Why I Do What I Do.

Inevitably every day a woman tells me about how much she needs a break, a moment of peace, some space to gather herself, a reprieve. Some days, more than one woman tells me about how stressed she is or how tired, or how she just can’t catch a break or her breath.

It doesn’t matter the age or marital status or whether the woman is a mother, I hear from all kinds of women that their lives have become unmanageable, unhealthy, out of control and that if they could just catch their breath, things would get better.

I can totally relate. Before I became a mother, I worked super long hours as a teacher and always promised myself I would rest during the next school break. Usually what would happen is I would get sick and be forced to rest because I was too sick to get out of bed. Not exactly the break I had fantasized about, but at least I was resting finally.

Then I would start the cycle again.

In the first few months after bringing our daughter home, I exhausted myself by trying to be there for her 24 hours a day. Even when it was my husband’s time to bond with her and to take care of her, I was hovering nearby at the ready to jump in and take over…just in case anyone needed me.

As the months wore on this constant state of being ready, of anticipation of coming to the rescue, wore me down. I was left mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted and scared to death I wouldn’t be able to be a good mother (or friend, wife or daughter). I knew I couldn’t sustain this pace of life and be happy.

Something had to change. I had to do something differently, in order to feel differently in my life.

So I started with some small changes. Things we all know we need to do, but rarely actually make happen.

I started with sleep. The advice about sleeping when the baby sleeps? I actually started doing that. I took naps when she took naps, I started going to bed earlier and pretty quickly I started feeling noticeably better.

Did I have to fight the voices in my head saying I was wasting precious time sleeping? Of course I did. After a while they got a little kinder, but in a culture where being exhausted is a status symbol, the pressure is real.

Feeling a bit more empowered because this seemingly small change made such a big difference in how I felt mentally and emotionally, I started making other small changes.

I made a plan to add more movement into my life. I first had to let go of the idea that a workout had to be an hour long ordeal at a gym with expensive clothes and lots of sweat.

I had to make peace with small changes being good enough. Again, we live in a culture that only celebrates huge weight loss, 6 pack abs and tiny waists.

I started walking with another new mama most days of the week. We met super early in the morning because now that we had tiny people we were up before the sun anyway. We would walk and talk and walk and talk some days for hours. We would take the kids to the park and push them on the swings until it was time to take them home for naps.

Each day I spent sleeping more, moving my body more and talking, talking, talking to my mama friend, the better I felt.

These small changes led to more small changes and over the last few years I have added many small daily practices to my life which have helped me feel healthier, happier and more sane than ever before. Most days I feel like my life is pretty manageable – I’ve got time to move, be quiet, read, connect with friends and family. It definitely looks much more like the life I had envisioned for myself.

I share this with you today to let you know you aren’t alone if you are feeling run down, exhausted by the pace of life. Not by a long shot. So many of us have been there.

There is a growing community of women who are making small changes in their lives and noticing a big difference in how they feel. We are supporting each other in our personal growth and feeling empowered that we are not alone in our efforts.

You are invited to be a part of this growing community. What small changes can you make today to feel more space in your life?

I would love to hear from you. Please tell me about where you need support in your self-care.

Big hugs,
Tami

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Click here for more information on our April and June 2016 retreats.

Favorite Reads of the Week

This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.

In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).

So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Tracy shares her weekly roundup she calls I Love Lists Fridays (also be sure to check out her photo roundup called My Everyday Life) and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!

favorite reads of the week

7 Simple Ways to Read More This Year – check. check. check.

4 Tips to Keep Your ME Time When You Are a Momma – I definitely feel number one is my secret weapon. No woman is an island.

The Power of Restorative Yoga for a Cold – YES! At home with all the blankets and pillows you can find.

6 Feng Shui Tips To Bring Purpose, Intention + Clarity Into Your Home. – One of my college roommates teaches feng shui and has piqued my interest.

Swear Word Coloring Books – As a way to keep my hands and brain busy and to practice mindfulness around the house, I’ve taken up coloring. It worked great too as a way to pass the time int the car on a long summer road trip. I am pretty sure this will be mine! {save the date: 5/22 for a coloring date with me at It’s All Yoga}

The 15 Most Beautiful Places in California You Didn’t Even Know Existed. – I am a CA native and I didn’t know about these. Must change that stat!

Napping Office Chair – dude. Just yes.

The NOT To Do List: 15 Habits To Stop Now – What do you think?

A New Way to Increase Your Emotional Connection – would you try this?

I joined the club. Instagram made me do it!

I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

February Do Over

Dear Friend,

Real Talk: January is not my favorite. I try every year to make friends, I really do.

Then inevitably I pick up a virus, can’t shake it for the life of me and then spend the entire month telling everyone person I see that I am never going to be well again. And coughing. THE COUGHING.

Sounds hyperbolic perhaps, but at some point early in every winter I am convinced I will never feel good again.

PS – I hate this part.

So I am hereby declaring:

january is
Why am I telling you this?

Good question!

The first reason is to invite you to join me in January 2017 to just rest, hibernate and recover or staying well if you have managed to not pick up a virus.

Before you reject this idea because we’ve all been conditioned that January is the month to do! all !the! things! Please think about how you felt this January….

  • Were you rested?
  • Did you nourish yourself with food?
  • Did you love your body through movement?
  • Did you go to bed super early and wake up when it got light?
  • Did you feel soothed and loved or were you frazzled and dry coughing like a wounded seal?

This is not to shame any of us if we were the later. This is to acknowledge that our culture tells us to resist nature -and millions of years of evolution- and we rush through the winter like crazy people despite there being evidence of nature telling us to slow down.

The other reason I am telling you is because I need to remind myself and ask for public accountability.

I declare MY January 2017 to be full of:

  • excellent hand washing
  • lots of napping
  • 8+ hours every night of sleep
  • restorative yoga at home
  • endless cups of hot tea
  • soup, soup, soup
  • slow walking
  • knit hats and warm socks
  • reading books made of paper
  • lots of screen-free time (esp at night)
  • coloring books
  • and so much quiet.

So again, consider this is an invitation to join me a year from now to enter the new year – the entire month of January – as one of complete rest.

Worried you’ll forget? No need, in December I will remind us all that January is a time of rest, restoration and recuperation.

So for I hereby declare:

feb us new jan.jpg
I’d love to know what you think of my new January is month of rest and hibernation. I’d love to know how you were feeling this month. Be sure to leave a comment.

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

 

Favorite Reads of the Week

This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.

In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).

So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Jenna shares her weekly roundup she calls For Your Weekend and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!

favorite reads of the week

Do Your Insides Match Your Outsides? I love every single thing Stasia says. Please grab a cup a tea and go meet your new BFF.

Empathy Cards – Ever struggle with what to say when shit goes wrong? These will help!

29 Ways to Actually Enjoy Winter – So many good things! What’s your favorite?

29 Things Vegetarians Can Make for Dinner That Aren’t Pasta – I haven’t tried these yet, however I bet I will be adding some to my tried and true road tested recipes soon. 

7 Ways to Naturally Up Your Energy Without Caffeine – I would also add legs up the wall or Savasana for 15 minutes.

6 Relaxing Yoga Poses To Help You Fall Asleep – winter hibernation? Yes, please.

How To Recognize the Signs of Burnout Before You’re Burned Out. I could have used this a few years ago.

9 Ways To Find More Time For The Things You WANT To Do – Let’s be the boss of ourselves and make time for what WE want to do.

Favorite Reads of the Week

Dear Friend,

In case you haven’t heard, I love love love to read. I also love to learn. And what I love the most is sharing what I’m reading and learning with others to connect them with authors, books and ideas that light their butts on fire. It actually one of my SUPERPOWERS (that and remembering every name and face of every person I’ve ever met).

So for 2016 I’ve decided to share my favorite books on Instagram every Saturday and each week I’ll be sending you articles that have caught my attention. Sarah from Yes and Yes does a link roundup called Weekly Web Time Wasters and I love clicking through her links every weekend and I hope you enjoy clicking through mine!

This is actually LAST week’s… if you want to get these ON Sunday and ON time – sign up here.

favorite reads of the week

What To Have In Your Fridge Sunday to Eat Healthy All Week – This is what I aspire to do each week. I get pretty close, but the fridge photos are enviable.

Meal Prep: Week One – I have a longstanding love affair with Tracy from Shutterbean and I am total process nerd. It kills me (in a good way) to see how people create systems that work. Tracy is working on Foundation for 2016 and I think she’s off to an excellent start.

6 Questions to Ask in Every Job Interview lots of people I know are looking to make a career change in this new year. Hoping this can help you out. If you aren’t looking for a job, some of these can help with cocktail conversation at your next networking event.

My friends are awesome. Meet my friend, Keryn. She might have the coolest job ever.

How to Save $1000 Without Even Trying All great reminders.

Introducing the Book of YES (it’s FREE for now) – get it while you can.

New Year’s Resolutions for People Who Like Themselves. Kind and gentle, just like I like them. I want to read everything Asha writes.

How to Do (almost) Anything In 2016 – travel more? CHECK. get healthier? CHECK. build stronger friendships? CHECK.

A neuroscientist says there’s a powerful benefit to exercise that is rarely discussed. – I’ve been walking for about a year and loving it. I took swimming lessons this fall and fell in love. I’m in the process of strengthening my lungs to make it a regular part of my day. How do you move your body?

I’d love to know what you are reading and listening to these days. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

Building Better Habits A 4-week Series with Tami Hackbarth

Sacramento: would you like to build better habits? Registration is now open.
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Live Well Women’s Retreats 2016 are in the works!
Get on the list for:  details, discounts + destinations
http://bit.ly/RetreatWithTami

My 2016 Word of the Year

Happy New Year, friend! I am popping in today because I wanted to share some good news with you!

First, I have been doing some serious soul searching over the last few months about who I work with, what they have told me they need and what I can offer in terms of guidance and support.

What I have come up with is this:

I help kickass women (like YOU) find their inner badass through 100% guilt free self-care.

Why 100% guilt-free self-care?

Because it is hard to be a badass when your life is kicking your ass and you feel guilty for taking care of yourself.

I help kickass women get in touch with what they:

  • Want more of in their life: friends, family, fun, happiness, feeling great
  • What they want less of: stress, being stuck, resentment

We work together to make a plan they can stick to and revise it until it becomes second nature.

Tada!

It is all about intentional living/lifestyle design with a side dish of rest + relaxation.

The way I work with women:

  • In person group sessions at It’s All Yoga in Sacramento
  • Private coaching sessions via Skype (so don’t be sad if you live outside of Sacramento, we can still make it happen!)
  • Weekend retreats where we make new friends, eat great food, lounge around over bolsters and take a break from our daily responsibilities.

I’ve included some links below for my upcoming series and retreats. Please be sure to sign up if these interest you. Shoot me a message by hitting reply if you’d like to talk about private coaching sessions.

The other big news is I picked my word of 2016!

Most years I wait until the end of January because December is so exhausting, but I did so well saying no to all the extra stuff I had time for my year end personal summit AND choosing my word of the year.

YAY ME!

2016 word of the year

One foot in front of the other day after day. Small steps every day will get me where I want to go with a feeling of equanimity that I desire.

Please click here to read about how I choose my words.

Rosie’s word and Jen’s word are also inspiring me this year.

I’d love to hear your word of the year. Please hit reply and tell me all about it!

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

 

Want to learn how to Build Better Habits? Join me on Mondays in February at It’s All Yoga.

Registration is open.

 

Building Better Habits A 4-week Series with Tami Hackbarth

Live Well Women’s Retreats 2016 are in the works! Get yourself on the interest list to be the first to know all the details, discounts and destinations.

would you like to retreat with me

 

 

 

Self-care Gift Guide aka Gifts Worth Giving Yourself

Happy New Year, friends! I have put together a little self-care gift guide for you just in case you have some gift cards burning a hole in your pocket.

gift guide

MY TRIED AND TRUE SELF-CARE GIFTS

Dawn simulating alarm clock. It wakes you up gradually like the sun coming up. It puts you to sleep gradually like the sun going down. This thing has made me realize how much light rules my life and how much I hate waking up to loud noises in the dark. If you want to become a morning person and actually feel good when you wake up, try this. I can’t think of a single item that has changed my life more.

Sleep mask + ear plugs – Sleep is the number one predictor of sanity in my life, so I take it pretty seriously and do what it takes to make sure I get some good sleep. Friends mock my sensory deprivation tank, but to them I say, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

 White noise machine. We got one a few years ago for our kid and now I can’t sleep without one. Counter intuitive to make your sleep environment noisy, but it totally works! The ear plugs cancel the unpredictable noises and the white noise creates predictability. Have I ever told you about my sleep struggles? Well, this combo has helped me get the most restful sleep of my life. You can also download a white noise app on your phone.

Headspace meditation subscription. Regular meditation helps keep my head from talking to me while I am trying to sleep. This is one of the best investments I’ve ever made in my health.

Yoga bolster + eye pillow. My body craves rest and these tools help me give myself what I actually need. My home yoga practice really took off when I got the right props to help me. If I had to choose from all my props, I’d choose these over all else.

NEW SELF-CARE GIFTS FOR 2016

FitBit Charger HR. I might be the biggest data dork in the world. I am so excited to keep track of my sleep and my steps I can hardly stand it. Now if only I could get used to wearing it. I feel like a cat with a collar.

Hot Girls Pearls. Stasia (my personal stylist and favorite Vermont-ian) told me about these when we worked together last year. My big dilemma is I am made of fire and where I live feels like the surface of the sun 8 months a year which leaves me feeling homicidal instead of adorable – enter cooling pearls. I can’t wait to try them out!

Light Therapy Box. If the Pacific Northwest taught me one thing, it is I am a delicate flower when it comes to light. Turns out I am a bit of a sunflower and without a constant source of light, I get a bit of the depressions. A bunch of friends have been using them with great success.

Have you tried any of these? What are your favorite self-care gifts?

I look forward to seeing you soon!

xo,

Tami

PS: Interested in my new series Intro to Happiness? Join us at It’s All Yoga Mondays in January (under the WORKSHOPS tab).

january happiness our behavior matters

Wanna join the Intro to Happiness party, but sadly live outside the Sacramento area? Send me an email – tami underscore hackbarth at hotmail and I will add you to the interest list. If enough people raise their out-of-town-hands I will put together a class online. AND IT WILL ROCK!