Category Archives: Life as a Mama

Ruby joined our family in May 2011 through photographs and in October 2011 in person.

Ten Things I Loved In November

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Taking time each month to reflect on the good stuff has done wonders for my ability to actually stop and notice the good stuff. I’m truly thankful for Rosie’s inspiration.

Ten Things I Loved In November

Things I/We Did

1.      Voted. Since the election is over, we can now start answering our phone again. Yes, we still have a land line and we are the only living humans without caller ID, so you understand why this is so exciting. I’m also really happy with the outcome of the election and feel pretty damn good about the people in my Facebook feed. Hardly a reason to defriend anyone.

cutest ballot holder ever

2.      Draped over a bolster for hours at a time at the One Day Emotional Restoration Retreat with Michelle at It’s All Yoga.  Laying down for a couple hours, without sleeping, fully supported by props? Totally underrated. People, get yourselves to a restorative yoga class STAT!

pausing is good.

3.     FairyTale Town – Built in the 50’s, the play areas are metal and pointy and not at all what I expected. I think I liked it more than the kid, so we’ll definitely be going back.

4.    Embraced the leaves changing.

the twins

5.     Visited the redwoods in our backyard at the UC Davis Arboretum. Holy moly tree huggers! These redwoods ground me in a way I never thought possible or at least thought was reserved only for the ocean. I’m glad I’ve decided to embrace nature instead of bourbon.

tree hugger

6.    Introduced Ruby to the chickens who roam free in Fair Oaks. To be honest, I just really needed a change of playground scenery and deciding to visit the chickens was a pretty easy choice. A 20 minute drive from home and some serious laughs. Little girl was perplexed by their very existence. It cracked me up because a lot of the chickens were taller than her.

chickens are king!

7.    Celebrated Thanksgiving on Wednesday instead of Thursday. Dude, talk about taking the pressure off. I highly recommend it for the holiday avoidant.

On The Plate

8.     Mandarin pineapple smoothie {3 seedless mandarins, a bunch of frozen pineapple chunks and a container or plain soy yogurt in the blender with a touch of honey.}

deliciousness

9.     Polenta with marinara, olives, spinach, artichoke hearts and Daiya.

On The Bookshelf 

10.      Daring Greatly by Brene Brown

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So what are you loving lately? I’m always on the lookout for what is delicious in food, drink, fashion, and life. Leave me your favorites in the comments or write a post of your own and link back here.

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My friend, Rosie Molinary, made a list and I loved hers so much I stole her idea. Now I’ve been inspired to pause and notice the good stuff each month.

10 Ways To Practice Self Care

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Earlier this fall, Ashley of Our Little Apartment – wrote a post called How I Practice Self-Care and I have been inspired to share my self-care regimen.

Before we get to the good stuff, can we all have a collective groan/shutter/giggle at the phrase self-care? I am not a fan, but it is what it is. Being able to take better care of ourselves so we can really be there to take care of others is what is up. Like it or not.

Without further ado, 10 Ways To Practice Self Care.

10 easy ways to practice self care today

1. Go to yoga class. I go even when I don’t want to. Especially when I don’t want to. I find the more resistance I have to going – too tired, too cranky, too busy, too…, the more I need it. My people thank me for going. Yours probably will too.

Classes can be expensive, but there are ways to work around that. Practicing at home on your own, with a video or podcast. Attending community classes or classes with new teachers. One studio in Sacramento is by donation only. When I wanted to go to more classes than I could afford, I started volunteering at the front desk at my yoga studio in exchange for classes. It never hurts to ask.

2. Lay down often. Sometimes on my yoga mat with props (and I feel very virtuous for practicing restorative yoga on my own) and most days with my daughter in her bed for a couple of hours. There are days (usually in a row) when I am so tired by nap time I sleep with her and wake up with her patting my face and other days when I watch Netflix or catch up on my blog reading.

Most nights I am in bed ready for sleep in the nine o’clock hour. Going to bed on time is a struggle and I know it’s early, but I’ve got to be rested in order to keep up with the baby.

How much sleep do we really need? Probably more than you think.

3. Cook at home. I derive a huge amount of accomplishment from having cooked, so there you go. Plus I am allergic to dairy and oh so many other foods that eating out or packaged foods is a pain. Feeding myself well and gold stars? Sign me up!

I live a dairy-free life and am always in search of yummy recipes. If you are interested in my treasures, check out my Food Finds Board for recipe ideas.

4. Read a book every day. Some days it is just a few pages, but I make sure I do it. Reading is what makes me happy.

Looking for something good to read?

5. Go for a walk. Usually with Ruby in the stroller or Ergo, although recently I’ve been having her walk to wear her out for her nap. In any case, my feet are hitting the pavement every day and I feel so much better for it.

Need help getting started? 

6. Connect with friends. Park dates, walks with kids, brunches, yoga classes, texts, phone dates, Facebook messaging – I make time for connecting with people I love.

The upshot of 50 years of happiness research is that the quantity and quality of a person’s social connections—friendships, relationships with family members, closeness to neighbors, etc.—is so closely related to well-being and personal happiness the two can practically be equated. People with many friendships are less likely to experience sadness, loneliness, low self-esteem, and problems with eating and sleeping.   Source: Happiness Is Being Socially Connected

7. Kid-free time – daily. Luckily my husband is a teacher and can come home in the afternoon to take care of little girl before dinner. Mama needs some time to herself. Most of the self-care tips mentioned here aren’t for toddlers.

8. Couple time – this is new. Very, very new. And may become my new favorite thing. Thanks, Grandma!

9. No television news or women’s magazines. I’ve learned I’m a pretty delicate flower prone to depression, so I keep the visuals of depressing things to a minimum. I get my news from NPR and Twitter. I’m fancy that way. My ears do not betray me the same way my eyes do.

Body acceptance is always a work in progress and so keeping women’s magazines full of air-brushed images and “tips” for “improving” me out of my life also helps.

According to one study conducted by researchers at the Uni­versity of Missouri, after just one to three minutes of exposure to the types of images routinely found in women’s magazines, young women hate themselves more than they already do. Source: Excerpt from Airbrushed Nation found on Rosie Molinary’s blog.

10. Ask for help where I need it and live with good enough rather than seek out perfect. Recently someone posted on my Facebook wall a card saying “Cleaning house with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.” Um, yes. So twice a month California Green Clean comes and cleans while I take the tiny mess maker out of the house. It usually lasts until the next meal, but it is totally worth it for my sanity alone.

Does the mothering olympics make you crazy? Check out Good Enough Is The New Perfect.

So tell me, how do you take care of yourself?

Meditation Mantra Or How To Stay In The Moment Without Losing Your Marbles

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Does your mind become really active and agitated in quiet yoga poses and when you sit in meditation? Like there is a pack of wild cracked-up monkeys living it up in there?

Me too.

My secret to not losing my marbles during quiet times is to give my brain a job to do while I am in a restorative pose or sitting for meditation. My now employed monkey mind brain can do a job while I keep my focus on the present moment – where the happiness lives.

What I say:

May I be filled with lovingkindness

May I be well

My I be peaceful and at ease

May I be happy.

I repeat this until my mind settles down or until my sit/pose is finished. Some days I am still saying it when the timer goes off and other days I am able to settle in and focus.

Why focus on my own well-being instead of wishing these things for others?

It’s exactly like what they say when traveling with someone who needs help on an airplane, take care of yourself first so you can take care of others.

When I say it:

I use this mantra during my sits and long stays on my mat. I also say it while I am driving somewhere stressful or on my way to work in the car or when I am wanting to punch the person at the grocery store in front of me in the head. These words also come in handy when I am lying down with my daughter wishing more than anything that she’d go to sleep already.

Basically when I feel my body get stressed out because of modern life, I try to quiet my monkey mind by repeating this mantra.

How to spread the love into the world:

After I feel all full of love for myself, I substitute the name of a person I love dearly where I had been saying I. Now that I’ve been practicing with this mantra for a few years, I am able to send some lovingkindness to others. Needless to say, it took me a really, really long time to get there.

That’s how I stay in the moment without losing my marbles.

What’s your secret? How do you stay in the present? Do you use a mantra? 

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Based on teachings from Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living by Pema Chodron and Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness by Sharon Salzberg

Image source: We Heart It.

7 Steps to Jump Start Your Meditation Practice

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1. Read every meditation book you can get your hands on.

2. Think about meditation. A lot.

3. Sign up for a group meditation.

4. Collect meditation accessories – bolster, block, blankets, scarf, cushion, timer, candle, mantra, essential oils, CDs.

5. Check Facebook, Twitter and Google Reader to see if you are missing anything.

6. Check your phone. In case you missed a call.

7. Sit down, set the timer, press start.

SIT. {Really the ONLY step necessary}.

5 minutes daily to start.

We can do anything for 5 minutes a day. Even listen to the crazy people screaming in your head.

Image Source 1: We Heart It

Image Source 2: We Heart It.

Clearly this is my reminder to myself to sit.

Do you have a meditation practice?

Do tell me all about it.

You may also like: Tips and Tricks for Starting and Maintaining a Daily Meditation Practice.

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Don’t Take It Personally and Other New {School} Year Resolutions

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New years just beg for resolutions in my opinion. Since my brain works on the school year calendar, new years start in the fall. By January I’m all resolutioned out.

Last {working} school year, my mantra/resolution/intention was to Not Take It Personally. This pretty much changed everything about my life.

In my quest to not take things personally, I managed to listen more than I talked, I quieted down, really listened and let other people be the expert (pretty major for a know-it-all like me) and I let go of things that weren’t working for me.

Work relationships got easier, parent interactions (something I struggled with in the past) were more clear, professional and well, easier.  Even my personal life felt lighter and more fun.

Since school just started in this house, I’ve been recently thinking about what my intention for this school year will be. I know I’m not in the classroom, so why have one? To be honest, since I’ve started having an intention for the school year my professional life has greatly improved in the areas where I put my focus. Plus  I’m already thinking about next school year and I’m getting a bit anxious.

Where will I be teaching?

What will I be teaching?

Who will I be teaching?

Will I secure a job share?

Where will Ruby spend her time while I’m at work?

See what I mean? So many unanswered questions with so many possible answers. So many, in fact, I’m not quite sure how to wrap my brain around all the possibilities and all these loose ends are already making me tighten and grasp and grab at answers. I don’t know about you, but I’m sure my best decisions are not made while totally stressing about the outcome.

So, what’s a teacher/planner/mama/not-so-secret-control-freak to do?

I’ve decided my intention for this school year is to say yes.

For me,

  • Saying yes means I am open to all the possibilities, even the ones I am not sure exist yet.
  • Saying yes, means not having to know right now what will happen next school year (or even next week).
  • Saying yes means not getting mired in the details and letting the unknown suck the fun out of life right now.
  • Saying yes means finding ease instead of grabbing, grasping and holding.

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So, friends, how do you handle the big unknowns in your life?

Do you make resolutions or set intentions during times of transitions?

Do you have any words of wisdom for a current stay-at-home-mama needing to send her bebe to childcare in the relatively near future?

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Image source 1: We Heart It

Image source 2: We Heart It

In Case You Missed It Edition! Volume 36 – Moving At A Baby’s Pace

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{photo credit: Etsy – click image for source}

Happy Memorial Day weekend! We are on the home stretch of the school year and are using our time Monday to finish up adoption paperwork (because it is NEVER done) and hanging out with the hubs.

Wow, it’s been a few months since I’ve done a link post. I’m not sure why since I’m still reading and starring posts every day. Now that I remember how fun it is to share, expect more of these in the future.

I’ve found some links to posts that made me laugh, cry, think or at least raise an eyebrow. Please click the links and check out the posts. You may find something that rocks your world too.

Leave me some feedback in the form of comments below on what you liked, what you hated and what you’d like to see more of. I’m here to help you find the best of what is online.

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My Best Of…

For months now, ever since we brought Ruby home, I’ve been walking. And walking. And walking. Sometimes with a friend, sometimes alone, but mostly with the girl.  Until recently, I never thought walking was hard enough exercise (also see: not worth doing), but I’ve come to rely on walking as a way to reset my mood, my day and what feels like sometimes, my life.  I highly recommend reading Walking As A Retreat For the Busy Mom  (on Simple Mom)- about how one mom’s effort to save some money changed her life. – Are you a walker?

Do You Wish Life Went More Slowly? I loved everything about this post. Up until I started staying home with Ruby, I would have definitely answered yes. Life was moving so quickly and we had plans and classes and dates and more. Now I’m not so sure. Babies move pretty slowly (at least in that sense). – How’s the speed of your life?

Having trouble getting your greens in? Parenthacks (one of my newest favorite reads) delivers easy kid tips on every topic including getting your kid to eat green food. While Ruby is still happily eating anything and everything we put in front of her (and some off of our plates – and yours if you don’t watch out) – I know there will come a day when she doesn’t. Enter the Green Food Taste Test – so brilliant I am thinking about doing it with my future students. So science-y dorky and fun. – Do your little people discriminate based on (food) color?

3 Things You Need To Be Happy As A New Mom. – Um, yeah. I would also add: Massage/Yoga/Bodywork and in my case, weekly therapy. – Anything to add?

Adulting -How To Become A Grown Up in 387-ish Easy Steps. While you have probably already seen this blog, I feel it is my duty to recommend it again. Good god, I could have used this a decade ago.

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That is the In Case You Missed It Edition, folks.

Remember to click the links and leave some comments. This is a conversation, you know.

In Case You Missed Edition Archives -click it to see them all.

Things I’m Afraid To Tell You: My Thoughts On Adoption and Birth Mothers

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As Mother’s Day draws nearer, I find myself getting unexpectedly weepy.

First off, now I’m a mom. A role I wasn’t sure I was ever going to have, certainly one I came to later in life. It’s all now really sinking in.

I’m someone’s mom.

Here’s the part where my experience is different from other mothers and where some deep sadness fills my heart.

In addition to being over the moon about our baby, I can’t help but think about Ruby’s birth mom. And how her loss has been the biggest gift we’ve ever received.

Our precious girl.

Talk about a double-edged sword. Someone else’s loss being your gain? Let’s not even talk about what the kids have lost. Totally does my head in.

A number of people have written so eloquently about what adoption has taught them , about how the adoptive parents (NOT the children) are the lucky ones and honoring their son’s birth mother, that I ask you grab your favorite beverage and read their posts. All these posts brought me to tears and made me want to add my thoughts about adoption and birth mothers which at this point are not very eloquent.

I do have to say that not all of our experiences are the same, however I feel a deep kinship with other adoptive parents. I wanted to highlight some of the ways adoption is heartbreakingly beautiful, with an emphasis on heartbreaking.

Since I’m having some trouble putting together my thoughts on adoption and birth mothers in an eloquent way, I’ll just list them in no particular order. I bring these topics up now because I’ve been an adoptive mama for a while now and believe it or not these have come up. In the spirit of transparency on the internet, many brave bloggers are sharing what they are afraid of. 

I do fear people are going to take offense to what I’m about to say. Some want to tell me our experience as mothers is exactly the same and while there are many commonalities, there are a few huge differences. Some will find out they’ve accidentally stepped on toes because they’ve been curious. Some will find my thoughts presumptuous. So be it.

I’m filing this post under: Things I’m Afraid To Tell You.

afraidtotell_chalkboard_full

While I do not know my daughter’s birth mother, we are connected and I am forever in her debt. Ruby is a gift. She’s changed me in totally wonderfully unexpected ways.

Sometimes I find myself sobbing because I missed the first nine months with Ruby. She was so well cared for which is a relief, however I ache for that lost time.

Please don’t ask to know the details of a birth mother’s circumstances – it isn’t your business. I am nosy by nature, so I get it. But really, not your (or my) business. It is an awkward moment for everyone involved. That story truly does belong to the adoptive child and when they are old enough may or may not wish to share those intimate details of their past with you.

I know I’ve already over-shared some of Ruby’s history with people because I have been caught off guard. I feel awful about this because it’s not my story to tell. If I’ve shared anything about this history, please do not share with anyone. If I haven’t, please don’t ask.

Please don’t make assumptions about birth mothers. There is no typical story. There is no archetype. They are women just like us, making difficult choices. And for god’s sake, please don’t make comments about how “some” people are “breeding” and are “crackheads” who just irresponsibly give birth multiple times.

Really? sounds like right-wing anti-woman propaganda from the 80s. 

Just stop it.

For all we know, the woman standing next to us in line at the grocery store has an adoption story. For some, it is a secret. I imagine, a painful one. Even without your judgement.

Please don’t judge birth mothers. They may or may not have different life styles than us.  Comments about how you could never give up a child aren’t helpful either. Under certain circumstances, we’d all make tough choices to hopefully better the life of our child.

Please don’t say adoptive parents are lucky or saintly for adopting a child – we really are the lucky ones. We are the ones gaining a child to love.

Please don’t give parenting advice until you are also parenting an adoptive child – some things are just different when you are starting your life from a loss. Also, we lean toward Attachment Parenting and would probably be parenting this way even with a biological child.

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What are you afraid to tell people? Please share in the comments or write a post of your own and link back.

Please know that comment kindness is greatly appreciated.

Thanks to EZ at Creature Comforts for the challenge. And Jess for getting it all started.

Mother’s Day Gift Guide for the Yoga Momma

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Mother’s Day in the United States is Sunday, May 13th and I’m so excited because it is my first.

It’s recently come to my attention, thanks to Twitter, that Mother’s Day gifts need not be heart-shaped jewelry or flowers. Not that there’s anything wrong with those gifts (if you like those sorts of things), but not all mommas are into them.

So if you have a yoga momma in your life or if are a yoga momma yourself, here are some Mother’s Day gift ideas.

Photo credit: Vanessa Vitchit-Vadakan

Idea#1 – A Yoga Workshop

If I were to pick a workshop, I’d choose Mary Paffard’s Circles, Cycles and Spirals: Yoga and Ayerveda for Women’s Health.  It’s being co-taught by Mary and her daughter, Cyd on Sunday, June 3rd.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of taking a workshop with Mary, I highly recommend it. She’s wickedly, yet understatedly funny, infinitely knowledgable and is a huge proponent of rest. Clearly a teacher after my heart. Plus she has a British accent!

Idea #2 – A One Day Yoga Retreat

One of my 43 Before 43 was to attend a yoga retreat. I’ve already been to two in the last six months. I’m telling you, this is the absolute best spa day ever. Way better than actually going to a spa.

Michelle’s retreat (July 22nd) includes restorative yoga poses, journaling, silence, a delicious vegetarian lunch and a whole lot of heartwarming community. I couldn’t recommend it higher. Simply the best way to spend a day.

Idea #3 – A Private Yoga Session

Have you ever wanted to get pointers on a pose that just isn’t quite working for you? Do you have an injury or are you recuperating from an illness? Have you ever wanted the teacher in a regular class to focus on a particular area of the body?

Those are some of the reasons to have a private session with a favorite yoga teacher.

 Idea #4 – At Home Yoga Practice with MY favorite teacher

Sometimes life gets in the way of going somewhere else to practice. Wouldn’t it be nice to have what you needed to get on your mat at home?

Not sure where to start?

My favorite teacher, Michelle, has some videos for what ails you.

Work on your computer too much? Try this heart openers class

Feeling scattered and like your feet aren’t quite touching the ground? Try this grounding class.

Idea #5 – Yoga Props for Restorative Yoga at Home

I’m not going to lie, these props make me a happy, happy momma.

Click on the image for purchase information.

This list turns out to be MY real Mother’s Day wish list. Obviously not everyone is in Sacramento and able to come to workshops at It’s All Yoga, but there are studios close to where you live that your yoga momma might want a gift from.

Happy Mother’s Day!

What’s on your wish list?

Spring Cleaning and Planting Seeds

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Spring Cleaning – out with the old:

– Comparisons be damned!

– Glasses organized – hanging on a white wooden clothes hanger and now I’m wearing ALL my glasses and feeling fancy with my cute glasses wardrobe. Thanks to Pinterest for the inspiration!

– Emptied out my sock and underwear drawer and tossed all the ugly and uncomfortable. Why did it take so long to do this? Only cute and comfortable belong in those drawers.

– Purged my entire wardrobe to make room for my new wardrobe from Swap Asana. I totally scored.

–  Sorted, stashed,  and organized all Ruby’s toys into daily toy bins. Less choice makes for a less chaotic house and kid.

– Stashed almost all Ruby’s board books – turns out babies love repeats so much, this mama was going a bit kookoo.

– My sinuses – so many allergies going on here lately. Early to bed and lots of medication and I’m making it outside every day without sneezing like a crazy person.

Planting Seeds – in with the new:

– Daily park visits with the baby in hopes of planting the seed of daily physical exercise. {Maybe I can finally learn this lesson, since I’m responsible for teaching Ruby}.

– Boot organization project envisioned and supplies procured.

– Cooking 3 meals a day for the tiny girl in hopes we’ll all have a lifetime of mindful meal times. {A girl can dream}.

– Added yoga classes to my calendar – twice a week. I remember why I love it so much – quiet, community and savasana.

– Table manners – teaching the tiny one how to use a napkin and utensils and sit at the table instead of the Exersaucer. Now if only I can get her to stop dropping the napkin and utensils on the floor…

– Reading with that girl every day from her stack of library books because children are made readers on the laps of their parents. {someone please make me a t-shirt}.

– Mama meditation group – next meeting May 10th.

What have you been clearing out? What are you planting the seeds of?

photo credits: we heart it – click image for source

The Comparison Blues

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Truer words have not been spoken.

Friends, I’ve been quietly suffering from a serious case of Internet envy as of late and it’s made me a bit quiet and introspective.

This Twitter friend is buying a house! That Twitter friend is training for a half marathon! Those Twitter friends are having babies!

And just what am I doing?

Where is all my BIG LIFE EXCITEMENT? {I wonder very judgmentally.}

The interesting thing is I already have all those things. I bought a house (holy crap! over a decade ago), trained for a half (and almost made it to the race) and I HAVE a baby.

So what is up with the envy?

After spending many nap hours pondering this question, I’ve come up with an answer for myself which I will share with you.

The life I’ve chosen to live these days is a pretty quiet one. I’m not documenting every minute and sometimes it feels like don’t have much to say because people all over the world have kids and clearly what we’re doing over here isn’t revolutionary or mind-blowingly different from what everyone is doing. I didn’t invent motherhood and I’m clearly not pretending I did.

When I do try to document our little life my main partner in crime is either trying to smack my camera Sean Penn style, swatting at my iPod when I’m trying to tweet and yelling no, or running away from me.

In other words, I just can’t document my life and really be present with Ruby. Lesson learned.

Also, I’m not sure my readers, besides my mom (hi mom!), really care about the moment to moment action of me and the little bear.

This, I assure you, isn’t a cry for comments about how you really, really do want me to live-tweet my action packed mornings or write about the wackiness of new motherhood (more than I already do). I am just trying to get my head around my recent comparisons and the resulting bout of jealous gloominess.

To be honest, I feel better just admitting I was comparing my life to other people’s. Life is moving at a baby’s pace right now and won’t be like this forever, so I better slow down and enjoy it while it lasts.  Not in that everything is precious way, but in they are going to make me go back to work at some point and I will only get to hang with the little one after school and clearly I am so not ready for that.

Do you ever get the comparison blues?

What I’m Excited About: Sacramento Edition

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So many good things going on locally that I feel the need to share.

My friends Amanda from Urban Almanac and Christine from Stinky Buddha have started a mindful meditation/discussion group. The first meeting is tonight.

It’s All Yoga is having Spring Swap Asana on Saturday, April 21 – at the studio. Women’s gently used, still in style, clothes, shoes and accessories.

Check out the Facebook invite and bring your friends.

Play and Stay and Baby and Me Rhyme Time at the Robbie Waters Branch of the Sacramento Public Library is totally worth the drive to the Pocket from Midtown.

Tuesday and Thursdays – Open play time starts at 10:15 and goes to 11.

11-11:20 or so is story time and if your kid doesn’t nap until later the toys come back out until noon.

It’s completely FREE and always filled with delightful tiny people and their caregivers.

What are you excited about?

A Reminder

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Recently I’ve been plagued by a serious case of the worries ranging from something life threatening happening to Ruby to future school yard bullies and everything in between.

A few minutes into my most recent session with my therapist and she reminded me what I already knew – when I focus on the here and now – life is pretty damn great.

So I’ve decided to make a choice to not worry now and to deal with stuff as it comes up.

Yes, I know this isn’t revolutionary. I needed the reminder and thought I’d save you some therapy bucks.

What’s on your mind lately?

 

 

 

What I’m Loving This Birthday Week

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Have I ever mentioned how much I love my birthday? I do. It’s the only day I ever feel completely at ease with satisfying my every desire.

I’ve been enjoying a low-key celebration all week with meals out, swing time with baby girl, long talks with friends and a cocktail or two.

I’m loving this week:

Ruby is ours forever!

Finding Ruby’s court dress on super sale.

Birthday wishes in person, online and via phone.

Seeing my friends with my kid warms my heart in a way that brings tears to my eyes.

Books, books, books – themes: simple living with kids and educational travel.

A new Kindle Fire (thanks, sweetheart!) – so excited about having yet another option for reading. Now I just need to figure out how to get the library offerings.

Therapeutic therapy sessions – lately I’ve been making some serious progress and it feels like slogging through the yuck is for a good reason.

Ruby’s laugh.

Melissa’s visit.

My new haircut from Tari at Parlour by the Park.

Ruby kisses.

Amy is home from NYC and Paris and we have a date to talk about it!

Surprise bags full of baby clothes – thank you Lena and Yuliya!

Pandora’s Outlaw Country station.

A massage scheduled for this afternoon.

Plans to see Rhett Miller and the Serial Lady Killers in SF in June.

Spring Break is right around the corner.

What’s making you happy this week?

Happy Birthday To Me: Our Adoption Is {Finally} Final!

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If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time, you have figured out by now – adoption takes a long time. We started our process September 11, 2008 and yesterday Ruby officially became Ruby and a citizen of the United States.

I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present.

Our experience during this final piece of the adoption was full of paperwork and crowded waiting room visits, but it all came together yesterday when we met with the judge in his chambers.

The bailiff held the baby and let her play with her radio while Jed and I spoke to the judge and signed papers. Ruby’s fan club of court house ladies waited outside the judge’s office.

In the end, we’re officially a family.

Finally.

Happy Birthday to me.

43 Before 43: Baby Goes To The Beach

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One of my 43 before 43 is to take Ruby to the ocean. Living on the West Coast means {at least for me} having a deep love of the sand, waves and sunshine. However living with a baby, I am learning, is about taking things as they come and maybe crossing your fingers a bit. With my huge desire to experience a weekend away from home and to stick my toes in the sand, we set off for our journey. Over the new year weekend we drove out to Jenner to spend time with our friends A+B. We were very a little nervous about taking Ruby for such a long car ride since she has officially registered her opposition to the car seat. What a delightful surprise when she slept pretty much the entire way there and we were able to enjoy a few days away. Here are a couple of snaps from The Girl’s first visit to the beach. We’re looking forward to taking Miss Ruby on more adventures. Tell me about trips you’ve taken with your little ones. What shouldn’t we miss?

43 Books – Learning To Breathe: My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm to My Life

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As part of my 43 Before 43 I’m reading 43 Books.

photo credit: ponderingyogini.org

After a lifetime of panic attacks, author Pris Warner decided she would like the brain of a monk and all that comes along with it – peace, tranquility, compassion, loving kindness, wisdom and patience.

In Learning To Breathe, she takes a year to discover the path to peace.

Friends, I loved almost everything about this book.

I immersed myself in the author’s story and admired the author for facing her fears. I found her immediately likable and I really cared whether she would be relieved from her panic attacks in the end. Reading quickly over three days I was reminded of my own lifelong desire for inner peace.

Hmmm, maybe I need to get myself back on the cushion.

My only issue is I found it to be a bit tidy. What do I mean by tidy? The author decided she wanted the brain of a monk and next thing you know she’s on the path to a daily 20 minute meditation practice.

I have been struggling with adding meditation to my life for years, so I wonder how this happened so effortlessly. She didn’t feel any resistance or forget just plain forget? I need some of that!

That was my only beef with the book.

I sped through each chapter which covers a month and a spiritual practice aimed at resolving her panic attacks.

While I don’t suffer specifically from panic attacks, I do suffer from complex PTSD  and as a result have also used many of the therapies the author experiences in my quest to find a more peaceful existence.

The one hold out for me has been EMDR. As a result of reading about the author’s success, I decided to give it a try.

I may or may not be writing about that experience later, but I am hopeful that I will be able to move forward because if this treatment.

Do I recommend this book? Without a doubt.

Would I want to be friends with author? Yes, if for nothing else, to get some meditation tips.

Have you read Learning to Breathe? What did you think?

Talking Adoption on Yes and Yes

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Today I am guest posting about adoption over at one of my favorite of all times blogs – Yes and Yes. If you are curious about the hows and whys of our adoption journey, this is where you’ll find some answers.

Sarah Von is a world traveling former ESL teacher with a love of Taiwan and a contagious laugh.

I hope you stop over to read my post and while you are there stay awhile and get to know Sarah a bit.

Hard Life Lessons From a Cowboy

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“It’s not really about the horses, is it?”

No, no it’s not.

That’s the thing about this documentary about a boy horribly abused by his father who grows up to embody compassion, kindness and generosity of spirit. It’s not really about the horses. It’s about the resiliency of this man.

I sobbed my eyes out watching the documentary Buck.

Like some serious ugly-cry crying. Thank goodness for Netflix Watch Instantly – boy, this would have been much uglier in public.

What can I say? Kindness of this degree brings me to my knees.

We have a lot in common, me and this guy. Childhood harms that could have turned us into monsters {or at the very least really damaged people continuing the abuse} and yet we both have sought a path to change how the harsh world operates.

At one point, Buck says, “Horses are the mirrors to our souls.”

Not being a horse girl {though my eight year old self would have loved to have been} I would argue so are children. They hold up a mirror to all of our ugly places and unflattering traits, the ones the other adults in our lives rarely see because they are too caught up in hiding their own.

Children (and horses) just keep giving us lesson after lesson about kindness, compassion, generosity and living in the moment. In other words, the lessons we need to keep practicing until they become second nature.

So while on the surface this seems to be a horse movie, it really is about making a life worth living.

Finding My Voice As A Parent: Also See STFU

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Alternate post title: Quit effing telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing with my kid.

Three months in and I’m already over people’s “helpful advice”.

Some advice for advice givers, just don’t.

Commiserating about being tired is welcome, but telling me things that start with “you should” or “you shouldn’t” or “don’t ever” isn’t welcome or helpful. What works for you and your family works for you. All kids, parents and families are different.

Including mine.

Recently someone asked me how I was and when I replied that I was exhausted because Ruby had been kicking me, hitting me and or bumping into me all night {while she was sound asleep}, the woman replied, “You shouldn’t be sleeping with your baby!”

My eyes stung with tears (from exhaustion and let’s be honest, being admonished). I said through clenched teeth – “Well, we are. It is our decision to continue bonding with our newly adopted baby throughout the night. We have made our decision about what works for our family right now and when you are parenting an adopted kid please let me know.”

In case you are wondering, I’m still pissed.

This comment implies I haven’t thought carefully about this (and every other) decision we’ve been making in regard to parenting Ruby. I have been weighing my loss of sleep and the rage that accompanies it (which is a whole other issue unrelated to Ruby) and wanting to make up for those nine and a half months she wasn’t with us {also see: the dark ages}.

I’ve agonized over the “cry it out” people telling me I could train her to self-soothe by letting her sob alone in her crib. Dude, I’m not going to do it.  So stop telling me how well it worked for your kid.

Friends, I’m new at this parenting thing and Ruby is a special girl with lots of people interested in her well-being. In other words, we’re doing this thing kind of more publicly than I’m comfortable with. Usually I like having at least a basic handle on things before I share them with the world. That doesn’t work in parenting. It changes by the moment and so does what works for your family.

It’s a lot like yoga in that way. What works for your body in this moment is what is right for you. Who am I to tell you are wrong because it looks different than what I would do?

I’m working on finding my own voice as a parent. As a natural worrier and as someone prone to deep feelings of shame over being “wrong”, please be kind and thoughtful in your comments about what I “should” and “shouldn’t” be doing.

Nobody likes when you do that.

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So tell me, how do you handle unsolicited advice?

Attitude of Gratitude Re-Cap

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Day 1 – thankful for Ruby and adoption for making us a family.

Day 2 – thankful for Jed – best husband and father.

Day 3 – thankful for sometimes waking up before the baby.

Day 4 – thankful for books. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t read and watching Ruby play with hers is the best gift.

Day 5 – thankful for healthcare coverage for my entire family and a clean bill of health for all.

Day 6 – thankful for sweater dresses and boot socks.

Day 7 – so thankful for my It’s All Yoga family.

Day 8 – thankful for generous friends.

Day 9 – thankful for a union job and parental leave so we can be at home to bond with our baby without worrying about our jobs.

Day 10 – thankful for massage.

Day 11 – thankful for the people in the armed services and their dedicated service to this country.

Day 12 – thankful for social media because it keeps me in touch with the outside world.

Day 13 – thankful for year round farmer’s markets.

Day 14 – thankful for long, hot baths after the baby goes to sleep.

Day 15 – thankful for music that inspires me to sing out loud.

Day 16 – thankful for the restorative powers of showers.

Day 17 – thankful for uninterrupted sleep in a way I never dreamed possible.

Day 18 – thankful for daily account summaries from my bank which remind me I’m not completely broke.

Day 19 –  thankful for warm cozy blankets for naps on cool days.

Day 20 – thankful for central heat (and air).

Day 21 – thankful for early morning walks with lovely friends.

Day 22 – thankful for all the blogs I read and the Google Reader to keep them organized.

Day 23 – thankful for my yoga props: bolster, eye bag, strap, blankets, mat.

Day 24 – thankful for Ruby’s birth family. Our family wouldn’t be complete without their generosity.

Day 25 – thankful for the middle path.

Day 26 – thankful for whole days with nothing planned.

Day 27 – thankful for free shipping.

Day 28 – thankful for our house cleaning fairies.

Day 29 – thankful for YOU, my readers.

Day 30 – thankful for It’s All Yoga for the Attitude of Gratitude inspiration.

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A special thank you to Amy Shearn over at The Oprah Life Life blog for the Attitude of Gratitude post.

Want to see where it all started?

What are you thankful for?

43 Things Before 43

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For months I’ve been reading about other people’s Life Lists and wondering if I could ever make one without driving myself crazy with all the achieving and in-my-head competition.

Would my list be cool enough?

Would I really do everything I said I would?

What huge adventures await?

Inspired by Rosie’s birthday list, Sarah’s try new things before her birthday list and Amy’s Life List, I’ve decided to put together a list of things I would like to do before I turn 43.

Why 43 instead of 42?

My birthday is in 4 months and I don’t want to hurt myself getting it all done before then. My list is l-o-n-g, makes me think I needed to start this  thing in my 20s.

My intention with this list is to remind myself to have more fun, take care of myself and to do things out of the ordinary.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

The List:

1. Take my birthday (March 20th) off – no work, no obligations – just fun.

2. Take an anti-gravity yoga class.

3. Road trip to Portland with Ruby.

4. Take Ruby to see live music.

5. Read 43 books.

6. Put my feet in the ocean with Ruby.

7. Pick berries.

8. Go on retreat.

9. Teach an active yoga class.

10. Go to the movies by myself. {Yep, I’ve never done this. I have, however, gone to a rock show on my own so don’t feel too sorry for me.}

11. Attend a service at a Universal Unitarian church.

12. Explore the Taiwanese culture in Sacramento.

13. Learn 10 words/phrases in Mandarin.

14. Run a 5K.

15. Write a fan letter.

16. Rent a house at the coast or in the mountains.

17. Teach a class on social media and blogging to teachers.

18. Sleep outside.

19. Do a swim workout.

20. Watch my first students graduate from high school.

21. Spend a week away from the Internet.

22. See a play.

23. Go to a sing along at the Crest.

24. Take a photography class.

25. Take a cooking class.

26. Take a private yoga class.

27. Actually make something I’ve pinned on Pinterest.

28. Go to the ballet.

29. Have a family portrait taken.

30. Watch a movie outside in the backyard.

31. Take Ruby on a hike.

32. Help a friend start a blog.

33. Build an outdoor shower.

34. Make a wall of bookshelves in the dining room.

35. Redesign the entryway and make it pretty and useful.

36. Start a mom/play group in Midtown.

37. Teach a class at my gym.

38. Organize the pantry.

39. Get rid of all the shoes I don’t wear because they are uncomfortable.

40. Take a nap in a hammock.

41. Host a baby shower.

42. Take a photo every day.

43. Make the Book of Me into a book.

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Do you make yearly plans? A Life List? Would you like to?

I’d love to hear about yours.

And I’d love for you to join me in making my list a reality. Please let me know if you’d like to do any of my 43 with me.

TGBTS Recipe Edition! Best Damn Granola – EVER {Guest Post!}

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Our return from Taiwan was even sweeter because of how our dear friends took care of our food needs.  Vanessa was one of our many friends who kept us well-fed in those first few blurry, jet-lagged weeks.
Here’s Vanessa to share the recipe for the best damn granola ever.
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With the news that the newest member of the Hackbarth-Brewer household would soon be arriving, loved ones couldn’t wait to stock the family with all things baby:  clothes, toys, books, furniture, good wishes, advice.  And food.  Lots of it!  Every new family needs it, but in the first few weeks with a new baby, who has time to chop carrots when there are songs to be learned and long walks to be taken?

Tami’s fellow yogi, Madeleine, rallied friends to sign up on Mealtrain, a website that helps organize meal-making and delivery.  Safe home from Taiwan with Sacramento’s newest resident in tow, Tami and Jed began receiving deliveries of hot, nourishing meals from friends eager to feed them lentil soup, black bean soup, chicken soup, hearty chili– all foods to fuel the new parents through jet lag and diaper changes and a new life with the sweet babe.

I couldn’t wait to get in on the action, but living more than an hour away, I wasn’t going to be able to casually drop off a casserole.  So I looked toward less perishable options and immediately thought of one of my favorite recipes, a slightly tweaked version of the very best granola ever, which is handmade by Early Bird Foods in Brooklyn.  It’s a delicious play of sweet against salty, made luscious by a generous hit of olive oil.  There’s plenty of room to adjust the ingredients to your taste by, say, leaving out the sunflower seeds and adding in a cup of chopped almonds instead.  If you want to add in dried fruit like currants or chopped apricots, wait for the last 20 minutes of cooking so they don’t get too dried out.

You might look at the amount of olive oil, maple syrup, and brown sugar and think you can save a few calories or fat grams by using less, but don’t do that.  Their proportion (along with the salt) is what gives the granola its magical addictiveness.  Eat the granola with yogurt or milk or as an ice cream topping, or do what Tami does and use it to top cooked apples.  Usually I just eat it by the handful, pausing occasionally to lick the salt off my fingers.

Ruby (and Tami) helped me whip up another batch of granola this week.  From the looks of it, I’d say there’s a new cook in the family!

Bon appétit to Ruby and her mom and dad!

Welcome Home Granola

3 cups rolled oats (not baby oats or the quick-cooking kind)
1 cup raw, shelled sunflower seeds
1 cup raw, shelled pumpkin seeds (also known as pepitas)
1 1/4 cups coconut flakes (the thick, wide ones, sometimes called coconut chips)
1 1/4 cups raw, chopped pecans
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil (something bold and fruity is preferable)
1/2 cup light brown sugar, packed
3/4 cup pure maple syrup (any grade is fine so long as it’s real maple syrup)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup raw cocoa nibs

Preheat oven to 325ºF.

Combine all the ingredients except the cocoa nibs in a large bowl and mix them together to coat everything evenly.  Spread the granola out on a large, rimmed baking sheet.  Bake for 40-50 minutes, carefully stirring the granola every 10 minutes;  pay special attention to keep the edges from burning.  During the last 10 minutes of cooking, stir in the cocoa nibs.

The granola should be uniformly light brown when it is done. Remove from oven and allow to cool thoroughly.  Taste and add a little more salt if you like.  Store in an airtight container.

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Questions? Comments? Love for V3 or me?

Do you have any recipes or favorite {dairy free} foods to share?

granola

Mama’s Most Used Nap Time Apps and A Request for Your Favorites

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{image: Google – I so hope to take a picture like this someday.}

In the last few weeks, I’ve found myself with LOTS of quiet time every day. Not the kind where you get things done, the kind where you are pinned under a tiny human who will nap twice as long, but only if you are with her. {And no, I’m not looking to change this. I may later, but now isn’t later}.

While I could use this time to sleep myself, I fear a 90 minute nap would interfere with my night-time sleep.

For the record, I am tired during the day. Everyday. But just the thought of messing up my night-time sleep makes me a little crazy. So I stay awake, one arm pinned under my tiny human and use my iPod Touch.

Also for the record, getting old sucks. I used to be able to sleep anywhere anytime.

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Netflix – Watch Instantly is my friend. I’m watching Twin Peaks (for the first time ) and Friday Night Lights. Do you have any recommendations?

Pinterest – Can. Not. Stop. Pinning. There, I said it. Believe me, I thought this was the singularly most idiotic idea {right after Facebook, of course} and now? See comment above.

Google Reader – I know, not an App, but I am keeping up on my blog reading. Commenting? Not so much.

Words With Friends – Want to play? I’m TGBTS.

NPR News + podcasts – Love me some Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me and Fresh Air and Culturetopia.

Twitter.

Facebook – although I hate it on my Touch. I feel like I am missing everything.

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So if you were in charge of my 90 minute nap time and my iPod Touch, what would you make sure I didn’t miss?

I’m looking for your favorite Apps, TV shows, movies, podcasts – whatever I shouldn’t miss and why you love it. 

Review 11 Things for 2011 on 11/11/11

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Last December I wrote about 11 things I going to give up in 2011.

Seems it would be appropriate today to check in on the progress.

1. Cable TV – we still have it and we’re still talking about how we need to get rid of it. Not because we’re watching too much (thanks, Ruby), but because it is an added expense on our new one-income household.

The problem? We have bad internet and research is showing that good internet comes with cable.

Any advice?

2. My Yoga Journal subscription – gone. Haven’t thought about it once until now.

3. Paring down books and clothes.

I have definitely caught the clothes swapping bug. I went shopping in a store once this year. The rest were swaps or hand-me-downs from lovely friends.

Books have been traded, swapped, sold and donated.

Newest challenge? Keeping Ruby’s books corralled and her clothes sorted and passed on once she’s finished with them. Again, the generosity of friends and family with gifts and hand-me-downs and she has quite an extensive wardrobe.

4. Eliminate sugar, dairy and bread for a month.

I did it and NEVER felt better which inspired me to visit the allergists and lo and behold, I am really allergic to dairy. Not in the my-tummy-hurts-way, but in the why is my nose completely stuffed up way.

I have been dairy free since January (mistakes have been made and paid for) and I am happy to report I haven’t suffered the wrath of a respiratory infection, cold or much more than a mild case of the sniffles since.  Seasonable allergies (to every single plant in Sacramento) can finally be treated with regular allergy medicine.

While eating dairy free is a ridiculous pain the in butt, it has made my life world’s better.

5. Cutting out screen time at 8:30 pm.

I did it all during January and I never slept better or felt more refreshed. I kept track of my progress on a Gold Star Chart (like Gretchen Rubin). Simply amazing. I kept that screen time limit all month!

February rolled around and I promptly forgot the chart and the screen time crept right back to bed time. Clearly, this is a work in progress.

6. Clearing out the clutter.

Another work in progress. Jed and I got rid of countless bags of our stuff only to have it replaced with baby stuff. Again, a work in progress. If you know anyone needing baby girl stuff in Sacramento, please send them my way. I will have plenty to pass on.

7. Quit signing up for e-courses and finish 2010’s.

I am still working on 2010’s (a gentle nudge to do so) and only purchased two in 2010. I really liked one (and I still need to finish) and the other was only $12 (totally worth the price).

8. Consistently exercising – making friends with cardio.

2011 has been a good year for exercise. I found my perfect exercise partner and we hit the gym most weekdays during summer break and we’re both exercising (albeit way less) well into the fall.

Cardio is still mind-numbingly boring, however I am trying to make nice with it by walking with Ruby in the pouch and friends by my side.

Want to make a walking date? Leave a comment and let’s set up a date.

9. To stop taking things personally.

It is definitely less of a struggle to do this, but these days I have less opportunity to be criticised. I think. Or I am just too tired and involved with my new kid I stopped caring. Jury is still out.

10. Hire a housecleaning service.

Holy crap! BEST money I’ve ever spent. Plus it turns out the people I know with tidy houses have help keeping it that way. Need a referral? We love Angela, Sally and Elsa over at California Green Clean.

11. We finally became a family.

2011 saw the end of our adoption wait. Ruby is finally home and we couldn’t be happier.

Looking back at the year so far – were you able to let go of what no longer worked in your life? What can you give up going forward?

Letting Go of What Used to Be and Embracing What Is

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Today I have plagued with a touch of sadness of what used to be. I’d get up, get ready, go to work and come home and do whatever I felt like doing. Sometimes going to yoga, sometimes watching TV and sometimes talking for hours on the phone with girlfriends in other cities.

I’d also work on school projects and connect with other teachers about lessons for my class and respond to emails from families.

Connecting with others through blogging and social media online and in person were some of my favorite things to do. Who doesn’t love a long lunch or an extended happy hour?

The only thing controlling my time and how I spent it was me.

Even my husband didn’t make a lot of demands on my time. We somehow fell into a comfortable flow of me time, them time and our time over the course of our decade and a half long relationship.

Fast forward a month + into parenthood and it’s dawning on me that I’m not the one in charge anymore. In order for me to meet the needs of my family I need to simply be available to them when they need me. And for now, they need me most of the time.

While I am no longer able to be spontaneous and available to others, I am answering the call of a little dependent person. Something I’ve never done before.

I feel like I am disappointing others because things are not what they used to be and I’m sad to have to let go of my identity of always reliable go-to friend and feel a bit disappointed in myself for not being able to have things like they were.

And yet, really happy to have my new role as mama.

For now  – I am increasing my tolerance for other people’s disappointment. {The words of my lovely friend Michelle from Love Wasting Time}

So I am trying to let go of what used to be and embracing what is and trying not to contribute to my own suffering for wanting things to be any different than what they are.

I am hoping this isn’t sounding like a whiny rant or a plea for sympathy, I am just noticing a huge, yet subtle change in my life and thought I would share.

How do you embrace change in your life?

How did you transition into your role as a parent?

Reflection: Our First Month With Ruby

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Yesterday during my day long cryfest  yoga retreat, I had some time to reflect on my first month of parenthood.

The Good:

Ruby’s laugh – honestly I’ve never hear a sound that makes me happier.

Ruby’s smile.

Her lips.

Her cheeks.

The look on her face first thing when she wakes up – like she’s been waiting for this moment her whole life.

Baby babble: mommomomomomomomom

The clapping.

Licking books.

Giving me a book over and over to read again and again {current favorites: Good Night Gorilla, The Foot Book, I Am A Bunny, and Brown Bear, Brown Bear.}

Pounding the table at meal time for MORE. NOW. PLEASE.

Her high level of enthusiasm for baths.

Pulling herself up using your pant legs and hugging our knees.

Tiny baby feet.

Her Mongolian spot.

Constantly being reminded what needs attention in this moment – sweeping under the bird-cage, turning off the electronics, closing all the drawers – mostly a cuddle with mama.

The Bad:

Worry much? Friends, I am a worrier by nature and since we’ve invited our little nugget into our house I’ve turned the worry dial up to 11 on many a nights. Holy crap – nothing is too small or too big.

The disrupted sleep. The baby sleeps great, but between the worry and the moving, kicking, flopping etc I barely get a wink.

The lack of yoga class. People, yoga at home is awesome, but the community of others? underrated when you haven’t spoken to anyone higher than your knee in a long while.

My body hurts – between the worry, the contortionist sleeping, the picking up and walking around with 17 extra pounds – mama needs a massage STAT!

The Ugly:

One more than one occasion I asked if I needed to brush my hair before I left home. {the answer is always yes. I know, I know}.

The kitchen floor under her high chair.

The front of all her clothes by mid-day. Drool much?

Diapers are disgusting. That is all.

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Thank you for being there for us this first crazy month. We feel so loved and well taken care of. We’re starting to get out and about more and having visitors more regularly, so if you see us around or want to make a date – give us a shout out.

XO.

Today We Rest

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The Nap Taker

by Shel Silverstein

No – I did not take a nap –
The nap – took – me
off the bed and out the window
far beyond the sea,
to a land where sleepy heads
read only comic books
and lock their naps in iron safes
so that they can’t get took.

And soon as I came to that land,
I also came to grief.
The people pointed at me, shouting,
“Where’s the nap, you thief?”
They took me to the courthouse.
The judge put on his cap.
He said, “My child, you are on trial
for taking someone’s nap.

“Yes, all you selfish children,
you think just of yourselves
and don’t care if the nap you take
belongs to someone else.
It happens that the nap you took
without a thought or care
belongs to Bonnie Bowlingbrook,
who’s sittin’ cryin’ there.

“She hasn’t slept in quite some time –
just see her eyelids flap.
She’s tired drowsy – cranky too,
’cause guess who took her nap?”
The jury cried, “You’re guilty, yes,
you’re guilty as can be.
But just return the nap you took
And we might set you free.”

“I did not take that nap,” I cried,
“I give my solemn vow,
and if I took it by mistake
I do not have it now.”
“Oh fiddle-fudge,” cried out the judge,
your record looks quite sour.
Last night I see you stole a kiss,
Last week you took a shower,

“You beat your eggs, you’ve whipped your cream,
at work you punched the clock,
You’ve even killed an hour or two,
we’ve heard you darn your socks.
We know you shot a basketball,
you’ve stolen second base,
and we can see you’re guilty
from the sleep that’s on your face.

“Go lie down on your blanket now
and cry your guilty tears.
I sentence you to one long nap
for ninety million years.
And when the other children see
this nap that never ends,
no child will ever dare to take
somebody’s nap again.”

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Today we rest. I’ll be at It’s All Yoga, but feel free to join me in spirit while you are at home.

Also, if you’d like to come try a class during November, send me a message or leave me a comment and I’ll get you a card.

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How are you resting today?

The One In Which I Declare I Hate Halloween

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Yesterday I woke up feeling a little out of sorts when I realized it was Halloween.

The beginning of the (dreaded holiday season).

I admitted out loud (on Facebook no less!) that I don’t like Halloween and was pleasantly surprised by the agreement from some friends. So happy to not be alone in this.

The scary costumes, the scary decorations, the way-too-old trick or treaters, the slutty costumes and the idiotic drunken behavior – bah humbug!

I don’t get it.

I never have.

Even when I was a kid, Halloween left me feeling uncreative, disappointed, generally let down. Every year I resolved to come up with a better costume, to not be a scaredy cat when the older kids played pranks and maybe finally make it through the haunted house without wanting to cry.

Not much has changed, I still don’t like Halloween.

But then someone kindly offered that I may find something new about Halloween since I’m now a mama and responsible for Ruby’s Halloweens.

Hmmmm.

So grabbed the borrowed lady bug costume and brought Ruby outside for a little photo shoot before the trick or treaters arrived.

Bah humbug begone!

What do you think of Halloween? Celebrate or hate?

Do you ever change your mind about something because someone you love sees it differently than you?

At Home Yoga For New Mamas

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In my pre-baby life I read somewhere that only doing yoga in a class setting was like exclusively going places by being driven around in a limousine. At some point, you are going to have to learn to drive if you want to get where you want to go.

Enter the home practice.

Friends, I’m not going to lie. Practicing yoga at home is hard, especially when you’ve been spoiled with excellent teachers like I have.

Where do I start?

What should I do?

What poses do I do?

How long do I do it for?

What does my body need right now?

What the hell does that even mean?

When practicing at home was first brought up in my yoga teacher training I may have actually guffawed. The joke is now on me.

I now have a home practice. I’m pretty sure it looks different from yours or his or hers, but I have one.

What changed?

I started teaching restorative yoga regularly (first Sunday of the month and needing to feel what I was teaching) and getting myself a baby thus limiting my time outside the house alone.

What does my home practice look like?

Depends on the day and what hurts or needs my attention.

Sometimes, like say when my brain is on overload or I’m so tired I can hardly stand it,  I simply lay in Savasana (corpse) with Ruby on my chest while she has a nap. Since I usually don’t fall asleep, I just rest and try to quiet my mind without obsessively checking my Google Reader.

Sometimes, if my back hurts from all the constant forward bending and lifting from chasing an active 10 month old around,  I will lay in Savasana with a bolster under my shoulder blades while she’s snoozing with Papa. If I don’t have a bolster around I use a rolled up blanket, towel or pillow. When my back is particularly sensitive, I’ll keep my knees bent and feet on the floor to have the stretch be a bit more gentle.

To come out of the heart roll, be sure to roll to one side off the support and rest for a minute or two before using your arms to help you up.

Other times, I’ll sneak in some gentle neck rolls, an easy twist or a puppy while playing on the floor with her

Every so often, I’ll let Ruby lead and we usually end up in Happy Baby.

What about you? How do/did you take care of yourself when your baby came home?

Things To Do While We’re Away

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Surprise!

We’re back.

Not really. Auto-post is like magic.

I did want to stop in and say hi and tell you all we miss you already and point out some good internet things to do while we’re away.

As you read this we’re probably completely wrecked in Taiwan after the 12 hour flight which left at 2am + a 15 hour time difference. We’ll be posting occasionally to Facebook and Twitter if we can.

In the meantime, here are a couple of posts until we get it together when we return from Taiwan and to the blog.

Happy reading!

Helpful hints for welcoming a new family home – thank you, Rosie Molinary! We’re looking forward to introducing our new addition to everyone, just as soon as we’re all bonded as a family.

Go look at all the pretty stuff I’ve pinned on Pinterest

Find out more about adoption from Adoptive Families Magazine.