I can’t get enough of it. In fact, I am geeking out on book pairings for each episode so keep reading to find my book picks.
Why am I so excited about Pay Attention Podcast? Well, first off, these are two of my great friends talking about stuff I dig:friendship, food, generosity + gift giving, receiving, money and hope.
Nikki + Melissa’s podcast very much remind me of another lady friendship podcast I love: Joy The Baker. (I highly recommend listening to every episode of this one too – all 137 episodes!)
I thought you’d love Pay Attention Podcast too, so I’m linking to each episode with some of my thoughts added with a BONUS book recommendation for each episode.
They have no idea I am writing this post, so I hope they get a kick out of my commentary.
Pay Attention Podcast with Nikki + Melissa
Episode 1: Friendiversary
You can listen to episode one to hear how Nikki and Melissa met and became friends. I love their business BFF story which has lead to real friendship.
I am lucky enough to call both of them friends as well! I met Nikki at It’s All Yoga about a million years ago and friended her on Facebook because I got a good feeling about her.
Do you ever do that? I recommend doing it. Yes, it feels awkward at first, but it can pay off quickly.
Anyway, once Nikki returned from the Pacific Northwest as a new mama with a kid my kid’s age, I decided we needed to hang out with our kids and so I asked her out on some mama dates and the rest is history. Turns out we have a lot in common – mostly life philosophy – and now co-host retreats together and try to hang out as often as possible.
Melissa and I met not too long after she and Nikki did. People from all parts of our lives kept asking if we knew each other and so we finally met for tea one morning where we, of course, ran into Nikki! It was clearly meant to be.
This episode reminded me of the book:
While neither Nikki, Melissa nor I was in search of a new BFF per se, this book talks about how finding female friends post college is a challenge. And with some effort and vulnerability you can add more awesome women to your friends tribe.
Episode 2: Food
Nikki + Melissa talk about making friends with your body by listening to the messages she sends to you. And then feeding yourself kindly and with so much love.
I love this because so many women struggle with food: too much, not enough, good food versus bad food and so many messages about food and not one of them helpful or kind. I love Nikki’s philosophy about food and connecting it to mood.
This episode reminds me of this book:
Like Nikki, Alex is a health coach (and was the girlfriend in Super Size Me). They share many of the same ideas about food and making friends with ourselves to improve our relationship with food and our bodies.
Episode 3: Gift Giving
This episode has me thinking about gift giving and how it hasn’t played a big part in my life. And how that might need to change. Gifts are definitely NOT my love language – even though I do appreciate getting them.
This episode reminds me of this book:
While this book is about a different kind of gift, I couldn’t help but include it here because Brene Brown’s work has been such a huge influence on my life as well as Nikki and Melissa’s.
If you haven’t yet read this book, please do.
Episode 4: Receive
Nikki and Melissa talk about the book The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen and how their lives have been changed for the better by learning to accept compliments and allowing others to give freely to them.
Admittedly, this book is a bit woo-woo and out of my comfort zone. Already though reading this book has changed my life in so many positive ways and I continue to dive deeper into this work.
This episode reminded me of:
I highly recommend this book to women who feel they have to do it all themselves and are burnt out and tired. She includes easy exercises to bring more help and ease into your life.
Episode 5: Money
Nikki and Melissa do some real talk about how they used to deal (or not) with their money and how once they started paying attention to it, more came to them.
I love this episode because honestly I struggle around money. Not so much not having enough of it, but in being afraid of it. Being in business for myself has revealed lots of outdated and untrue stories I have been telling myself about money and I’ve spent the last couple years facing my fears (slowly).
This episode reminded me of the book:
I have been slowly making my way through this book (and doing the exercises) in the tiniest book club (just me and one other friend) and I have learned so much about myself and my relationship with money. Whew! Let’s just say, I’ve got a lot of work to do in this area.
Episode 6: Hope
Nikki and Melissa talk about whether it is possible to be happy during sad and trying times in your life.
I can speak directly to this with a resounding YES. There is a huge caveat, it doesn’t happen by accident.
This episode reminds me of this book:
I read this back when it was released in 2003 and felt a deep sense of, well, hope. I might have to check it out again.
I’d love to know what is on your mind. Please leave a comment tell me all about it.
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Other related posts:
Featured Teacher Interview with Nikki Stern
Featured Teacher Interview with Melissa Camilleri
2 SPOTS left for June 2016!
Hey, friend!
Do you ever wonder why I do what I do? I shared some of my thoughts here if you are interested.
One of my big self-care “secrets” is cooking and eating at home. I air quoted that secret because it’s another one of those things we all know we “should” do, but many times don’t make the time, space or effort.
I’m endlessly curious about what people feed their families, so I’m sharing what I feed mine in hopes you’ll share your favorite recipes with me.
Today I am sharing with you some of my absolute favorite winter recipes. Each of these has been road tested by my family and given a huge thumbs up.
One of the biggest criteria for a successful recipe in my book, other than being super tasty of course, is that it is easy. I am a fan of non fussy, plant-based, delicious, fast food. So rest assured each of the recipes below meet all that criteria.
White Beans with Spinach and Sausage – I use Field Roast Italian sausage to keep it vegetarian friendly and this soup disappears almost as quickly as it comes together – less than 30 minutes start to finish.
Tuscan Vegetable Soup – another warm, hearty bowl of yum that comes together in under 30 minutes. I use vegan parmesan to keep mine dairy free, but my family loves using the real stuff for more flavor.
Cheesy Broccoli Soup – WITHOUT cheese! Nutritional yeast is magic fairy pixie dust and has made my dairy free life much more delicious. Again, this soup comes together in about 30 minutes and my kid claps when some ends up in her bowl. So easy! So delicious.
Red Lentil Coconut Soup – 30 minutes and this soup is perfect and ready to make your winter meal time tasty and beautiful. This is my go-to soup. I use bottled roasted peppers to avoid buying out of season and shave as much ginger into the pot as my kid will let me. This is winter comfort in a bowl. If you haven’t made this soup yet, please do. Or come to my house and enjoy some here. This is my kid’s favorite soup.
Roasty Soba Bowl – vegetables and lentils served over noodles with an easy and delicious sauce? Sign me up! I buy the steam packed ready to use lentils at Trader Joe’s to make this dish come together under 30 minutes.
For so many more tried and true recipes, please visit my Recipes to Make Again board on Pinterest.
I’m also going to share a few new vegetable recipes that caught my eye from Eat Your Beets. I haven’t tried these yet, but they sure look good!
Citrus and Honey Roasted Beets
Winter Kale Salad with Pomegranate, Almond and Cauliflower
20 Colorful Winter Salads to Eat Right Now
Butternut Squash Macaroni and NO Cheese
I’d love to know your favorite winter recipes. Please leave me a comment and tell me all about it!
I look forward to seeing you soon!
April 2016 (almost sold out!)
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June 2016 (almost sold out!)
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If you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.
In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).
So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Gabrielle shares her weekly roundup she calls A Few Things and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!
Gilmore Girls Revival is real!
How to Enjoy Work (Even When You are Busy + Kind of Overwhelmed). Good lord, YES!
10 Best Feminist Quotes of 2015 – thank you, Sarah!
The Ultimate Breakfast Sandwich. Quit it. I think I need a nap.
Why Slowing Down Your Kid’s Schedule Might Be a Good Thing. I have been thinking A LOT about slowing down this week.
6 Secrets for Warming Winter Smoothies to Help With Digestion – don’t freeze your chi!
In Order to Change Habits, You Need to Change How You Think About Yourself – THIS: Consider, ‘What kind of person am I and is this right for me?’ and not ‘This is what Steve Jobs did,’ or ‘Everybody should get up early and run.’
Pursuing change through sheer willpower is for amateurs; examine yourself, and real change will follow.
Avoiding Burnout in the Age of Busyness
7 Tips for Coping With Fewer Daylight Hours – perhaps slightly late for this year, but rumor has it we have plenty of winter left.
How to Set Boundaries from Brene Brown aka my secret BFF.
I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please leave me a comment and tell me all about it!
I look forward to seeing you soon!
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This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.
In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).
So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Tracy shares her weekly roundup she calls I Love Lists Fridays (also be sure to check out her photo roundup called My Everyday Life) and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!
7 Simple Ways to Read More This Year – check. check. check.
4 Tips to Keep Your ME Time When You Are a Momma – I definitely feel number one is my secret weapon. No woman is an island.
The Power of Restorative Yoga for a Cold – YES! At home with all the blankets and pillows you can find.
6 Feng Shui Tips To Bring Purpose, Intention + Clarity Into Your Home. – One of my college roommates teaches feng shui and has piqued my interest.
Swear Word Coloring Books – As a way to keep my hands and brain busy and to practice mindfulness around the house, I’ve taken up coloring. It worked great too as a way to pass the time int the car on a long summer road trip. I am pretty sure this will be mine! {save the date: 5/22 for a coloring date with me at It’s All Yoga}
The 15 Most Beautiful Places in California You Didn’t Even Know Existed. – I am a CA native and I didn’t know about these. Must change that stat!
Napping Office Chair – dude. Just yes.
The NOT To Do List: 15 Habits To Stop Now – What do you think?
A New Way to Increase Your Emotional Connection – would you try this?
I joined the club. Instagram made me do it!
I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Dear Friend,
Real Talk: January is not my favorite. I try every year to make friends, I really do.
Then inevitably I pick up a virus, can’t shake it for the life of me and then spend the entire month telling everyone person I see that I am never going to be well again. And coughing. THE COUGHING.
Sounds hyperbolic perhaps, but at some point early in every winter I am convinced I will never feel good again.
PS – I hate this part.
So I am hereby declaring:
Why am I telling you this?
Good question!
The first reason is to invite you to join me in January 2017 to just rest, hibernate and recover or staying well if you have managed to not pick up a virus.
Before you reject this idea because we’ve all been conditioned that January is the month to do! all !the! things! Please think about how you felt this January….
This is not to shame any of us if we were the later. This is to acknowledge that our culture tells us to resist nature -and millions of years of evolution- and we rush through the winter like crazy people despite there being evidence of nature telling us to slow down.
The other reason I am telling you is because I need to remind myself and ask for public accountability.
I declare MY January 2017 to be full of:
So again, consider this is an invitation to join me a year from now to enter the new year – the entire month of January – as one of complete rest.
Worried you’ll forget? No need, in December I will remind us all that January is a time of rest, restoration and recuperation.
So for I hereby declare:
I’d love to know what you think of my new January is month of rest and hibernation. I’d love to know how you were feeling this month. Be sure to leave a comment.
I look forward to seeing you soon!
This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.
In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).
So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Jenna shares her weekly roundup she calls For Your Weekend and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!
Do Your Insides Match Your Outsides? I love every single thing Stasia says. Please grab a cup a tea and go meet your new BFF.
Empathy Cards – Ever struggle with what to say when shit goes wrong? These will help!
29 Ways to Actually Enjoy Winter – So many good things! What’s your favorite?
29 Things Vegetarians Can Make for Dinner That Aren’t Pasta – I haven’t tried these yet, however I bet I will be adding some to my tried and true road tested recipes soon.
7 Ways to Naturally Up Your Energy Without Caffeine – I would also add legs up the wall or Savasana for 15 minutes.
6 Relaxing Yoga Poses To Help You Fall Asleep – winter hibernation? Yes, please.
How To Recognize the Signs of Burnout Before You’re Burned Out. I could have used this a few years ago.
9 Ways To Find More Time For The Things You WANT To Do – Let’s be the boss of ourselves and make time for what WE want to do.
Dear Friend,
In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).
So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Sarah from Yes and Yes does a link roundup called Weekly Web Time Wasters and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!
This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.
What To Have In Your Fridge Sunday to Eat Healthy All Week – This is what I aspire to do each week. I get pretty close, but the fridge photos are enviable.
Meal Prep: Week One – I have a longstanding love affair with Tracy from Shutterbean and I am total process nerd. It kills me (in a good way) to see how people create systems that work. Tracy is working on Foundation for 2016 and I think she’s off to an excellent start.
6 Questions to Ask in Every Job Interview lots of people I know are looking to make a career change in this new year. Hoping this can help you out. If you aren’t looking for a job, some of these can help with cocktail conversation at your next networking event.
My friends are awesome. Meet my friend, Keryn. She might have the coolest job ever.
How to Save $1000 Without Even Trying All great reminders.
Introducing the Book of YES (it’s FREE for now) – get it while you can.
New Year’s Resolutions for People Who Like Themselves. Kind and gentle, just like I like them. I want to read everything Asha writes.
How to Do (almost) Anything In 2016 – travel more? CHECK. get healthier? CHECK. build stronger friendships? CHECK.
A neuroscientist says there’s a powerful benefit to exercise that is rarely discussed. – I’ve been walking for about a year and loving it. I took swimming lessons this fall and fell in love. I’m in the process of strengthening my lungs to make it a regular part of my day. How do you move your body?
I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Happy New Year, friend! I am popping in today because I wanted to share some good news with you!
First, I have been doing some serious soul searching over the last few months about who I work with, what they have told me they need and what I can offer in terms of guidance and support.
What I have come up with is this:
I help kickass women (like YOU) find their inner badass through 100% guilt free self-care.
Why 100% guilt-free self-care?
Because it is hard to be a badass when your life is kicking your ass and you feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
I help kickass women get in touch with what they:
We work together to make a plan they can stick to and revise it until it becomes second nature.
Tada!
It is all about intentional living/lifestyle design with a side dish of rest + relaxation.
The way I work with women:
I’ve included some links below for my upcoming series and retreats. Please be sure to sign up if these interest you. Shoot me a message by hitting reply if you’d like to talk about private coaching sessions.
The other big news is I picked my word of 2016!
Most years I wait until the end of January because December is so exhausting, but I did so well saying no to all the extra stuff I had time for my year end personal summit AND choosing my word of the year.
YAY ME!
One foot in front of the other day after day. Small steps every day will get me where I want to go with a feeling of equanimity that I desire.
Please click here to read about how I choose my words.
Rosie’s word and Jen’s word are also inspiring me this year.
I’d love to hear your word of the year. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Want to learn how to Build Better Habits? Join me on Mondays in February at It’s All Yoga.
Live Well Women’s Retreats 2016 are in the works! Get yourself on the interest list to be the first to know all the details, discounts and destinations.
Happy New Year, friends! I have put together a little self-care gift guide for you just in case you have some gift cards burning a hole in your pocket.
MY TRIED AND TRUE SELF-CARE GIFTS
Dawn simulating alarm clock. It wakes you up gradually like the sun coming up. It puts you to sleep gradually like the sun going down. This thing has made me realize how much light rules my life and how much I hate waking up to loud noises in the dark. If you want to become a morning person and actually feel good when you wake up, try this. I can’t think of a single item that has changed my life more.
Sleep mask + ear plugs – Sleep is the number one predictor of sanity in my life, so I take it pretty seriously and do what it takes to make sure I get some good sleep. Friends mock my sensory deprivation tank, but to them I say, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
White noise machine. We got one a few years ago for our kid and now I can’t sleep without one. Counter intuitive to make your sleep environment noisy, but it totally works! The ear plugs cancel the unpredictable noises and the white noise creates predictability. Have I ever told you about my sleep struggles? Well, this combo has helped me get the most restful sleep of my life. You can also download a white noise app on your phone.
Headspace meditation subscription. Regular meditation helps keep my head from talking to me while I am trying to sleep. This is one of the best investments I’ve ever made in my health.
Yoga bolster + eye pillow. My body craves rest and these tools help me give myself what I actually need. My home yoga practice really took off when I got the right props to help me. If I had to choose from all my props, I’d choose these over all else.
NEW SELF-CARE GIFTS FOR 2016
FitBit Charger HR. I might be the biggest data dork in the world. I am so excited to keep track of my sleep and my steps I can hardly stand it. Now if only I could get used to wearing it. I feel like a cat with a collar.
Hot Girls Pearls. Stasia (my personal stylist and favorite Vermont-ian) told me about these when we worked together last year. My big dilemma is I am made of fire and where I live feels like the surface of the sun 8 months a year which leaves me feeling homicidal instead of adorable – enter cooling pearls. I can’t wait to try them out!
Light Therapy Box. If the Pacific Northwest taught me one thing, it is I am a delicate flower when it comes to light. Turns out I am a bit of a sunflower and without a constant source of light, I get a bit of the depressions. A bunch of friends have been using them with great success.
Have you tried any of these? What are your favorite self-care gifts?
I look forward to seeing you soon!
PS: Interested in my new series Intro to Happiness? Join us at It’s All Yoga Mondays in January (under the WORKSHOPS tab).
Wanna join the Intro to Happiness party, but sadly live outside the Sacramento area? Send me an email – tami underscore hackbarth at hotmail and I will add you to the interest list. If enough people raise their out-of-town-hands I will put together a class online. AND IT WILL ROCK!
Dear Friend,
2015 has been a year of great learning for me: how to live with loss, how to parent a preschooler, how to prioritize self-care and how to be happy even when things aren’t going well (see that living with loss part up there).
The best thing I’ve learned this year?
Our behavior matters.
What we do every day contributes to our level of happiness and well being.
Science finally proves it!
For decades we’ve been told our level of happiness depends on our genes and our environment, but science is now showing that our behavior matters.
Even if we were born with a lower happiness level and experienced a lot of crappy things in life, we can still be happy. Not just happier than we were before, but like someone who was born happy.
I think we can all agree that this is great news!
Back in September, I had the opportunity to hang with Oprah and friends. That day I was introduced to a fast talking Harvard guy named Shawn Achor. You can meet him here if you’d like.
Shawn studies happiness and he has uncovered what many people have known for years: our behavior matters to our happiness and well being.
Why do I keep saying that?
Because it is within our control to change how we see the world. It is within our control to change how we feel in the world. There is scientific evidence to show how our behavior can train our brains to help us be happier.
Who doesn’t want to be happier?
Shawn’s books and talks are all full of excellent information about how to be happier and the science behind it.
If you are in Sacramento and you’d like to learn more about the science behind happiness and some simple techniques for sparking happiness in yourself and to your loved ones, please join me Monday nights in January at It’s All Yoga.
It is my intention to build a happiness community in Sacramento and to have our happiness grow outward. We’ll come together to learn some of the science and to put some happiness techinques into practice each week in order to jump start our own happiness.
If you’d like to learn more on your own or live out of town – check out Shawn’s website.
Please let me know what you think in the comments.
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Hey, friend!
I wanted to make sure you knew that registration for my New Year’s Day restorative yoga + word of the year workshop at It’s All Yoga — Restoration Not Resolutions 2016 — has opened.
If you already know you want to register now – click HERE.
*BONUS! The first 6 to sign up for this workshop get a 30 minute coaching session with me to bring that word into your life in 2016 {$75 value!} – ONLY 2 bonuses left!
In the past, many people have returned and brought friends, so I’m reaching out really early to make sure you secure your spot.
So, how DO you want 2016 to feel?
In Restoration Not Resolutions, we start the afternoon with a super restorative, quiet, gentle yoga session. We take a small break with cookies and tea before diving into choosing a touchstone word of the year. I bring some thought provoking questions, you reflect and journal.
The workshop is 3.5 hours – long enough it feels a bit like a retreat – and short enough to be able to sleep in your own bed that night comforted by knowing you are starting 2016 with intention.
Here are the details:
Restoration Not Resolutions
It’s All Yoga
January 1, 2016
2:00-5:30 pm
You will need to bring:
We’ll provide:
If you’d like to secure your place in 2016 Restoration Not Resolutions, click HERE. In order to claim your FREE 30 minute BONUS coaching session, be sure to be one of the first 6 people signed up.
Past Restoration Not Resolutions participants have said:
— Once I saw that I was going to be out of town on vacation, I made plans to come home early to participate. I felt it was too good of an opportunity to miss! – SG
— I had never before done a word of the year and came out with a fairly clear picture of how I wanted the year to unfold. I am opening my own business this year and so as any fear or negating self-talk comes up, I remind myself of my word and it helps to quell my fears & put me back on track. –CC
I look forward to seeing you soon!
Remember when Oprah was my new best friend? Well, she’s really trying to be yours too. The entire day of speakers from the Super Soul Sessions is now online and available to watch for free!
During this extra busy and emotionally taxing holiday season, I invite you to watch Dr. Brene Brown’s talk entitled The Anatomy of Trust. In it she gives the seven components necessary for a trusting relationship. Be sure to watch until the end because she includes a twist.
In the meantime, I would love to hear about your Marble Jar Friends – who they are, how they earn marbles in your life and what you learned about trust from Brene.
Please leave a comment and let me know.
Sending you lots of compassion and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
By the way, the Live Well Women’s Retreat was totally relaxing + magical so we’re doing another one in the spring, if you want to get the scoop + early bird prices sign up HERE.
I spent the day with Oprah last month. That may not be a big deal for you, but I am a huge fan of her show Super Soul Sunday and her magazine and her most current work.
As if spending the day with Oprah wasn’t already awesome enough, Brene Brown (of thebest TED talk in the history of life), Liz Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) and a whole bunch of other amazing speakers were going to be there too. It was set up to be kinda like a TED for personal development. In other words, I’m all over that biz.
This isn’t a humble brag (well, sort of… I mean how cool is that?), but more I want to share the story of how that day even came to be.
Have you always wondered how people end up doing cool things? I know I do! It always seemed so elusive. What are they doing differently?
How do people end up in the audience of their favorite shows?
How do people end up front row center at rock shows?
How do people make these things happen?
For me, spending the day with Oprah came to be because I kept saying YES to what I wanted – even though it would have been “easier” to say NO.
The first yes was very small: liking Super Soul Sunday on Facebook. Easy peezy.
The next yes was raising my hand when they called for audience members. <–You’d think this one would have been easy, but that’s when my NO button kept flashing. Say yes to this was surprisingly hard, guys.
Everything kept pointing to saying NO. Because saying YES meant suspending my current reality of full time caregiver to a preschooler who at that point hadn’t even returned to school, that I am a teacher spouse two weeks into the school year and living 378 miles from where the event would happen. Not to mention having a zero dollar budget for spontaneous events and who really does this kind of stuff anyway?
Even though NO seemed like the logical answer, I said YES anyway.
I figured if I kept saying yes it would either work out or it wouldn’t. The tickets to the event were free, so I’d only need lodging, transportation and the full cooperation of my entire family.
No biggie, right?
I decided to keep saying yes until I was forced to say NO.
I wanted to see what would happen when I took things one step at a time. What if I just kept saying yes?
The long and short of it, is I kept saying YES and asking for what I wanted.
On my personal Facebook, I asked for a place to stay in LA. Within 5 minutes of posting, a friend volunteered a guest room and parking spot within 15 minutes of the venue. – CHECK
I asked my friend (also a mama to littles under 5) to come with me and she offered to drive. – CHECK
I asked my husband to take one for the team and handle 36 hours of solo parenting during one of the busiest times of the year (which is a huge deal and I THANK YOU, sweetheart!) <– he said YES.– CHECK
Here’s the thing I keep learning over and over:
When I ask for what I want, a lot of the time I get it.
If I don’t ask for what I want, I just get resentful.
What do you want to say yes to, but maybe a head full of noes is telling you can’t have it? What if you said YES and worked out the details later?
Sending you lots of compassion and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
You. + Us.
4 days + 3 nights
All the regular awesome retreat stuff + ONE on ONE personalized self-care coaching.
Hit reply on this message for questions and to register. A $400 non refundable deposit saves your place.
Only 2 spots left!
{1 spot in the dorm and 1 semi private room}
A while back I wrote a post about asking for what I want and how that small act has drastically improved my life with very little effort.
Little effort except the part about opening up some vulnerability in relationships. Asking for help puts us in the position of being real and not hiding behind the curated life we show in person and on social media.
It can feel a little scary to need help or to ask for something we really, really want. By asking for help, we expose the tender bits of ourselves.
And you know what? Sometimes we get hurt. And that sucks. Like whoa.
But sometimes people are so remarkably kind and generous and wonderful we end up wishing we would have asked for what really wanted and/or needed a long time ago.
This is a chance I am willing to take.
I am ready to be vulnerable.
I am ready to ask you for something because it is what I want and/or need.
Next month I am hosting my very first self-care retreat at a beautiful place with a really good friend.
I want to fill this retreat with awesome like-minded women.
What I mean by that is I want to go on vacation with other cool women:
The good news is we already have some awesome women signed up and ready to go.
The best news is we have space for YOU to come too!
The time to put our own self-care on the list is NOW. We have the place. We are gathering a community. All we need is YOU.
I really want you to come retreat with me.
Please click here for all the details and then shoot me an email if you have questions or want to set up a Skype to talk it through.
With lots of compassion and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
Dear Friend,
A quick post today because tomorrow I take off to Portland for a grief retreat with my BFF. It’s part of my Summer of Intentionality and I’ll share more about that later.
If you’ve ever wanted to go on a retreat, but didn’t know who or where or what, I’d love to have you join me when I host a retreat.
Click the photo above or here and I will send you information about upcoming retreats. As someone who raises her hand for this information this insures that you have first access to early registration and in some cases really exclusive bonuses.
Here’s a post I wrote a few years ago called 5 Reasons to Go on a Yoga Retreat. I can think of about 36 more now that I am a mama and in my 40s:
— someone else cooking delicious healthy meals for me three times a day
— SLEEP
— relaxing time with my girlfriends
–recharging my batteries
— learning how to live the life I want
–taking the time to discover how I want to feel in my life
I’d love for you to join me on retreat so be sure to sign up NOW because I’ve already got a pretty exclusive retreat in the works!
If you have questions, hit reply here and ask away.
If you know anyone else who you know would like to join YOU on a retreat, be sure to forward this message on to them.
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
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Other posts you might enjoy:
Summer of Intentionality 2015: What I am reading, learning and doing
Dear Friend,
Popping in today to share my most recent startling discovery. Simple and life-changing.
First a confession: I haven’t been asking for what I want and need most. And not surprisingly, I haven’t been getting what I want and need most.
Until recently, I have been ignoring my needs and desires in order to get along with other people and to not to appear to be too much trouble. Turns out, I am a secret people pleaser (The HORROR!).
Because I haven’t been asking for or getting what I really need after lots of interactions with people, I felt exhausted and frazzled (serious introvert here) and sometimes resentful because why couldn’t my people see I was suffering?
Apparently, I have been a bit of a martyr as well despite how much I claim to hate that in others.
Well, I’m here to tell you I have changed my ways for the better. I’m hoping you can learn from my mistakes.
It all started when my mom died and I realized I couldn’t do this grief thing on my own. I need to accept the help that was being offered and to sit with myself and gently ask what I needed and then ask for help from those that had offered.
What an eye-opening experience!
People came through for me and helped me when I needed it most. So many people commented that they were so happy I was asking for help. They felt good for offering and having their offers accepted and I felt great knowing I was nurtured and nourished by those around me.
Since then I’ve been practicing asking for help on lots of things.
I say practice because that’s what it is for me, a practice.
You see, I have a really LOUD inner critic (think Merle Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada) who thinks I should be able to do everything on my own. Even things I have never done before and have no interest in becoming proficient in… which means I have been wasting a ton of time on figuring things out instead of just asking someone else to help.
I’m not against hard work, but I am decidedly against wasting time. And wasting generosity!
This not asking for help has really gotten in the way of my work, my parenting, my life – so this year I’ve decided to be courageous and ask for what I want and need most.
Sometimes that looks like delegating a task to someone else, sometimes that looks like sending a clarifying email instead of frantically searching a website for an answer myself and sometimes that looks like accepting offers when presented.
For example: On a recent trip to visit my folks in Minnesota which involved solo travel with my four year old and driving across the state (all still in a bit of a grief fog) – I decided to try something different this time.
I decided to ask for help.
Sure, I probably could have handled every detail for the trip on my own, done all the child-minding, nighttime parenting, socializing etc. But I feared it would leave me in a state of exhausted, anxiety-filled hell with a generous helping of resentment.
This time, I wanted to see if I could do it differently – connect with my family and still take care of my body, mind and spirit.
So I asked for help.
Days before we left, I sent my folks a simple text asking for help finding a rental car.
Within hours, it was handled.
We were off to a great start!
A couple of days later, after I had spent some time thinking about what kind of time I would need in order to do my daily self-care, I sent another text asking if someone could watch my daughter so I could get things done.
Moments later a reply: YES!
The practice of asking for what you want and most need starts with knowing what you want and most need. For me this required getting quiet and asking what would help make each situation better and then listening for the answer. Armed with that information, I could ask for and get the help I need.
Two books that have helped me better understand asking and receiving are:
The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen
Playing Big by Tara Mohr
Oprah has it right when she said, “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”
What about you, friend? What will you ask for?
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
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Other posts you might enjoy:
Summer of Intentionality 2015: What I am reading, learning and doing
Dear Friend,
Summer is upon us. I don’t know about you, but I am ready for some fun. So far, 2015 – WHOA.
Each year I write three lists I call my Summer of Intentionality. I totally stole this idea from Rosie. She explains the background of this awesome tradition here. If you have older kids definitely go read the background post because you can get them started on their own Summers of Intentionality and never hear how they are bored again.
I started making Summer of Intentionality lists when I was still a classroom teacher because I found nothing feels worse than getting to the end of summer break and having nothing to show for it, except a lot of time having fallen down internet rabbit holes.
Spending my time in an intentional way helps me not only to be more productive than I ever thought possible, but puts fun and personal development right at the forefront of my life.
Plus who doesn’t want a To Do list full of things you actually want to do?
Without further ado, I present: The Summer of Intentionality aka How To Make the Most of Your Summer
2015 Summer of Intentionality
To Read:
Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen
True Refuge by Tara Brach
The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte
Playing Big by Tara Mohr
Fat Girl Walking by Brittany Gibbons
The Bright Side of Disaster: a novel by Katherine Center
Everyone is Beautiful: a novel by Katherine Center
Get Lucky: a novel by Katherine Center
The Lost Husband: a novel by Katherine Center
Editor’s note: I read a lot. I get my books from the library. I make time several times a day to read for a few minutes. I get most of my reading done in 15 minute increments. Yes, I schedule my reading time because if I didn’t, even though it is my absolute favorite thing to do and has been my favorite hobby since I was a young child, I wouldn’t do it.
To Learn:
Website redo.
Strength train (want to join me?)
To Do List of AWESOME:
Eat breakfast outside
Read in the hammock
Bake a pie
Make coconut milk ice cream
Picnic dinner in the park with other families
See Rhett Miller and Old97s
Stand up paddle boarding
Visit Bay Area grandparents
Visit Minnesota grandparents
Visit Mendocino County grandparents
Tahoe with college friends (x 2)
Hike in San Francisco
Hike in Oakland
Marin Headlands
Take a photo on or near the Golden Gate Bridge
Visit at least one new to me Bay Area beach
Beach days at Stinson
Ride steam train in Tilden Park
Grief Retreat in Portland (yes, a grief retreat…more on that later)
Hug huge redwood trees to celebrate our 20th anniversary
Take a restorative yoga class (or five) at It’s All Yoga.
What about you, friend? Want to have a summer of intentionality?
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).
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Other posts you might enjoy:
Summer of Intentionality of the past
Minimalist Parenting (good ideas – NOT just for parents!)
Dear Friend,
Recently I shared the two key components for living through loss – read about it here. {No, really please go read that post now. This information is for NOW not later.}.
Three months into the loss of my mom and I’ve found some resources that have helped me tremendously. The crazy thing about losing someone you love is that each loss is super personal – what helps one person, doesn’t help someone else.
As someone who doesn’t practice any organized religion, I was happy to find these practical and spiritual resources to help me through the first few months.
Here’s a list of what has really helped me the last few months:
Books I loved:
The Five Ways We Grieve by Susan Berger. I devoured this in the days following my mom’s death. I am an information seeker by nature and this book comforted my classifying and categorizing brain like no other.
Broken Open: How Difficult TImes Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser. Either we stay stuck in not wanting anything to change (like that is even possible) or we really let ourselves get down with our pain in order to let it change us. I love this book so much I want to marry it.
The Power of Receiving: A Revolutionary Approach to Giving Yourself the Life You Want and Deserve by Amanda Owen – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Grief is hard work and is best not done alone. It is so hard to accept help when we need it. This book can help.
Books I Haven’t Finished Yet But Came to Me HIGHLY Recommended and Will BE Finished By :
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Tara Brach
True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart also by Tara Brach
In person support group
Here in Sacramento we are lucky to have free and religion-free drop in grief support. Check for hospice or grief resources in your area if you think you might want some support. — I am a fairly private introverted person, so I was surprised by how much I wanted to attend a support group.
Just 12 days after my mom died, I went to my first session. I was extremely comforted by being in the company of others who had also experienced loss. For the first few months, I only wanted to talk to people who had experienced loss. I plan to keep attending drop in sessions and I may also go to a parent loss group as well.
Most Helpful BLOG in the entire world:
What’s Your Grief 101 – helpful posts include:
and about a gazillion more helpful posts (where you don’t find out you are crazy, just grieving…)
What’s Your Grief Podcast – grief support for those who want to listen
People, I am a READER. Sometimes it is way easier to listen instead of reading because you are simply too tired to be bothered to read. Did I mention how exhausting grief can be?
Which brings me to the self-care piece of grief.
Holy cow, grieving people, SLEEP.
Nap.
And sleep some more.
Also practice calming things like meditation and restorative yoga.
Grief is hard work and you don’t have to do it alone. .
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).
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Other posts you might enjoy:
Two Key Components of Living Through Loss
Minimalist Parenting (good ideas – NOT just for parents!)
Dear Friend,
Thank you for the outpouring of support over the last month. I’ve been blown away by the level of empathy, sympathy and compassion that has been shown me and my family during our time of grief.
I want to share some of the things that have helped me immensely in dealing with the loss of my mom.
But before I get into the specific resources available to support people in grief, I’d like to address two areas which are key to the process: self-care and the ability to receive.
Here’s the thing, at some point we will all experience great loss. If we are capable of human connection (which we are unless we’re sociopaths). {Please click the links. They contain super helpful information for FREE}…
Bottom line: we all face the loss of our most beloved people at some point. I don’t say that to be a downer, I am just trying to share what I’ve learned.
When my mom first had her stroke last January I reached out to my community and asked for help. Specifically I wanted to know what people who had been through aging parents caregiving did in order to take care of themselves.
The resounding response was that they didn’t take care of themselves – they ran themselves ragged, ate poorly, didn’t exercise, their sleep suffered, they gained weight, they were out of their mind with worry…
Every single one told me to did it differently then they had. These caregivers wished that they had taken better care of themselves because caregiving is hard and grieving is hard.
Every single person told me to really delve deep into my own self-care. Deep down I knew that was the answer, so I really took that advice to heart and now I am passing that on to you.
Let me be clear now:
Your self-care is imperative to being able to really be there for the people you love most.
That whole put your oxygen mask on first thing is no joke.
We can kinda fake our self-care in the good times. We can kinda wing our our health, happiness and sanity.
But when shit goes down, if you don’t have a real self-care program in place, it ain’t gonna be pretty. Even with my plan in place, I still got bronchitis four times during that year of my mom’s stroke.
The second key part of the process is your ability to receive.
Sounds kinda bonkers, but I’m telling you grief is hard work. The kind of hard work that you can not do alone.
The first few days after my mom died, I was struck with how much I was going to need to rely on the kindness of others in order to get through this process.
The first order of business was feeding my family. I was pretty numb and not really worried about feeding myself, but I knew my people (and I) would need nourishment. As I sat in my chair in the livingroom I wondered how that was going to happen because truth be told, I couldn’t be bothered to leave that chair.
I was stuck.
So rather than make myself do something I wasn’t sure I was able to do (walk to the kitchen), I reached out to some wonderful local friends with little kids and asked them to please make some extra of whatever they were feeding their families and to bring us some.
Of course they did. They are part of my mama tribe, but the point is I had to know how to ask for what I needed and know who to ask. And then I had to be able to receive the gifts.
This last bit is crucial: you must be able to receive the kindness and support of others.
One of the things I did immediately when people started asking me what they could do to help my family was to make a list in my phone of who offered to do things and generally what they offered to do. I usually did this right in front of them because at that point concentration and memory were not my strong suit.
Every single one of my lovely people said they were glad I was taking their offer seriously enough to make note of it. I plan to take each and every one of them up on their offer to help. Grief takes way longer than one would hope.
In the months leading up to my mom’s death, I read a very powerful book on receiving called The Power of Receiving by Amanda Owen. I HIGHLY recommend everyone read this as part of their grief bootcamp — preferably way before you need it!
So remember – grief is hard work and you don’t have to do it alone. Self-care and the ability to receive help are crucial in the grief process (and perhaps the secret to a healthy, happy sane life.
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).
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My Word of 2015
19 Tips for Taking Care of Yourself While Also Taking Care of the People You Love (You Don’t Have to Do All of Them To Feel Better)
Dear Friend,
Many of you already know, but I wanted to share some really tough news: on March 13th my mom died.
Exactly one month after she entered hospice.
January 2014 my mom had a massive stroke leaving her partially paralyzed and thus I began my long journey toward testing all this self-care business in the real world sense.
Since I got the news that Friday at noon, I have been experiencing many physical reactions to losing someone I love, taking exquisite care of myself and trying to still be a present parent for my 4 year old daughter.
As you might imagine, this is the hardest thing I have ever experienced.
At some point I will share some of the lessons I have learned from my grieving and how that relates to my teaching and offerings.
In the mean time, if you are curious about some of my thoughts on grief and how to be with people who are experiencing profound loss, I invite you to read Michelle’s post on coming Out of Hiding.
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
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My Word of 2015
Dear Friend,
I hope this message finds you well and looking for inspiration in a new place.
Lately I’ve been spending most of my online time on Instagram. {You can find me here}
Why am I spending time on Instagram instead of Facebook you ask?
3 reasons I heart IG more than FB:
1. Instagram shows me everything I have signed up to see. I really do want see every post from the people I’ve chosen to follow {FB has been hiding the goods, friends. It is no bueno}.
2. Pretty pictures make me happy.
3. IGers tend to post insanely useful information there to go with their pretty pictures. Who knew?
If you’d like to see the pretty pictures I post (always with helpful self-care tips), please download Instagram on your smartphone and follow me at @tamihackbarth.
Keep reading below to see who are my favorite Instagram feeds to follow.
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
Other Posts You Might Like:
Can Your Smartphone Improve Your Health? Mine is!
Inspiration for a Self-Acceptance Self-Study
How to Feel Refreshed After Spring Break
_________________________________________________________________
Let the inspiration begin!
1. Create As Folk – Laura Simms just started a simple hand lettered inspired and inspiring thoughts series. Totally worth a follow – simple and gorgeous, like everything she does.
2. The Tiffany Han – Brilliant mind behind the podcast Raise Your Hand Say Yes recently started a daily post it note with notes to herself/us from the universe. Simple and so inspiring.
3. Stasia Savasuk – The brilliant, wholehearted, dynamo behind Thrift Me Pretty. She is my personal stylist (yes, you read that correctly. I HAVE A PERSONAL STYLIST) and the brains behind the Inside Out Congruency in which your brilliant insides show on the outside. Her 7 year old daughter is her photographer, she lives in Maine and her smile and style can light up any feed.
4. Go Eat Your Beets — Trisha Hughes takes the most beautiful food photos in my feed. She is a mom to 4, lives in the Midwest and is mostly grain free meaning lots of Paleo cooking. In other words, lots of veggies and cooked meats and she is able to make her photos look incredible! I regularly invite myself over for dinner (and she always says yes!).
5. Tracyshutterbean — I have already established my serious girl crush on Tracy here andhere, but seriously people, SHE ROCKS. Her bio reads: Food, photography and pretty things. All true, AND she knocks it out of the park with every.single.photo. Living in the Bay Area there are lots of Golden Gate Bridge shots, glorious morning Marin light in her enviable kitchen, tons of funny shots of her adorable son + cat. Run, don’t walk to follow Tracy.
6. Minimalist Baker – Dana Shlutz – lots and lots of pretty, vegan deliciousness. I mean, really. And she’s funny too.
7. Jennifer E Snyder – Local writer, pod caster and storyteller, Jen tells stories through her inspired feed. I love taking trips with Jen and inviting myself along – she always says yes too! (I’m starting to notice a theme, aren’t you?) Anyway, I love how Jen captures wherever she happens to be.
8. Eat Play Grow – Bridget(a former local teacher) posts beautiful photos of the activities she and her preschool son are working on. I can’t tell you how many times I have taken an idea from Bridget’s feed and tried it with my own preschooler. She has saved my behind on many an afternoon. Gorgeous photos that are filled with love and present parenting. Worth a look even if you don’t have kids.
9. I Love Lucy Design Studio – I LOVE a behind the scenes of pretty much anything and this particular feed is full of shots bringing Lucy Activewear from concept to product and then to market. You get to see the designers, their travel and inspiration as well as products you may have missed other places. LOVE those HELLA active shirts! East Bay represent!
10. Liz Elayne – Liz Lamoreux’s feed brings me calm. Each picture is diverse, but the one thing they all share is an awareness of the present moment. Whenever Liz posts, I am reminded to stop and take a breath. I love that.
11. Ybicoalition – Yoga and Body Image Coalition – their bio reads: A collective of teachers, educators and doctors working together to promote yoga for all ages, shapes, sizes, abilities & backgrounds. That about sums it up. I follow this feed because I love seeing every person in their “This is what a yogi looks like” shirts.
12. Shop Compliment – Clean lines, beautiful jewelry and other “gifts for the spirit”. Melissa Camilleri is on of my biz BFFs and TGBTS Featured Teacher and one of my teachers. I love this woman and I learn from her every day through her Instagram feed.
I hope you found some new people to inspire your life! I would love to hear from you.
Who do you love on Instagram?
Image Source: Death to Stock Pho
Dear Friend,
I started this month feeling a bit out of sorts because new starts and dark days work counter in my head and in nature. But, as always, when I looked for places that shined, I found them.
For the last few months I have taken a break from doing these 10 Things I Love reflection posts and truth be told, I didn’t like it. So I am back!
I started doing these reflection posts after being inspired by Rosie’s posts. Taking time each month to reflect on the good things that happen each day/week/month has done wonders for my ability to actually stop and notice the good stuff.
I hope you find some useful tips, books to read and service providers to love in here. I would love to hear your favorites, so send me a message or leave me a comment and tell me all about what you loved in January.
With lots of self-kindness and love,
Tami xox
PS – If something in this (or any post) resonates with you and you think someone you know might like it too, please forward it to a friend.
PPS – If you enjoyed this post, get email updates (it’s FREE).
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Links To Love:
Books I Love: Edward Tulane and The Dirty Cowboy
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Things I/We Did
1. Restoration Not Resolutions and choose my word of the year. My absolute favorite way to start the new year: in deep relaxation, then reflecting and thinking about how I want to feel in the new year. I adore the people that come to this workshop each year – some repeats and others new. We always laugh, cry and find kindred spirits.
Save the date 1/1/16 – if you want to do this workshop next year!
2. Hosted a brunch for local friends. Trying to be social at the dinner hour just doesn’t work for our family. We are early birds and go to bed way early, so if we want to see friends, we do it during the day. So right after new year’s we hosted a brunch for some local friends. We served this and it was delicious (just add WAY more pumpkin spice than you think is necessary and then double it – I did like 3 tablespoons).
2B. Attended a housewarming party – AT NIGHT. This is epic. Have I ever told you about my party aversion? What about my aversion to leaving the house at night? Well, I threw caution to the wind and got myself over to my friends’ housewarming/birthday party that included karaoke (stone cold sober for me <–badass) and Cards Against Humanity. Needless to say, my sides and cheeks hurt the next day from all the laughing.
3. I taught restorative yoga to a whole lot of parents of two year olds AKA the people that are probably more tired than anyone else on Earth. Not going to lie, it was amazing to watch their tired faces rest.
The best quote from after the class:
DUDE, I can *totally* do that kind of yoga! I thought we were going to be stretching or something. I can LAY AROUND!
Exactly my thoughts!
I love my job!
4. Family Field Trips: both my husband and I have a deep need for solitude, so we spend a lot of time one on one with our kid so the other parent can get in their solo time. That makes the time we spend together as a family is pretty special and our daughter LOVES it. This month we went to Aviators for breakfast to watch the airplanes, to look at art at the Crocker and we asked for and received babysitting time on Saturday afternoons which make all this togetherness possible!
5. Connected in person by showing up for friends. January was full of loss for my friends and their loved ones. I used to think showing up for people had to be a dramatic event, but really sitting in someone’s backyard and quietly holding their hand can be just what is needed. I keep learning over and over again, showing up is important to connecting to your people.
Products and Services I Dug:
6. Genius Bar at the Arden Fair Apple Store: long story short, my iPhone battery died. I made an appointment and walked out with a new phone no questions asked. Are Apple products mind-blowingly expensive? Yes, especially for this Depression era grandma. But with customer service like that, I can feel confident in my purchase.
Also: bonus points for the wonderful people that work the store and manage to never make me feel like an idiot. Not one time. Those people are amazing!
7. Crocker Art Museum: our preschool class was invited to do a docent led tour meant for little people. I was sceptical, but it was well done. The group size was tiny – just 3 kids and their caregivers – but man those tour guides worked their hearts out helping the kids connect to the pieces they were viewing. It was so well done, our family returned later that week. I highly recommend taking preschool age kids to the Crocker! Be sure to visit the TOT LAND – the kid’s playing space in the bottom floor. It is set up for fun!
Bonus: Sunshine Yoga and IKEA set me up for restorative props for 10 people. Now just to find some people who want to host a restorative retreat… is that YOU?
Books I Can Highly Recommend:
8. Yes, Please by Amy Poehler. If nothing else, read the Justine Timberlake chapter and cry from laughing so hard.
9. Yoga for Emotional Balance by Bo Forbes. Suffer from anxiety and depression? Mentally and physically exhausted? Bo’s got your back.
PS – she recommends restorative yoga and a lot of exhaling. Every.Damn.Day. Can I get a holla?
10. Landline by Rainbow Rowell. I didn’t immediately love the characters and yet I was determined to find out what happened. Spending time with some flawed fictional people has helped me work on loving the flawed real people in my life. I love books.
+++++
So what are you loving lately? I’m always on the lookout for what is delicious in food, drink, fashion, and life. Let me know your favorites in the comments or write a post of your own and link back here.
Image Source: My Instagram!
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Dear Friend,
Each year I choose a word of the year. It started while I was teaching elementary school as a way to reflect upon and then change my teaching practice.
Back then I would return to school the Monday after the last day of school to clean my classroom and put the school year to rest. Filling the recycling bin with leftover assignments from the year and taking down bulletin boards kept my hands busy while my mind quietly reflected on the good, the bad and the ugly from the year.
Usually by the time my classroom was clean and put away for the summer, I would have decided where I wanted to focus my attention in the following year.
At the beginning of each year I would hold my word as a touchstone. Each day I would refer back to it and when situations came up where my word was relevant, I would act accordingly.
The year that everyone’s parents yelled at me, led me to not to take it personally the next year. That meant when I felt defensive about something I would exhale. A lot. And I would remember it wasn’t about me. Even when people blew sunshine up my skirt, I would remember it wasn’t about me.
The year where I was crippled by anxiety because I was unsure where I would be the following year. I decided to say yes in order to flow with the uncertainty. That looked a lot like faith and trust and letting go.
As I stepped away from the classroom to focus on raising my daughter and teaching yoga I continued choosing words to guide my years. I started using Rosie’s process to guide me to my words: connection and nurture being the most recent.
Beginning in 2013 I started teaching this word choosing process as part of The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher program and in my Restoration Not Resolutions New Year’s Day workshop.
If you’ve come to Restoration Not Resolutions, you’ve heard me talk about how part of my process in choosing my own word of the year involves thinking through the “shadow” aspect of my potential words. When I talk about the shadow I’m talking about the not so shiny, nice parts of a chosen word.
Take my word last year, nurture. Definition: care for and encourage the development of. Seems really positive, right? Who wouldn’t want encouragement and growth? Well, I’m here to let you know, that these words can really come to life and give you lots of practice with them in unexpected ways.
The year of nurture my mom had a paralyzing stroke. I love my mom, but our relationship is complicated and she lives 1200 miles away. Nurture took on an unexpected twist through this because it lead me to deeper self-care for myself, learning to accept help from friends and reaching out and leaning on family.
Nurture became a powerful force in my life last year. And I have to say when I look back at all the words I’ve chosen over the years, each and every one has played an important part of shaping who ultimately I have become.
In other words, I don’t choose my words lightly!
I jokingly refer to “auditioning words” in December and January these days. What I mean by that is throughout the year words come to me. I add them to a list of potential words for the next year and sort of meditate on them and how they could play out if I choose to take them on the following year.
Words that made the list for potential 2015 words include:
Luminous
Adjective
Definition: full of or shedding light; bright or shining, especially in the dark.
Going through the whole 20 question process, I feel like this word chose me. The part that sealed the deal for me is especially in the dark. The ability to keep shining even when things are grim, sad and dark is calling to me this year with the uncertainty of my mom’s health and the recent deaths of many of my loved ones’ loved ones.
I can’t wait to see how luminous comes to life in 2015.
I would love to hear from you about your word of the year, about MY chosen word of the year or about anything else you’d like to connect with me about.
With much love and compassion,
Tami xoxo
Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
Other Posts You Might Like:
Who I Am (bonus video!)
A Short List of Things I HATE
Things I SUCK At
Dear Friend,
Today I’m sharing the recipes for what we’re eating this season. They are fresh, easy and packed full of vegetables.
I grew up in the convenience foods generation of the 70s. Meaning if it didn’t come from a box, bag, can or the freezer – we didn’t eat it. Even in California families were convinced that soup starters – dehydrated vegetables – from a box made more sense than a fresh onion, celery and carrots. It was a weird time for eating.
So even though we ate at home every night, I didn’t really learn how to cook real food and I wasn’t I wasn’t really excited about food.
That all changed when I was in my 20s living with a roommate who really knew his way around the kitchen. I used to sit on a stool in the corner asking questions about how this whole food from scratch thing worked.
I watched and learned and I’m so happy this fresh food thing has caught on!
In recent years I have found the process of cooking to be almost as pleasurable as actually sitting down with friends and family around the table.
We have a “mixed” family: meaning the husband is mostly a vegetarian, I am severely allergic to dairy and shellfish and we have a 4 year old. All of that is to say we don’t eat a lot of meat, never use cow milk and at least one of us is always yelling about what we’re not going to eat.Below are a few of my recent favorite plant-based recipes found in my newest cookbook:
Warm Spinach Artichoke Dip, anyone? Unbelievably delicious and completely dairy-free. Equally tasty with rice crackers, tortilla chips or baguette.
*photo credit: Smith’s Vegan Kitchen – click the link for original photo and recipe
Vegan Alfredo over the pasta of your choice – no milk, no cream, no butter – NO COW. My 4 year old slurped three bowls of this pasta up on Christmas Eve.
*photo credit: Your Vegan Mom – click the link for original photo and recipe
Avocado pesto. I think you only need one avocado, but who am I to tell you what to do?
I realize now I’m sharing all super carb-licious pasta dishes, but that’s what this girl wants to eat in the winter. I’ll share my favorite new soup recipes in a later post.
*photo credit: Chef Chloe’s website – click the link for original photo and recipe
Vegan Caramel Apple Pie – the only recipe not found in Chloe’s Kitchen. If you’ve got some apples just hanging around, I highly recommend this pie from The Healthy, Happy Life.
*photo credit: Kathy Patalsky of The Healthy, Happy Life – click the link for original photo and recipe
What are your favorite plant-based recipes?
I would love to hear from you, so let me know what you think.
With lots of love and compassion,
Tami xoxo
Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
Other Posts You Might Like:
8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Lessons Might Work for YOU
Breakfasts I’ll Be Making Again
Eat More Soup
Best Damn Granola EVER
Dear Friend,
A quick video reminder that self-care doesn’t have to be an entire yoga class, require any money or take very much time. Either click here or on the photo for my quick tip on self-care.
I would love to hear from you, so hit reply and let me know what you think!
With lots of love and compassion,
Tami xoxo
Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
Other Posts You Might Like:
2014: A Year in Review
Yoga Manifesto: REST
8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Lessons Might Work for YOU
Dear Friend,
I do love a new year, but it sure feels like it comes at the wrong time of year. Doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it make more sense if the new year came in the spring instead of the dead of winter?
May I be honest for a moment?
December exhausts me. (If you want to read why I included the link).
Now that it is January all I want to do is hibernate.
You too?
I’m pretty sure it is nature.
Look outside. Everything is dormant for the season. The trees don’t care about the holidays, or birthdays or workshops. The trees know it is the quiet season.
They know that in order to be ready for the spring – the time of rebirth and growth – they need to rest NOW.
Makes sense, right?
Let’s act like the trees: quiet down, go a bit dormant.
Let’s REST for a while. At least until the sun starts coming up a little earlier and the staying around a little longer.
But, but, but… WHAT ABOUT ALL THE NEW BEGINNINGS?!?
We’ve got plenty of time to grow and make change… in the spring… like the trees.
In an effort to offer myself some kindness and grace during this season of quiet, dormancy and rest, I am spending the whole month of January resting, reviewing, reflecting and ultimately deciding how I wanted the new year to feel.
In other words, I am going to live what I have been teaching.
Below is a list of the resources I like to use in January to help set me up for an intentional year. Please feel free to use them as well.
Jen Hoffman from Inspired Home Office writes beautifully about January. Please read here and here to see where my inspiration for a slow, graceful beginning of the year comes from.
Rosie Molinary’s Guide to Holding a Personal Summit
Rosie Molinary’s SPARK: Practices to Start This New Beginning
Rosie Molinary’s Guide to Choosing A Word of the Year
It’s never too late to start having the life that you want. Take an hour or two this week (even in 15 minute intervals) and hold your own personal summit and choose a word for the year.
I would love to hear from you, so let me know what you think.
xo,
Tami
Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
Other Posts You Might Like:
2014: A Year in Review
Yoga Manifesto: REST
8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Lessons Might Work for YOU
Dear Friend,
I recently started offering private yoga sessions to women all over the country because they wanted to figure out how to feel better at the end of their work days. Some of them travel often for work, some work endless hours at a computer in their home office and others have special circumstances which make group yoga classes not a good fit for them.
What all my clients have in common is that they are looking to do something different in order to get a different result. That’s right, something different!
What I offer is that something different. I offer women customized gentle and restorative yoga practices that they can do at home on their own time frame. I teach people how to help themselves feel better than they ever have at the end of their work day. I teach people how to take breaks, work more productively and get more done without working harder.
Not sure about if private yoga sessions are for you or haven’t ever thought about it as an option?
8 Reasons Private Yoga Might Work For YOU
1. You absolutely LOVE yoga, but never find time for your favorite studio class.
2. You moved away from your beloved yoga community and haven’t found a new yoga home (I offer sessions via Skype).
3. You really wish your teacher would focus on what’s going on just with you – you’re recovering from an injury or surgery, or would like to work a lot of hips or shoulders, but always seem to go to the neck and spine class.
4. You are totally new to yoga and feel intimidated about heading into a public class without some yoga experience.
5. You really want to practice yoga at home, on your own schedule, with our own priorities. And you’d love to figure out how exactly to set up a sustainable home practice.
6. You can have the practice tailor made just for you. We can work on the poses you would like help with, we can work with meditation and/or breath work.
I specialize in working with beginners, people who need to relax via restorative yoga (everyone probably needs this more than they think) and people interested in a super gentle, forgiving, body-positive practice.
7. You have experienced a life change: a divorce, a death or illness in your family or circle of friends, had a baby, moved house or are generally feeling a little off center – yoga, especially restorative yoga can help.
8. You aren’t happy with how our body looks or feels or works and you’d like to make friends with yourself again.
If this sounds like you (or someone you know) be sure to email tami@itsallyoga.com.
If you still have questions for me about private yoga sessions, please send me a message at tami at itsallyoga.com.
Hope you are well.
With lots of love and compassion,
Tami xo
Did you like this? Please click the link here to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
PS – If you find this helpful or know someone who would, please be sure to pass it on. Sharing is caring!
Other posts you might like:
FAQ about Restorative Yoga
Savasana: A Love Story
Dear Friend,
2014.
It was a YEAR. I started by taking the month of January to reflect on the previous year and then spent the rest of the year really putting my self-care practices to the test.
Looking through all these posts, I can, without a doubt, say I feel genuinely proud of the work I’ve put out in the world this year.
I hope you find something that helps make your life feel more healthy, happy and sane.
Please click that link over there to make sure you don’t miss any updates in 2015 – get email updates (it’s FREE).
Without further ado, here’s 2014 in review.
With lots of love and compassion,
Tami
xoxo
January 2014:
Looking Back in Order to Look Forward
February 2014:
Tips For Starting and Maintaining a Daily Meditation Practice
Permission to Rest (For As Long As It Takes to Feel Better)
10 Things I Loved In February 2014
March 2014
Simple Techniques For Adding Self-Care to An Already Over-Scheduled Life
Want More Energy? Make Less Decisions.
Featured Teacher Nikki Stern: Connecting Food and Mood
10 Things I Loved in March 2014
April 2014
Removing Obstacles to Your Self-Care
May 2014
The Healthy Happy Sane Teacher Home Study Program – self care isn’t just for teachers!
Please Introduce Yourself (and how can I best be of service?)
Even Imperfect Self-Care Counts!
June 2014
Summer of Intentionality Part 1: To READ
Summer of Intentionality Part 2: To DO
Summer of Intentionality Part 3: To LEARN
10 Things I Loved in June 2014
July 2014
5 Reasons to Go On A Yoga Retreat
9 Ways to Keep Your Cool This Summer (+ 12 More)
August 2014
Favorite 15 Minute Dinner (vegan + gluten free)
10 Things I Loved In Summer 2014
September 2014
Treat Yourself: 8 Reasons Why Private Yoga Sessions Might Work for You
TGBTS Cooks! Green Muffins (aka my girl’s birthday cupcakes)
October 2014
Links Worth Clicking – Fall 2014
All the Self-Care in the World Can’t Save You
November 2014
Can Your Smart Phone Improve Your Health?
December 2014
Restoration Not Resolutions the WHY behind my annual New Year’s Day workshop.
Feel Lonely and Sad at the Holidays?
Why Choose a Word of the Year?
Teacher Goes Back to School 